What did you identify as when you were a child?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

I need something lighthearted after the incredible grimness of the thread about police intimate searches. As a SA survivor, flashbacks a-go-go

So I was thinking, what kinds of weird shit did you pretend to be when you were a kid? And how would your life be now if the adults around you had taken you really seriously?

My 3yo just announced she is a Terrible Potato who lives in a cave.

A fire engine. When I had a wish it was always to be a fire engine. I once ran round the garden going "neee naaawww" until I was bright red. My area would be stuffed if I still ID' as one, as I'm not a massively fast runner & can hardly carry my 18kg 3yo upstairs never mind a handful grown women &/or men, plus hoses & BA

I identified as Casper the Ghost, and, morbidly, as The Death 💀 for some time (there is a family movie classic in my culture that features the personified Death and I found him very cool). Not sure what would have become of me, had my parents validated my identity - a contract killer, maybe?

Scooby-doo

I used to have my hair in bunches so that was my ears, and I was desperate to solve mysteries and see ghosts!

Well Bernards at least you turned red which is surely a sign that your body was naturally aligning with your preferred identity.

Contract killer is a great profession! Travel, meeting people....

DD1 wanted to be a tree. DD2 wanted to be a nun.

An Olympian figure skater

My daughter has been insisting she is a cat for years. Not much changes apart from the colour of her fur. I once asked her what her face was like - we googled images and it was of that angry cat meme. That was unexpected.

I used to fantasise about being a hero and saving the day - Indiana Jones style. I used to also wish I could live with just me and the animals populating the planet. I also used to think I was meant to be black and only liked black dolls.

I identified as a spoilt pony who lived at her owner's boarding school with pony friends.

I was specifically a Welsh Pony. [Posh]

These days I try to identify as a spoilt housecat, but it's not working.

DSis identified as a diplodocus. For years, till she was about 7. My DD identified as a cat, she was most put out that I couldn't make her grow fur and a tail.

I identified as James Bond. God knows why! I had an inner narrative that would have horrified most of the people around me.

I was always just me - the idea of pretending to be anything else always seemed (and seems) terribly strange! DS1 is similar to me, but DS2 is constantly reimagining himself as everything in the world. When I came home earlier he was announcing that he was pregnant with a snake and also two pandas

I definitely identified as a dog. And even asked my priest if I could get to be a dog in heaven.

I was a squirrel for around 4 years. I had a favourite tree that I sat in lots.

Scooby-doo

I used to identify as a ghost in a spooky fairground. I would have got away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!

Baby from Dirty Dancing.

Dog, Princess, horse. Space adventurer. Julian from the Famous Five.

Various inanimate objects, including a tea leaf. Growing up in London, my mum was concerned this might be misconstrued (cockney rhyming slang) so she convinced me a coffee bean was a better choice.

I was a horse. My friend and I used to set up jumps in the garden which we would canter round.

Aspie I once found an article about a bloke who was arrested for impersonating a ghost.

An eagle. I spent hours making enormous wings out of garden cane and plastic bags, etc (very sadly, they never worked).

this bloke

The subheading heading is my favourite ever piece of journalism

I identified as a dog and spoke to our dog in what I imagined was dog language. But I didn’t tell anyone.

Now I understand that was because of the literal violence of my parents who thought I was human and called me Kristina.

DD identified as Postman Pat. We all had to be characters from Greendale, I was Rev Timms and Dh was Mrs Goggins. She didn’t like Ted Glen ( farmer ) because he had a trailer with hay bales and she was scared of straw. Now I realise this was an early sign that she was a lesbian.

A Diplodocus. That sadly came to an end when my mum caught me on all fours nibbling the tips of her spider plant (I was about five).

Are you my sister, MinesaBottle?! (Though i think it was a fern that got nibbled in our house.)

I was very insistent that I was a mouse for a while, a mouse with a boys name.

My eldest had a cool pseudonym she used for a bit, very flamboyant. My youngest refuses to use her name herself and if asked she is "baby".

Taking any of those things seriously is daft, but we always play along. Nobody told me I wasn't a mouse and if they did, I soon put them straight.... Until I let it go and moved on to something else.

Your stories are all so funny. I always imagined myself as a grown up, elegant, sophisticated, clever and beautiful woman who had men falling at her feet.

It didn't all quite happen.

My son wanted to be a ghostbuster and live in Castle Greyskull.