Child in my class is trans

[theresheis]

Looking for some advice. I'm a long time lurker and whilst I have read lots of the posts surrounding the issues of trans rights and consider myself firmly in the gender critical camp I am not fully up to speed with the current legal situation surrounding the trans debate.

I am a primary school teacher and I teach eight-year-olds. I have a boy in my class who at home is going by a girl's name, using female pronouns and wearing girl's clothes. This has not happened at all in school and he has not spoken to his peers about this. His mum spoke to me recently and said she had taken him to the GP. She is supporting him but seems to be not overly pushing it. She is a single mum and she is somebody who I would describe as vulnerable.

His mum now has another GP appointment next week without the boy. I am wondering whether the GP is likely to signpost a charity which will advocate a transition?

I would like to know where I stand as his class teacher if it comes to it am I required to call him she/her etc?

I would say that none of the staff in the school would be aware that all of these issues and broadly would support his transition.

I have told the head that I am not prepared to tell the rest of the class that he has become a girl or ever was a girl. He looked pretty shocked and said he would go away and research this issue. Where could I suggest he looks?

Sorry quite a long post! Hope I've posted in relevant section.

Steer well clear of Mermaids.

Trans Gender Trend´s objectives are along these lines & your can very easily find your self in disciplinary & legal trouble as a result.

Christ on a bike. Where do you get off threatening a teacher worrying about how to deal with a difficult issue in a child's best interest?

Claire Graham's comparison of Allsorts and Transgender Trend school toolkits: policy and legal perspective.

Correcting A Blindspot meeting, Leeds:

Although I have to say a simple question to ask yourself is would you treat a Disabled Child any differently than you should? Trans children have the very same rights protected in law. The law requires you to abide by these rights irrespective of your personal or religious views, very much so in Schools.

WPUK Sheffield:

'Professor Michele Moore is an expert in Inclusive Education and Disability Studies. She leads human rights projects across the world to support children, their families and those who work with them. She is the Co-Editor of the ground-breaking book Transgender Children and Young People, Born in Your Own Body from Cambridge Scholars. Michele will be discussing ideas from the book – the implications of self-declaration of gender for children and young people, including disabled children'

www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=ATNRbJW_JI8

Samantha lots of lovely people endorsed Kids Company too.

Until enough people worked out what was going on underneath the celeb/politician-endorsed veneer.

"Conversion therapy" - your use of that word makes me go straight to the meme you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means in the case of trans issues.

so you don´t accidentally find yourself in disciplinary & legal trouble as a result

The posters on this board are, in the main, independent thinking people, many have directly experienced manipulation from others in the past, or are highly attuned to recognising it in others.

So, although the 'we see you' phrase may be sometimes over-used, ' I see you' ! But thank you for your contribution. It's always good to hear from other perspectives.

Bingo time for red-button words

Buzz words:
Hate
Disabled
Law
Wrong side

(Waiting for suicide card to be played)

Worth reading the thread for context and background:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3384565-Good-news-from-the-National-Autistic-Society-regarding-Mermaids-Please-help?pg=1&order=

Thank you for the thoughtful replies. I have downloaded and read the pack from transgender trend this evening and plan to look at it again over the weekend when I have a little more time. I will also look at all of the other resources that you have all suggested. Thank you for the links, etc.

donquix and sceptical I entirely agree with both of you in your posts and also your points about respect and kindness and his well-being is of course absolutely paramount. Apologies if that wasn't obvious in my original post.

Great idea to discuss with SENCO and safeguard lead.

At the moment nothing has actually come up in school at all but I am anticipating it and suggested to the head that we need to be already prepared for the possibility. I'm really pleased to have something to give the headteacher to read.

There is a boy in DS school, also 8, who started at playgroup as a boy (aged 2) but whose mother started dressing him as a girl by the time he was 3. It's a small village so the children have grown up together. Everyone still calls him 'he'. He still uses his male name but apparently wants to be a girl. Only he hangs out with the boys and plays stereotypical boy games. He's also unpredictable, violent, and aggressive.
It's all a mess, quite frankly. At 3 my DS wanted to be a cat but I didn't start feeding him Whiskas.
Said child attacked another boy in the class only yesterday, biting him badly enough to draw blood and pull a chunk of skin off his hand. And all because the other children don't want to play with him. They don't want to play with him as he threatens them if they don't go along with his plans.
Plans being things like throwing his scooter down the church steps and videoing it on his tablet He called for DS on Sunday but I didn't answer the door (DS doesn't want to play with him either) and said child punched our car as he walked back down the drive.
That's just the half of it. I've nearly posted about him many times.

