"I'm not leaving till you smile".

[MsFenellaFielding]

I work alone in a small shop and we have a number of regulars. One of them can be rude/suggestive. I can deal with him usually by cutting him dead or just repeating back to him what he has said to me with a WTF look. I do not engage apart from to be polite and brisk.

Just before I closed today I had a call giving me some bad news. Unfortunately, by the time I turned back to the counter the man above was there waiting to be served. He was all "Come on, where's my smile" etc etc. I told him I had some news, was upset and asked what he wanted. He went on saying "Not telling till you smile" "Not leaving till you s mile" etc etc. I just kept asking what he wanted. Finally he told me so while making it he kept on with the comments.

Ashamed to say by now I had bloody tears dripping down my face and his final comment was "should have fucking smiled. Telling your bosses what a bitch you are".

Any help in dealing with this man day-to-day and also when I speak with my bosses. TIA.

Hate those 'give us a smile' bastards. I have a resting bitch face of sorts and used to get it all the bloody time when walking to work etc.

Hope your bosses are nice people and sort the fucker out!

'I do think the bosses will be firmly on my side and am hoping a ban will happen'

I bloody hope so. What a complete and utter creep. I hope your bosses back you up. I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a scumbag

Fingers crossed all goes well Fenella. I'm not far of you in age and I understand how vulnerable it feels as an older (not that we are in reality just societal expectations) woman. I suspect the boss will have your back. There's a reason he hired you. Have faith xx

I would discuss the lone worker policy with your boss, specifically what action you should take if this man or another even more aggressive man does similar again. Do they need to make any changes to keep you safe etc etc.

So sorry that this waste of space was so vile to you, no one should have to put up with that especially whilst just getting on with your job.

Good luck with the phone call OP. Stand strong for all of us

I hope the conversation with your boss went well, @MsFennellaFielding, and that you're feeling easier.

Have spoken to both and they agree to a ban. Just need to work out how but am pleased they listened.

Also, thank you all .

Oh that's great, glad they were supportive.

I'm so pleased to hear that.

So glad this ended with the bosses being reasonable! Customer is a shithead.

Really pleased that they agree with banning him. So sorry you had to go through this

Oh good, glad they were supportive.

Good. I wonder if you and the bosses can explain the situation to the local police so they could be primed to come and know the score if he turns up and won't leave. I don't know if this sort of pre emptive discussion is something police can do? Any cops on this board?

Am seeing one boss tomorrow and will mention that Power.

Once again, thank you.

Am now off to think about the other stuff in the bath. I have a nice glass of wine to accompany me.

I've lurked and read this board for quite a while and have learned so much.

Oh fuck, I think I may be finding a more assertive voice .

I'm so sorry that you went through that awful experience. What an areshole that customer is. Vile. I'm so pleased that your employer supported you.

Hope you're coping with the aftermath of this experience and that you have the right support to stay safe in the future.

I'm really sorry that happened to you, MsFenella.

I'm glad the bosses have taken it seriously. Don't be down on yourself. You were brave to report him to the bosses. This is a good outcome.

Sorry for your shitty experience. I hope the bath helps. What an utter pratbadger of a human being. Hope he has all bad things happen. Xx

Sorry you had to deal with this on top of bad news.

Demands to smile remind me of this sketch

Think like a pub owner. Banned man walks in. You point to the door, look him in the eye and say "You are barred! Go on, bugger off!". No matter what he says just repeat this on a loop or totally ignore him. It will be tremendously empowering.

Love Random Man's advice .

CottonTail Will do .

This is brilliant.

Now that bath is waiting. Thank you all.

Yes, the enforcing of it will be a tricky one. When I've worked in public roles and we've had to deal with violent/dodgy clients, there have always been other people around who have taken over.

Off the top of my head - what about the bosses printing a letter from the business on headed paper, stating clearly that he is banned and won't be served. That the management reserves the right to refuse anyone who harrasses or abuses their staff, and are exercising it. And maybe that police have been informed of the situation, or something similar?

Then when he comes in you can hand it to him and don't have to talk to him at all? Just ignore him. If he makes the slightest fuss, call the police.

Enjoy your bath!

op

sorry about your shit day

ban that fucker

I have thought voodoo thoughts really hard at the man and delivered a kick in the balls.

Not really but I wish I could.

He's scum. Absolute scum. The usual give us a smile wankers don't press if you say you've had bad news. He knows you as well. You told him you were upset, he went on til you cried then be swore at you. He's a grade a abusive piece of shit.

Glad your bosses have banned, agree with others you need to talk to them about how it works in practice.

Hope you feel better xx