Child in my class is trans

[theresheis]

Looking for some advice. I'm a long time lurker and whilst I have read lots of the posts surrounding the issues of trans rights and consider myself firmly in the gender critical camp I am not fully up to speed with the current legal situation surrounding the trans debate.

I am a primary school teacher and I teach eight-year-olds. I have a boy in my class who at home is going by a girl's name, using female pronouns and wearing girl's clothes. This has not happened at all in school and he has not spoken to his peers about this. His mum spoke to me recently and said she had taken him to the GP. She is supporting him but seems to be not overly pushing it. She is a single mum and she is somebody who I would describe as vulnerable.

His mum now has another GP appointment next week without the boy. I am wondering whether the GP is likely to signpost a charity which will advocate a transition?

I would like to know where I stand as his class teacher if it comes to it am I required to call him she/her etc?

I would say that none of the staff in the school would be aware that all of these issues and broadly would support his transition.

I have told the head that I am not prepared to tell the rest of the class that he has become a girl or ever was a girl. He looked pretty shocked and said he would go away and research this issue. Where could I suggest he looks?

Sorry quite a long post! Hope I've posted in relevant section.

Which equally leads me to needing strong LGBT+ government approved standards, materials & guidance, within a education setting, that treats all maturely & responsibly (further bolstering the Equality Act) & makes sure divisive fearful propaganda has utterly no place in our schools in the first place.

Maybe in another lesson, the OP could talk about some age-appropriate version of the Scientific Method where ideas and theories are required to go though a process of healthy debate before being taken as gospel? Maybe get a class gerbil which "just happens" to be pregnant and then you could casually mention that only females give birth? You could toss pink and blue toys into the gerbils cage, see what it prefers and then ask the nearby kids quite casually if that preference has any bearing on it's ability to give birth? Maybe read them the book "The Emperors New Clothes"?

The only thing the schools are teaching right now is "nice = participating in Johnny's fantasy" and at the same time "reality = mean". It's completely insane to just go passively along with teaching political dogma controlled by special interest groups when there's all kinds of ways to get one's point across without breaking any rules. I am counting on you gc mumsnetters to think of some better ideas!

Samantha: I write and review medical papers for a living. You blatantly have no idea what you're talking about.

I have no idea why you are spamming this thread with chapter and verse on medical intervention in children, samantha, when the question at issue is how can this teacher best be prepared to support not just this child, but all children in her care should that child prove to have gender dysphoria. The child has not been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. You're jumping the gun in exactly the way that people find so troubling. Boy likes dresses? Get him on blockers!

Even if the child does have dysphoria, and does go on to some medical intervention, why on earth would that involve the OP? Her role here is pastoral care in the context of her job, which she is here asking about, in order that she can prepare for all eventualities, the vastly most likely of which is that this child will grow out of the gender non-conformity (more than 80% of children do).

Incidentally, I have been on the drugs you so casually recommend. I still suffer with the consequences, years later. I would never give them to a child suffering from conflicted feelings about their body.

And I am a lifelong lefty atheist. Please stop misrepresenting gender critical women.

OP, good luck with the resources. I wish more teachers felt able to stand up to the pressure and keep the safeguarding of all their charges in mind as you're doing

Just presenting facts & reply to question & request best I can, equally debating the issues that are used to influence & misinform Teachers etc making the correct & legally correct decision in the best interests of their pupils.

Some interesting & importing research, where the very staunchly misogynistic far right Trump. Bannon et al, is driving this misformation directed at equally Trans Children & Parents & those in contact with them in positions of responsibility. It´s also being used to dupe & co-op feminists...

www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2017/10/23/christian-right-tips-fight-transgender-rights-separate-t-lgb

You are not answering the question that was asked. You have used it as a springboard to talk about what you want to talk about, none of which is relevant to the OP.

Feminists are not coming at this from a position of being anti-LGBT. We are coming at it from a position of being pro-woman. It's clear that you have no understanding of that.

In fact, transing gender non-conforming children is about as homophobic as it gets, considering the likelihood that they may grow up to be gay or lesbian. And clinging to regressive gender stereotypes about male and female brains is very much of a piece with religiously-driven ideals of correct behaviour for men and women.

So, samantha, why are you so homophobic and sexist and why are you supporting such a right wing ideology?

I just dont agree when people use religion as an excuse to deliberately negatively impact on peoples lives´& break the fair law put in place for a reason, etc, etc

Not quite on topic, but a lot of religions do not permit unrelated men and women to undress in the same place and I do not see any transgender activists giving a shit about the profound effect their actions are having on members of religious communities. So please do not spout nonsense that you yourself do not believe for a second.

I don’t have any religion but I do have a child with serious health condition and am currently living in a ‘Ronald McDonald House’ alongside the parents of 59 other sick children.

Any organisation that actively lobbys for medicalising children with healthy bodies in a way that will make them drug-dependent patients for life is morally and unethically unacceptable.

That’s what Mermaids do.

Although I have to say a simple question to ask yourself is would you treat a Disabled Child any differently than you should? Trans children have the very same rights protected in law

But the whole point is Sammantha that this child may not be trans. All the research shows children should not be put on the path of transition at such a young age.

You’d have to be living under a rock to not know Kids Company had been closed down by the authorities and shows how badly informed you are.

