Exhausted and depressed by the power and misogyny of TRAs

[ConfessionsOfTeenageDramaQueen]

I can't understand how the TRA lobby has been able to hoodwink so many organisations so quickly and so forcefully.

It is madness to me: the emperor obviously has no clothes but almost everyone is pretending he has and everyone else is too scared to speak up and point out he hasn't even if they know it.

But I am exhausted by the mental energy it is taking to fight this, engage (especially in a calm and rational way so as not to scare people off) and generally keep pushing back.

My DH - while wholeheartedly agreeing with me - thinks it comes down to arguing with idiots on social media and I should take a step back but then I remember Karen White, Jess Bradley, Pips Bunce, and I realise this isn't an academic argument - it's real and it's impacting women in the real world - and I need to keep fighting.

I am trying to move my social media activism into real-world activism, first by peak-transing friends, but also by getting involved with protest, groups etc.

But I'm just so tired. And I can't see when/where this will end. It sort of all feels inevitable.

Just rambling... and wondering if anyone feels the same.

It's the same across media - so much freelancing and insecurity. No one stands up for anything except orthodoxy.

Och no don’t worry we will get through this shite.
We are strong and brave
And best of all we are women 💪💪

Once a state has made you lie, it can make you do anything against your will.
I believe that's a key strategy of the Putin regime. Strongly influenced by Vladislav Surkov and the principles of Theatre of the Absurd.

(from wikipedia) In 2013 Surkov was characterized by The Economist as the engineer of 'a system of make-believe', 'a land of imitation political parties, stage-managed media and fake social movements'. He is accused of "reducing Russian politics to nothing but "postmodernist theatre""

So that's reassuring

Totally agree OP. Feel quite down after talking about it all with DH again and him declaring it won't be that bad in the end and plans will be put in place to protect women from the worst case scenario . At least he's stopped telling me I'm small minded

Sensible calm arguments are not part of TV anymore. What gets attention is flashy theatre and so it’s a made for TV melodrama. Then the fact that T* is allowed uncritically as a slur which I find unbelievable. This is demonizing all women who are concerned, the total lack of critical thinking is quite amazing.

This ideology developed in universities and now children are being taught propaganda so there is a younger generation who have been hearing this uncritically for about 5 years at least.

I think the ideology has been very flexible absorbing and pushing further and further into what identifying as a woman means.

We MUST talk about BIOLOGY. We have an objective lived REALITY! We are not a subjective idea or gender!

Just had a huge row with my husband. He's always been 'yes dear' but he told me how much he hates to discuss it. Finds it distasteful. Obviously I told him how I would LOVE never to have to discuss it, but unfortunately the heightened possibility of our daughter being faced with a dick in her gym shower renders that a luxury I can't afford.

Charlie - Pretty much what's just happened here too.

I suspect that ordinary people who know the emperor is naked, won’t be filling out the consultation. It makes so little sense to them, they won’t feel the need.

And organisations are scared. And if you were facing a threat of prosecution from a group of men, or the potential future threat of prosecution from women, what would you do!

Solidarity, hairy. I will make my husband fill it out because he agrees with me but would not otherwise be bothered.

Some interesting points to consider.

Re whether he'd go out with a transman, I suspect he'd say he would if he found himself attracted to one although he probably wouldn't admit that the reality is he would never be attracted to one. He believes sexuality is a spectrum and although he never had a girlfriend has always had lots of very strong bordering on intimated female friendships, which is what I think would influence his answer.

Re the point about young gay boys being brainwashed into thinking they're trans, that's an interesting one to bring up with him actually, although I suspect his response will be cognitive dissonance.

Anyway, thanks for the replies on here. They're making me feel a wee bit better.

Funny enough a gay male friend has been one of the few people to 'like' some of the GC stuff I've shared on Facebook. Good luck confessions but don't feel too bad if your friend doesn't really get it- you will be getting through to others.

Me too OP. It is taking up a lot of my time and mental energy. I feel powerless at times. It's like a car crash I can't take my eyes off. If I stop looking and stop paying attention, it's all going to explode and I'll be caught out or feel like I did not do enough when called to action.

If those with power in politics, law, education, charities, the media indicated that they understood the conflict of rights of females and TW, and dangers to the safeguarding of children and the general fuck-wittery of allowing narcissistic bullies with no qualifications and a one-track agenda to rewrite language and policies that are undemocratic, then I might feel like I could take a step back and leave it in the hands of the experts.

When those people who should have the brains and clout to protect our rights are not exercising good judgement or taking action, I remain worried and angry.

