Playground sex assaults ‘are becoming an epidemic’

[SanctimoniousMorph]

www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/playground-sex-assaults-are-becoming-an-epidemic-wcxh63tll

I'm not so sure about single sex schools. It may be ok for the years when they are in school but it doesn't prepare either sex for when they leave school and have to deal with the other sex.
I'd worry that the boys would have less 'normal' experience of females and be even more influenced by what they see on the internet.

However, as a teacher I have seen this trend over the last 10 years and agree it is very worrying. I think the problem with watching porn needs to be dealt with. Girls in some ways seem less able to deal with the boys and seem to write it off as 'banter' or 'flirting' whereas when i was young we would have given them a slap (growing up in 70's and 80's) . I think its being normalised for both sexes and its very worrying.

This article seems to have been rewritten/expanded today under the title “Boy rapists expect girls to cry during sex”

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/boy-rapists-expect-girls-to-cry-during-sex-says-activist-7z7r06lqr?shareToken=8928bcad36be3bf2a2fb5a2b2277ada5

For me a very concerning line (obvs whole things is beyond worrying) is rape victims were being put back into classrooms with their attackers because schools were not given guidance telling them that this should not be done. Who needs telling not to force rape victims to be made to spend time with their rapist?

My next thought was who is David Sanderson and why is an arts correspondent reporting on this, then I realised it is a report of Laura Bate’s speaking at the Edinburgh Book Festival.

Thanks for posting the whole article.

That is truely horrific.... 600 reported rapes in school a year?!!!!!??? And that is just the reported ones.

Why isn’t EVERYONE talking about this?! Why aren’t the media all over it and demanding the department of education taking immediate steps to address this?

And most importantly WHY aren’t these teenage sex offenders being punished? Why are they back in school like nothing happened?

I also don’t buy that “crying is foreplay” BS. Even toddlers understand innatley that someone crying means they are upset. My 3.5 year old DD always says “mummy why are they crying? Do they feel sad?”

This is about male entitlement. Through socialisation from birth.

I can absolutely understand the reasons for wanting to keep schools sex segregated. I will definitely consider it for my DD when she reaches secondary school age.

The trouble is that although it may protect teenage girls from the risk of assault from teenage boys at school, it doesn’t teach boys how to interact appropriately with females. I can imagine that all boys schools are breeding grounds for increasing levels of misogyny and hyper male culture and without females around to counteract the dehumanising beliefs that males seem to hold towards females I can see how it might make the situation worse once these young men enter adulthood without the “pratice” of mixed-sex adolescent interactions.

It’s a problem that requires a multifaceted solution.

Beginning with parents and how they socialise their babies and toddlers. Teaching them about appropriate boundaries/sharing/taking turns etc

Then during primary school exploring themes of consent, bodily autonomy, friendships and early sex education

Then at secondary through all of the above and with an emphasis on relationships. What equal and respectful relationships look like.

I also think ALL schools should implement a zero tolerance policy on mobile phones. No phones allowed in school at all and any phones found to be confiscated at the start of the day and given back at home time.

Namechangedtotellmystory

I had a similar experience at secondary school, but on a daily basis. I had to share the back seat of a taxi home with 3 boys who had 6 hands between them. One would hold me down while the other two shoved their hands into my bra, knickers etc. The male taxi driver laughed at them as he watched in the mirror. It started when I was around 14/15.

This was in the mid-70s.

Just realised it’s 600 in 3 years - that’s still horrific

Very interesting and related links

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/09/sexual-violence-india-rape-pornography

fightthenewdrug.org/a-heartbreaking-look-inside-a-uk-porn-recovery-center/

fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/

fightthenewdrug.org/does-porn-really-decrease-rates-of-sexual-assault/

Similarly why in hell do school teachers, supposedly intelligent people who are supposedly highly vetted, need 'rules' or 'guidelines' to tell them not to put known rape victims in the same class as their known rapists?

Quite. But I don't even think this is new. Even in primary school (back in the 70s) I remember sexual groping and touching from boys, which was utterly ignored by teachers or put down to children messing around. And in secondary school it was even worse. There is a very lazy attitude amongst some teachers of "six of one, half a dozen of the other" or "children will be children" or "girls are egging the boys on" etc.

