Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

WTF Teen Vogue?

106 replies

Badstyley · 08/11/2018 23:52

This is anal 101, for teens, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.

Fucking hell, anal sex for teens? When I was a teen bum sex was something only gay men did. I’m in a state of perpetual shock at just how porn soaked our society is and how horrible it must be for girls and young women.

Link below

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 09/11/2018 21:51

Exactly right, FermatsTheorum.

RJnomore1 · 09/11/2018 21:56

You're welcome kitty

wheezy2 · 09/11/2018 22:03

Thanks for the link rjnoone1

I would not wish fecal incontinence on anyone.

Ereshkigal · 09/11/2018 22:04

It might be distasteful but young people do do it and I'd rather they knew how to do it safely.

As you'll find if you read the thread, safety was something of an afterthought.

Datun · 09/11/2018 22:06

It might be distasteful but young people do do it and I'd rather they knew how to do it safely.

I'd rather put these young women knew how to refuse it safely. Given the coercion the boys admit to.

But hey, priorities.

SophoclesTheFox · 10/11/2018 07:45

Exactly, fermats.

What a low, low bar some people set for women's sexual enjoyment and autonomy if it's mostly about explaining how she can avoid pain and injury doing it.

I find that thinking particularly repellent and pernicious. My colourful gynae history means that there have been times that sex is painful and honestly impossible. I've had several gyneacologists explain to me to how to tolerate pain during sex, how to minimise pain during sex, one of whom went as far as to remind me forcefully that "your husband has needs, you know". But none of them ever once, not ever, talked about my pleasure. And when they meant sex, they meant penetrative sex. The question they routinely ask - "do you have pain having sex" - always means PIV sex. They mean "does your partner's penis hurt you?". Actually, due to adenomyosis, I had excruciating pain on orgasm, but none of them had the first fucking idea how to deal with that.

So fuck that. Fuck telling girls and young women that they ever have to tolerate pain in their sex lives. No.

I digress. But this stuff matters - how we talk to young people about sex, and set their expectations for pain and for pleasure matters.

Datun · 10/11/2018 08:21

SophoclesTheFox

Infuriating and depressing.

Framing women as props for a man's sex life. Pernicious and far to prevalent an attitude. Gynaecologists, ffs.

Flowers for you.

SophoclesTheFox · 10/11/2018 08:27

Mine is an all too common story, datun Sad

There's probably a whole new thread in it.

cockBlocker · 10/11/2018 09:00

When I've slept with a guy and he's asked for anal sex I've always said 'you first'. So far none of them have taken me up on it. I've done the same when a guy has suggested I go down on a woman, I sais I'd have to watch him get bummed first - again, no takers. THIS is what girls' magazines should be teaching them to do, not piling on the pressure even further and legitimising rapey men's demands. We live in a climate where sex has turned into women being props in men's porno driven fantasies, female pleasure not even on the list of priorities. If women want to do it, that's fine, but most don't and are already being pressured enough without this s* from a mag that's supposed to be for them, grooming them in their adolescence.

AngryAttackKittens · 10/11/2018 09:04

For a moment I thought they'd done another article trying to encourage tween girls to try anal, but this is the same one as before, which I suppose is some relief.

Notice that there's no clitoris on that diagram, because according to Teen Vogue sex is something vagina havers ought to do to Please Their Man.

Avegemitesandwich · 10/11/2018 09:06

What a low, low bar some people set for women's sexual enjoyment and autonomy if it's mostly about explaining how she can avoid pain and injury doing it.

Bloody hell, how true.

AngryAttackKittens · 10/11/2018 09:40

I've deployed the "you first, if you're so keen" line to great effect also. Not one has ever said "sure!", the response has always been "but that's different". At which point you make them try to explain why.

