Will I accidentally grow a penis?

[Switcherpoo]

Just noticed my bubble bath is for men. It's not the first time I've used it. Slightly offended by the notion that women don't need muscle therapy too.

Does this mean I will accidentally grow a penis? (Lighthearted obviously )

Does it smell nice? If it gives my muscles a little definition I might have to soak myself in it for a bit.

Well the question is whether it'll be a male penis or a female penis!

Do you want one? There are ways (or so I've heard).

Better muscle definition is needed here too. And quite right. If I could choose, I'd have a female penis. It wouldn't get in the way of anything then.

And it defo smells nice!

I'm told that Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders haven't been feeling themselves since they began showering with Radox for Men.

Put it away!

I have the exact same bath stuff! I don't really want a penis but will it make people listen to me more?

This is my favourite bubble bath. I’ve been using it for years multiple times per week - it didn’t used to be branded “for men” so I was never warned of the potential problems. However, I’ve managed to have periods, a baby & continue to breastfeed in the time I’ve been using the bubble bath. Perhaps it’s because it’s operated by penis? My DH usually runs my baths for me.

Ah I see! Now I understand what I did wrong. DH will be running the bath now in future. I wasn't reading the instructions properly but this has now been rectified.

Although the fear of an unwanted penis in my bath has not been allayed.

"Nature inspired fragrance" - cow manure is natural, but not sure I'd want my bubble bath to smell like it, even if it was guaranteed not to make me grow a penis

As a young woman I read that a particularly solitary species of octopus turns one of its arms into a giant penis which then detaches and swims off to find a female, using its sense of smell to find her. Once spotted it clamps on and discharges the sperm. Used to feel for that poor female minding her own business unaware that an unexpected and unbidden penis was about to arrive.
Your disturbing bath scenario has brought it all back. I suggest you change brand immediately - it's not worth the risk.

I'm surprised your new penis hasn't started growing already.
Did it, at least, put hairs on your chest?

Agree - I should move bath to radox bath salts immediately. Used it for years without growing a penis...

You can’t use it. Only men have muscles.
Clearly.

Good grief OP, I hope you’re not using proper male biros and razors too? You do know you should pay
extra for pink ones in pretty packets, right?!

@Babdoc fuck that! I don't shave my legs and dictate everything to my male voiced Siri.

Clearly the makers of this bath pil have not read the memo about men not liking pink. That or they actually think women have muscles that may need easing. Ah the mixed messages are killing me .

I just googled octopus erotica following reading about octopus penis. It’s a bit of a thing apparently.

Just noticed my bubble bath is for men.
Does this mean I will accidentally grow a penis?

What does having a penis have to do with being a man? Biological determinism is sooo 2012.

Being female in every sense except your bath product choice means you are non-binary. You won't get paid the same as men, but you can tell disabled people they should sympathise with how hard your life is. Also you are extremely fashionable at the moment.

I shave my legs using Nivea For Men shave gel..... Does this make me gender queer or something?

(Never google octopus erotica... It's a big - and very disturbing - genre...)

I’ve used male after shave for years. Still no sign of a penis. Should I sue Tommy Hilfiger?
Oh, and gender fluid - is that a euphemism for lube?
I’ll get my coat....

Now resisting the urge to google octopus erotica....don't do it...it can't be unseen...

Pfft, I have the last bit of that exact same product in the cupboard upstairs (it was great after a run but I haven't run for a couple of years after an injury!). It does NOT say "for men", it's neutral. So why the rebrand? Radox are going backwards!

@silentcrow this thread is no longer lighthearted.

Why are we being excluded from this once gender neutral product? What's the reasoning behind rebranding to this? Do they think women will continue to buy radox regardless, but men are so stupid they will only buy toiletries with men or man on the label? FFS. Men should be outraged!

Well, it is clearly not for women - it’s not pink and not marked up in price. I do not know what you were thinking, ladies.

Oh god - octopus erotica. Could have done without that. It was bad enough when I just had the occasional female octopus to worry about...