I remember being convinced in to “sex” with 2 pupils (different times) in primary school. I had no idea what I was actually doing.

You’re only just starting to hear about it but it isn’t something new.

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/8/e004996

BMJ article from 2014

Results Anal heterosex often appeared to be painful, risky and coercive, particularly for women. Interviewees frequently cited pornography as the ‘explanation’ for anal sex, yet their accounts revealed a complex context with availability of pornography being only one element. Other key elements included competition between men; the claim that ‘people must like it if they do it’ (made alongside the seemingly contradictory expectation that it will be painful for women); and, crucially, normalisation of coercion and ‘accidental’ penetration. It seemed that men were expected to persuade or coerce reluctant partners.

Conclusions Young people's narratives normalised coercive, painful and unsafe anal heterosex. This study suggests an urgent need for harm reduction efforts targeting anal sex to help encourage discussion about mutuality and consent, reduce risky and painful techniques and challenge views that normalise coercion.

(Late 90s btw)

I worked in a Primary school a few years back, where a Year 3 boy (yes aged 7/8) had girls the same age feeling each other up for his enjoyment, as well as touching them up himself. 2 of the girls came and told me, and I was horrified to learn that it had been going in the classroom, during teaching time, as well as at other times ( ICT being prime time, you can't see what all the children are doing).

I did all the necessary reporting, parents and SS were contacted, the boy was referred to the CAHMS, ( he was the youngest of several brothers, 2 of whom had acted similarly at school) but nothing was done for the girls.
I knew about it, the class teacher knew about it, obviously the safeguarding lead, but no other staff did. So that meant in any other lessons, or with any other teachers,( eg PE, supply, playground supervisiors) those children could have been, and were, put next to each other. It didn't help that that the girls all really liked this boy, and wanted to play with him. They were told not to, but
that didn't stop them, and really he needed 1:1 supervision at all times to stop him abusing the girls.
I told other members of staff individually if I could see they were going to be looking after that class, but SLT didn't warn everybody. I pointed out that anyone taking responsibility needed to know, but they didn't take any steps to deal with that.
I was left quite appalled at how unsupported these girls were, and how insufficient steps were taken to to ensure it couldn't happen again. Other staff members were upset when I told them informally that SLT hadn't seen fit to warn them.

I think I would be sending any female children of mine to a girls school.

So my point is, that in a secondary school in particular, it's very unlikely that most members of staff would actually be told about sexual assault or rape.

So yes, they may well place a girl next to her abuser - each teacher has their own seating plans, which they change fairly frequently, so chances of it happeneing randomly are quite high.

If it's your daughter who's been attacked, be very clear about the steps being taken to protect her before sending her back to school.

I think sex education needs to get a lot more into the ethics of porn, consent and some of the physiological consequences of watching porn on boys

Young people will watch it, penalizing parents won't help. Telling boys they run the risk of developing ED and not being able to enjoy actual sex seems like it might be more effective.

I think porn and porn inspired sex acts should be treated as a public health issue.

As well as ED for boys there are the consequent MH issues for both sexes and physical damage from rough and anal sex.

I hate porn.

The website yourbrainonporn.com has some good info and stories

My daughter is just going into year 1. We were called in recently about a boy keeping lifting her dress up in the yard and touching her..these kids are 5. The teacher kept saying that kids are just curious and such, and that boys are worse and yes 'boys will be boys' and then finally..said maybe the issue would be solved if we sent DD in in trousers instead. that was an interesting conversation/argument, DH had to calm me down a few times as I kept almost shouting at the teacher. Seems boys are enabled from a very young age, and i think while yes, curiosity is normal, there may be something going on at home for boy to be so..sexual at such a young age. But apparently there are no concerns and the girls should modify their behaviour to avoid his behaviour.