AngryAttackKittens · 10/11/2018 09:58

Which group is more irritating - poly evangelists, sex industry evangelists, anal sex evangelists? All seem congenitally incapable of accepting "but I just don't want to" as a response.

cockBlocker · 10/11/2018 10:09

AngryAttackKittens haha, bravo! Yes, it's a real game changer isn't it? I got that too 'it's different', which of course reveals it for the one way street entirely caught up with female humiliation for his pleasure that it actually is. I'm presuming we're both a bit older than those reading Teen Vogue though, fewer f*s given if we get told we're 'frigid' and the like in the face of male sexual entitlement.

cockBlocker · 10/11/2018 10:33

Also, no mention of how it will probably take the male partner 2 minutes to ejaculate, meaning the adolescent girl will literally get nothing out of this other than pain unless they are given a lot of other bodily stimulation (including that of the non-depicted clitoris).

Ereshkigal · 10/11/2018 10:34

That article has been edited and re released a few months ago. The original one was in 2017. I wonder what they changed? I don't remember them saying it was ok not to want to do it or read about it before.

Iused2BanOptimist · 10/11/2018 10:36

Well I have unequivocally taught my DD's that any man who asks for this isn't respectful and should be dumped forthwith. And told them to tell their friends. I remember a lecture on imperforate anus, (when a baby is born with anus either absent or not fully formed), the surgeon waxed lyrical on what a wonderful thing an anus is, it can contain solids, liquids and gas. Try doing that with your hands. Depending on the severity some babies may require a colostomy and their childhood may be blighted with surgical interventions. As I explained to DD's some unfortunate people would love nothing more than a fully functioning anus and the ability to control their toilet habits. So LOVE YOUR ANUS. Take care of it. Remember it's a one way street. Good luck to people out there who enjoy a bit of anal but no one will ever change my pov and I hope I've done my bit for the next generation standing up to this pernicious porn influenced coercive abuse.

Datun · 10/11/2018 10:40

I believe they've actually mentioned the clitoris this time. But still forgot to put it on the diagram.

They also left off condoms, before. Or added them after a Twitter spat/as an afterthought.

Mostly what I remember was a very disturbing thread throughout which maintained how you have to take it slowly, use loads of lube, you should be able to say stop when it hurts, etc but after every comment like that, then saying but it's fun, you'll like it, it's brilliant.

The overall impression was yes, it's painful, not great for women, but do it anyway because it's cool, boys like it and we love it.

Datun · 10/11/2018 10:43

I hope I've done my bit for the next generation standing up to this pernicious porn influenced coercive abuse.

Indeed. One of the popular porn searches is anal prolapse.

Abusing, humiliating and hurting women is real turn on for certain men.

AngryAttackKittens · 10/11/2018 10:51

My question is why the editor, who seems to be a gay man, cares so much about young women being willing to take it up the bum. It's not as if he would have the slightest interest in being the giver in that scenario, so why is he so invested in promoting anal to young girls that his response to the various issues with the article being pointed out was to throw a tantrum and accuse them of homophobia? The article is about het couples having sex, nothing to do with gay people.

AngryAttackKittens · 10/11/2018 10:51

Also, why is the editor of Teen Vogue a man in the first place?

Datun · 10/11/2018 10:59

Threw a tantrum and tried to shock the mums by posting a picture snogging his boyfriend and giving them the finger.

When all I thought was 'what a child'.

AngryAttackKittens · 10/11/2018 11:03

I don't care that he has a boyfriend. I do care that his magazine doesn't think it's important to mention the clitoris in an article about sex aimed at girls, and I think the failure to do so indicates that maybe it would be a good idea to have a female editor.

Datun · 10/11/2018 11:53

I agree. But given that last time mumsnet were accused of homophobia (even though no one had any idea who the editors were), I imagine that suggestion would met with accusations of sexism.

Avegemitesandwich · 10/11/2018 12:00

The narrative that women who are concerned about young girls being pressured into anal sex or any other sexual activity they might not be on board with, are homophobic, prejudiced and 'kink shamers' is really quite sinister.

Swipe left for the next trending thread