Honestly, it's pretty much the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night.

I swing between exhilaration and despair. Some days I think I should step away from it, for my own peace of mind, but I just can't..... I can't NOT KNOW anymore.

So I keep checking in here, keep sending emails, keep trying to bring it up with more people. What else can I do? It's a fight that must be fought.

Well, I have just visted AN Other forum where some of this is being discussed and I actually can't post on there because I am shaking with anger at the blind wokeness. People who are trying to point out some of the issues and impacts are being slammed and piled on as transphobic bigots and "the usual suspects". By people who are no doubt decent but have their fingers in their ears and their settings set to naive.

I hope in a couple of years once the shit has inevitably hit the fan these people are proud of themselves when they see exactly how "kind" they really were being and what was actually going on. In the meantime, I am feeling pretty despairing as the fake narrative is really kicking in now.

I reckon the tactics being used to silence women now are the test run to be rolled out over a wide range of groups, over the next year, on this island.

So do I woman. Not just in the UK though.

Tinfoil hat stuff but - it seems that way. Happening on the right. Happening on the left.

Interesting to look back over last 40 odd years on these islands to see similar tactics used by the usual on the usual.

I don't know if anybody else feels this way, and I try very hard to be aware of not falling into paranoia, but I feel that this may be some kind of massive social engineering exercise. Things feel very fake and odd these days, as though everything is being undermined in a very deliberate and determined way. It is needed very Kafkaesque.

The bbc documentary 'secrets of silicon valley' talked about 'disruption ' - deliberate breakdown of social order so we can rebuild as a tech utopia. It's not available to watch on the bbc iplayer anymore but worth a watch if you can find it elsewhere.
I found it utterly chilling.

citiesofbismuth, have you watched or read any of Jenn Smith's stuff? He talks about conspiracies, and the fact that governments aren't stupid, so what exactly are they trying to achieve. It's fascinating (if scary, sinister stuff), and all too believable nowadays (unfortunately).

bluetits "disruption" is Steve Bannon's big focus and he made it into the White House. He may look like an unmade bed but he is a multimillionaire with friends in high places. His company was deeply involved in swinging the vote for Trump and Brexit via sophisticated computer analytics - by focusing on getting certain very specific groups to vote.

I feel the same way too at times. I'm exhausted by it all and it can feel so hopeless.

One of the best things to do IMO is to get off Twitter and Facebook. Don't engage in 'debates' with people, don't bother arguing with them. I'm still on social media but I only really use it for organising campaigning now, sharing materials to raise awareness and connecting with friends. Being on social media too much makes me feel depressed so I am putting all my energy into fighting this in the real world.

I'm a Fair Play volunteer and I've been doing a lot of campaigning in real life and once you get out there, it is a completely different world and that gives me hope. The real world is full of common sense, for one thing. 99% of people we have spoken to have no idea about what is going on and when told they are really shocked. A lot of people think it's utterly bizzare, a lot of people are absolutely horrified. No-one I, or other Fair Play volunteers have spoken to, actually believes that people can change sex or that men can be women, in any way. Everyone I have spoken to has told me that they don't want men in women's spaces, they don't want men in women's sports etc.

I think this is what we need to capitalise on. 82% of the general public do not support self-ID but I would say the number is as high as 99%.

Sometimes, I do feel hopeless. All the shutting down and silencing of women is horrible. Although we are raising awareness of the consultation I don't know how many people will actually complete it. I'm very worried they will be put off by all the jargon, the length. It's completely inaccessible to the general public. Most of the questions are unanswerable.

I've lost friends over this too, in particular one very good friend. However, I've also met new people and I've made new friends. I've met some amazing women and really seen the power of women coming together.

I really recommend connecting with people in real life. Start a local radfem group and just meet up to chat. I've made some great new friends. We are going to need other women in the years to come. I believe we need to make connections now, whilst we still can.

I hear you. Every day there’s yet another outrageous thing. And when you think it couldn’t get worse, it does. I feel permanently angry about this.

I tried to talk to my older sister but she didn’t really get it as firstly she assumed transwomen had had the surgery and importantly, she said that well if it was such a big deal as I was making it out to be, then surely it would be reported in the Guardian and on the BBC. How to tell her why it isn’t without sounding like a mad conspiracy theorist?!

What's happening now has some parallels to the 1970's - some of you are probably too young to remember this

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/looking-back-to-the-great-british-paedophile-infiltration-campaign-of-the-1970s-9155610.html

Some parts of the labour party were all too ready to accept arguements by paedophiles that what they wanted was 'normal'.