OP you sound eminently sensible. The child is lucky to have you as his teacher.

powerless sorry to clarify it is not the fact that she is a single Mum which makes me consider her vulnerable. There are many wider issues with the family (not related to trans issues in any way) that I wouldn't want to discuss on this thread. I just wanted to get across that she would not have good support elsewhere and that school would be key for her in terms of support.

I'm definitely keen to adopt a cautious approach. I am not about to ignore the boy's emotional needs and intend to handle anything with sensitivity and caution should it arise.

I agree with all posters who have suggested conversations around gender that don't link directly to him. We already do cover this stuff in PSHE but it currently doesn't come up until term 6 in my planning.

I do always point out that there is no such things as boys and girls books/toys/colours/sports etc instead there are just children's books/toys/interests. You'd be surprised how often you need to challenge that idea with children!

thersheis
Glad that you've managed to find some useful information. As you can see, there are some so desperate to promote this 'cause' that the needs of children (both an individual and a whole school) are always ignored. Someone asked upthread about what to say to other children about consent and boundaries.
If the school is able to arrange for access to suitable mixed sex toilets and a discrete changing arrangement for PE that allows the trans child to change in private, then hopefully there'd be no need to address the issue in relation to the child. We must ensure that individual children are not caught up in these debates. If schools plan in advance how they'd manage the issues re a transgender child then if / when it happens they can say 'oh this is where the gender neutral toilet is and PE changing happens here'.
Although activists focus on how girls need to be re educated out of their transphobic fear of a penis, the reality is that the trans child is likely to be anxious and self conscious so privacy for them may well be a relief. And that way both sexes get to maintain the privacy, dignity and safety that sex segregated facilities enable.

A bit off topic but:

do always point out that there is no such things as boys and girls books/toys/colours/sports etc instead there are just children's books/toys/interests. You'd be surprised how often you need to challenge that idea with children!

Very true. I almost fell off my chair, when my 8 year old niece insisted, there are in fact things like toys for girls only and toys for boys only. (I had complained about this artificial seperation in catalogues where you have pink and blue pages with toys). Her mom was actually quite embarrassed her daughter held that view - didn't come from her. But, heck, our whole current culture screams it. Nothing like my childhood in the 70's & 80's.

Sorry everyone, that was my question (which wasn’t answered by that paper) that derailed things earlier. OP I hope you were able to find some helpful advice amongst all the nonsense.

I just dont agree when people use religion as an excuse to deliberately negatively impact on peoples lives´& break the fair law put in place for a reason, etc, etc

Trans activism is a religion. It asks you to believe that you a have a soul born into the wrong body.

As a teacher, you will probably be given guidance from your HT as to exactly how they expect this to be managed, there will be meetings about it and you will (IME with other pupils e.g. ones with health/brhaviour/SEN issues) be told what your role in this will be, whether you agree with it or not.

If I knew I had a pupil who was going to transition (and in almost 20 years of teaching, I've never had a tg pupil), my main focus would be on making sure my class knew, in no uncertain terms, that any kind of bullying/name calling would not be tolerated. I would be doing work on how it was ok for people to dress/wear their hair with how they felt comfortable and that it's not ok to have a go at someone because of it. I'd do some general work on gender stereotypes and how toys/clothes are advertised etc. I would make sure this pupil knew they could talk to me. What I wouldn't do would be agree to them using the same changing rooms as the girls, the girls have a right to privacy when they're getting changed, and in almost all classes I've taught there have been girls who would not be allowed to use the same changing room as a boy for religious reasons.

amen to that Keeptrudging

strikes a healthy balance between the right of your pupils not to be bullied at school and the right of your pupils to privacy, dignity and safety

I don’t have any religion but I do have a child with serious health condition and am currently living in a ‘Ronald McDonald House’ alongside the parents of 59 other sick children

Betty

so sorry to hear that

and YY to your comments about mermaids

I've just watched this wonderful video from a Woman's Place meeting - Professor Michele Moore speaks from decades of research, particularly in inclusive education for children with disabilities. She makes some important points about what people with disabilities have consistently said over that period: that their disabilities are not a problem with their bodies, but a social problem. Prof. Moore makes this point very strongly towards the end of her talk here (at around 13:30):

I found the parallels between disability activism, and resistance to 'transing' children to be particularly powerful.

You could find the book that Professor Moore co-edited with Stephanie Davies-Arai, which is a collection of essays with a mix of scientific (quantitative) research and sociological research.

@ohello

I’ve read you posts and it’s comes back to that us being ‘nice’. I’m so mad at myself. Time to point the finger back and tell them they not being nice.

Betty

Samatha Hamer

Why are you threatening the OP with disciplinary and legal trouble is she doesn't subscribe to Mermaid's strange idea about children?

They are not legal advisors, why are you presenting them as if they are?

My apologies to the OP for allowing myself to get drawn into the derail last night. I thought it was important to point out the flaws in Samantha's argument.

So, this is a child who uses a girl's name at home, and whose mother is cautiously wondering if he's transgender.

In 20-ish years of parenting, I have variously wondered if my children had:
Broken limbs (three times right, often wrong)
Appendicitis (once right, once wrong)
Asperger's syndrome (yes)
ADHD (no)
OCD (yes)
and indeed, prompted by a GP, we did consider gender dysphoria as a possibility (no)

My point is that raising a possibility doesn't make something automatically true.