Womanfest, except it's not

[pachyderm]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/30/women-fest-first-man-free-festival-sisterhood-song

"All women are welcome at the festival, says Jacout, including transgender women and pre-operative individuals. "We're also happy to have non-binary people provided they have a vagina; but not non-binary people with a penis, because we have to draw the line somewhere"

What line? You've just said "pre-operative individuals" ffs! I'm so tired of this.

@UpstartCrow

I'm coming to your festival sounds way better. Can we smuggle in booze and watch you?

Did I mention I make lovely organic, vegan, gluten free broccoli water cocktails? Fanny condensation really adds a certain je ne sais quoi.

I'm sure some of you will have been as distressed as I was when the verb "to medal" crept into sports coverage but Women Fest take it to another league.

It is our huge honour to have the amazing Kayla Wexelberg of Taste your Roots coming to Head Chef in our Community Kitchen!

Kayla has cooked all over the world, her passion being reintroducing the local food to it's history, mythology and medicinal qualities with modern delicious twists

Focused on high vibration nourishment at all times. Yes! A cooking school in a festival! Imagine someone in a tutu teaching you about sprouting

Food - WOMAN FEST
www.womanfest.co.uk/food.html

How can anyone write this guff with a straight face?

Actually I gone through that whole website and am convinced they just trolling The guardian
Otherwise .......

Most of those activities sound like occupational therapy. Never mind having to pay £200 for the pleasure, then having to lead the class.

Except vibrating food; I believe that is where the raw food cult movement (who believe that cooked food is poison) meets, and you you cannot make this shit up, New Age spiritualism.

The grammar! The whole site is making my teeth itch. How far is it possible to get away from Frome when this is happening?

@TheTroutofNoCraic you've just ruined it.

Me and my smuggled booze will be taking ourselves elsewhere.

gendercritter
you need The Opposite Side of the World calculator! Unfortunately its a hundred miles off the coast of New Zealand, which is inconvenient.

www.antipodr.com/

Lass I love you for the excellent proof reading and shoe-horning in the unspeakable Kate of Spiritual Home fame!

This sounds a nightmare. I hope all the penis-owners and handmaids enjoy it.

suspect they haven't really thrashed this one out, can't see how someone who has never had a womb is going to get on in the red tent- surely no amount of mental gymnastics can make that stack up

They can just bring a shoe box a la Monty Python. Decoupaged maybe.

That's such a shame about the drumming. It sounded ace up till then.

its in the daily mail

That is hilarious.
Did you ever work out how a pre-op transgender male will steam his vagina?

Looks shit, to be honest

Imagine someone in a tutu teaching you about sprouting

I'd really rather not.

I prefer my food not to vibrate on account of how that would make eating it a bit messy.

This sounds bloody awful even before you get to the potential for cock in the showers part. If I'm paying that much I expect booze and someone to fan me while I relax on a sun lounger, or at least some good live music.

(Note that I said "good" music. Drum circles are an abomination unto Nuggan.)

I believe that is where the raw food cult movement (who believe that cooked food is poison) meets, and you you cannot make this shit up, New Age spiritualism

I'm guessing there won't be any chips then

I wonder if they'll be selling Paltrow's yoni eggs.

(Absolutely google it. Just don't buy one, because sticking porous rocks up your fanny is not the brightest idea anyone ever had.)

I prefer my food not to vibrate

Well, indeed. However, I highly recommend preparing your food by boosting its rotational energy at the molecular level (I don't mean put it on a Lazy Susan).

A microwave makes your food vibrate at the molecular level, but they don't approve of microwave ovens. I dont know why, something to do with it making your food vibrate at the molecular level.

I read the article and 'festival' sounds a load of old shite. For £225 you get volunteers running workshops. I hope the vagina-steaming workshop is run by a "pre-operative individual" so that they can mansplain how to do this to the vagina-possessors.

I am also fervently hoping for meltdowns by various individuals as to how the festival is biological elitism and exclusionary because not all women have vaginas and the very presence of the word vagina is triggering and won't someone consider the children.

Rotate, not vibrate upstart

Will you be leading the workshop on how to do that?
I wont attend, I'll be organising a sit down and put your feet up protest about making women do the labour

Nah, it's too warm for putting more energy into food IMO. Though I suppose I could demonstrate how to re-energise a cup of tea.

Are they are eggs or tinned peaches in that red cabbage thingy?
Looks a bit like Jack Monroe's concoctions!

Still I suppose you could steam your bits and the veg at the same time to save resources. A sort of veg/vag melange