Obviously this^ is not quite on a level with rape and serious assaults, but I have a feeling this lad will end up going much worse than just lifting dresses and attempting groping. It breaks my heart that girls have to put up with this, and are almost blamed by the teachers.
Also, luckily, this lad is going to a different school after the holidays. Luckily for my daughter and girls in her school, unluckily for girls in the school hes going to. Hopefully the teachers are better equipped to deal with him, where he ends up, as the ones at DDs school seem horrendous

I'm not so sure about single sex schools. It may be ok for the years when they are in school but it doesn't prepare either sex for when they leave school and have to deal with the other sex

Do boys and girls not mix and interact outside of school? Ive known plenty of people who’ve been educated in single sex schools and not one of them has any issue dealing with the be opposite sex. What a bizarre thing to think.

It’s not bizarre. In my experience of going to a mixed comprehensive as girls putting up with misogynistic nonsense from boys was part of daily life (unfortunately). You developed a sort of resigned indifference towards the boys.

The girls I knew from all girls school were “boy obsessed” and always went further with boys at parties and loved the misogynistic attention in a way that the girls from the mixed comp did not.

The young men and women I met at university who had attended rich single sex private schools and grammar schools (The uni I went to was rated 7 in the league tables at that point so had a high proportion of private school students) again had much more difficulty interacting appropriately with the opposite sex.

Misogynistic attitudes and pornography was rife amongst the young men and the girls seemed almost flattered and desperate for the attention. Same with alcohol consumption- they used to ask me why I didn’t drink myself into a stupor like they did.

“Because I got all of that out my system when I was 15” I replied - along with having learnt that boys just weren’t all that. I was more interested in my actual degree course by then.

Having said that, I would still consider an all girls school for my Dd when she is secondary school aged.

The misogynistic crap that we put up with was mainly in the form of comments and bra strap pinging. This was school in the 90s so pre mobile phones and internet.

The world has changed now and I don’t really want my DD mixing with boys who regularly watch violent pornography and think upskirting with their camera phones is no big deal. And with the whole current trans ideology being forced to share changing rooms and toilets at school because of “right on” policies.

She’s only 3.5 years old though so obviously things maybe better or worse by then.....

I think there's a big difference between boarding schools and day schools. I went to an all girls' comprehensive and loved it. I still socialised in mixed sex groups outside school.

So your attitude is that it’s best for the girls to get used to being treated like shit from an early age?

Misogynistic attitudes and pornography was rife amongst the young men and the girls seemed almost flattered and desperate for the attention. Same with alcohol consumption- they used to ask me why I didn’t drink myself into a stupor like they did

^ how is that any different to the attitudes of those who attend mixed sex? We wouldn’t be having this rape culture in schools if what you suggest is remotely true.

Cannot belive that even on a thread about female children being raped in schools that people are suggesting girls should keep being put in the path of physical harm just so boys don’t suffer.

Sadly I'm another who experienced multiple 'minor' assaults at school, starting from the day in Y6 when two of the boys pulled me into the boys changing room after a swimming lesson and ripped my towel off me. I was one of the only girls who had started developing, and they wanted to see my breasts. When I finally got out of there, after standing naked and crying in front of all the boys in my class, I got in trouble for having been in the boys changing room. They were not punished.

There were so many incidents through secondary school. It was considered completely normal. There was one teacher who started when I was in Y11 that would actively punish boys for this sort of behaviour, but even that was along the lines of a detention.

I wish I could say I was surprised by this report. Saddened, yes, but not surprised.

If a boy commits a sexual assault on a fellow pupil, why is he not expelled?

If a boy commits rape on a fellow pupil, why is he not in court, convicted and incarcerated in an appropriate institution?

All this talk about putting this boy back in the same classroom as his victim simply begs the question as to why he is still in the school at all.

I do not recognise this situation from my DCs school though. Maybe I am being naive? I have 2 DSs. One at secondary due to start y9 which I guess is when this will get more serious and one due to start this September.

I have talked to them both about porn, trafficking and prostitution, and consent and enjoyment.

Laura Bates has done tremendous work.

And rapists being sat next to their victims across the country is mind boggling. Surely rape is a serious crime and they’d be excluded?! it’s basic safeguarding.

I went to a single sex school and I don’t think that is the answer, it just causes more division and othering. Tackling this behaviour and educating people is the answer.

Beyond horrific. Dark days if the government can’t get a grip on this quickly.