Hi Pombear,

Kids company do, do great work, but they are very much not a charity with direct & specialised expertise on paediatric Gender Dysphoria.

I equally also hope they sorted out the the problems they encountered and are out the other side & learned the needed lessons from such.

Its the right & best thing, within organisations such as that to always refer people on to specialised registered charities for specific help, advice & support anyway.

Ekphrasis I definitely agree about Mum needing more support but assume it isn't my place to make suggestions. I wondered whether the GP will direct her and wondered whether if they do it would be a neutral resource.

Kids company do, do great work, but they are very much not a charity with direct & specialised expertise on paediatric Gender Dysphoria. I equally also hope they sorted out the the problems they encountered and are out the other side & learned the needed lessons from such

Errr no they really haven’t and I don’t think we’ll see them out the other side which is sort of the point being made...

You need to advise your school to keep clear of any advice provided by the charity Mermaids.

SamanthaHamer

Kids Company ceased operating in 2015 after an enormous scandal.

You have posted incorrect statements about Transgender Trend which you are not prepared to back up with links and quotes.

You don't appear to be very well informed. With your level of understanding it seems unwise for you to comment on the operation of the various organisations.

I don't want to derail any further and theresheis really glad you've got some pointers on this thread for a sensitive issue.

So last post on this thread, hi Samantha you haven't a clue what you're talking about, have you, with your evident lack of knowledge about the history of the Kids Company car crash?

If you really were concerned about children, rather than your need to validate yourself as an adult male who wishes to identify as female, you'd know the history here.

Kids Company are not currently doing 'good work'. For very good reasons.

There's a piece in the new edition of the Spectator from a Scottish teacher, expressing her disquiet at the training she received about trans issues. Would be worth a read when you get the chance (I'll share when I work out how to on my ne phone)

Sigh. OP, you've done safeguarding training, you likely refresh it frequently (certainly if my INSET days are anything to go by!). Test everything you read against that, particularly when it comes to liaising with parents and whether staff should promise to keep a child's disclosure from responsible adults. Test the assertions of advice against the law (seperate-sex toilet and washing facilities for over-8s being key), and what you know about the rights of girls to privacy and dignity, particularly those entering puberty. Test all of this against the fact that around 80% of children desist and are ok with themselves as they grow up; understand that gender confusion is frequently co-morbid with mental health issues and SEN.

It will quickly become apparent which path protects all children, and which railroads "acceptance" at the cost of everyone else with scant regard for anything else in the child's life.

Link to the Spectator article:

www.spectator.co.uk/2018/10/dont-tell-the-parents-official-guidance-to-teachers-of-trans-children/

Oh FFS, I did say I was leaving, but someone's just pointed me to this:

Samantha on twitter referring to this thread:
Quite frankly, the whole thread has become utterly scary no matter what I say& all the more scary for what this person calming to be a teacher could do the the single mother & child lives. Social Services can be so very Transphobic

Samantha, you're a grown human being. Please tell us what is 'scary' here.

Scary?

Transgender Trend pack acknowledges that children often question society's stereotypical 'gender' boxes, and advises care and support. Not Mermaid's speedy 'conversion' to a pretence of the other sex stereotypes.

I dread to think what constitutes as 'scary' in your world view. I suspect breathing constitutes as transphobic if it's not breathing the right way according to you.

I have told the head that I am not prepared to tell the rest of the class that he has become a girl or ever was a girl.

Well done for that, OP.
I hope the boy can be encouraged to wear whatever he likes etc, while still being a boy.

Hi OP. Sounds like you're going to do well and support the child and mother fully.

I've not read the transgender trend pack so apologies if I'm repeating something they said bit you could do the girls stuff, boys stuff game. Basically small teams (individual works but not the same discussions) of is A for boys or girls, is B etc. At the end reveal that all things are for both and discuss why people think something is only for one or the other. Good to do it with jobs too -mechanic, engineer, nurse etc.

Can't believe the gall of that mermaids or court threat ffs!

Oh Pombear, the shear level of dangerous misinformation & untruths, that are likely to get both a teachers & school in trouble. Utterly NO ´Conversion" happens to children in the UK & nor do Mermaids support or condone this, they are totally in line with international accepted standards of care for gender dysphoric children. If both specialised medical professionals, parents & children feel they are a point they might feel "Blockers" would be beneficial they can be an option. They however convert nothing, they just pause puberty & are wholly reversible.

The Sunday Times had to do a u-turn for spreading lies like this & more
twitter.com/Mermaids_Gender/status/1047581352311369730