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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is not okay?

73 replies

Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:13

Just been tag teamed by two posters in relationships on a post about teenage porn.
The post was about a woman who found her partner wanking to teenage porn.
I posted how it was gross and I don't agree with it. But got quite attacked over my opinion and how I can't control what my partner wanks to.

What are your opinions of this.
Their arguement is these girls are of consenting age (18).
My arguement is these 18 year olds certainly don't understand the extent of the industry they have involved themselves in, let alone want to be there.

What are your opinions?

OP posts:
Lollipop30 · 18/06/2018 18:14

I personally think 18 is still a child and would be disgusted. I know technically they’re not but I still think it’s wrong.

AllAboutAdamAndEve · 18/06/2018 18:17

The more I learn about men, the more men I get to know, the more I am glad I am not sharing a home with one.

MaidOfStars · 18/06/2018 18:19

I don’t believe an 18 year old is old enough to consent to this specific activity. We are seriously fucked up as a society if any 18 year old wants to consent to this.

Original poster
Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:20

I was totally grossed out. Probably because I have a little and I can't imagine any man with a daughter finding this okay.

I agree 18 is still a child and quite shell shocked any woman would deam that okay! I couldn't argue with them any longer!

OP posts:
Original poster
Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:21

Little girl*
We are a seriously fucked up society when women are still accepting this as okay!

OP posts:
ToeToToe · 18/06/2018 18:22

No it's not OK - neither wanking off to teenage porn, nor posters ganging up on people objecting to it.

I just don't know where to begin when it comes to porn and how degrading to women it is.

SomeKnobend · 18/06/2018 18:22

Grim. Of course you can't control what your oh wanks to, but you can be disgusted by it and you're allowed to have your own boundaries about what you are and aren't comfortable with. Some people's absolute limit before they ltb would be 18, for some people it might be younger or older. Not everything that's legal has to be OK with you.

NotTerfNorCis · 18/06/2018 18:24

Third wave feminists support this - if you oppose porn and prostitution you are a 'swerf'!

ChickenMe · 18/06/2018 18:24

It's rank but some women are keen to show how they approve of porn to get bonus points from men and if you just made them feel bad that's probably why they didn't like it

terfinginthevoid · 18/06/2018 18:25

I despair at the normalising of this. And that women accept it from their partners.
You can't control what someone does, but you don't have to stay in a relationship with them while they do it. My partner is fully aware that if I find out he has watched any porn our relationship is over.

BertrandRussell · 18/06/2018 18:26

If you accept porn you accept porn. You can’t pick and choose so long as it’s legal. It is damaging to women, men, children and society at large. But we seem to have bought into it,

Original poster
Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:26

I just told them I had standards and left them to continue their reasons why it's perfectly normal to fantasies about teenagers. However they have stopped now.

OP posts:
CardsforKittens · 18/06/2018 18:28

I agree that I can't or shouldn't try to control what my partner wanks to.

However, I can decide who I'm in a relationship with, and if my partner chose to wank to teenage porn - or any porn - I would leave the relationship. I would also leave the relationship if he voted conservative or bought a Range Rover. He's within his rights to do any of these things, just as I'm within my rights to decide who I'll have a relationship with. And my personal life is a no-porn zone.

Original poster
Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:28

That's it, I don't accept porn at all and that just got my back up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:31

Yes exactly, just as I was within my rights to give them my opinion on the subject. They don't seem to get that though.

Misogyny clouding their brain.

OP posts:
therealposieparker · 18/06/2018 18:34

I don't accept porn, but I do think there are levels of porn that I would be more disgusted in than others. Barely legal porn would be a category that would invite much disgust.

Original poster
Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:36

@therealposieparker
Precisely why I gave my opinion. She has another baby girl on the way and I wouldn't want her thinking it was normal!

OP posts:
Opheliah · 18/06/2018 18:38

Thing is, how do you know the pornstar is genuinely 18 anyway?
Clue is in the word "teen"

Could be 18 or 19.

Could be 16...14...

In my experience girls (and yes they are girls in this case) enter the sex industry before 18 but for the sake of legality they are told to say they are 18.

The men know this. They know they're watching a potentially younger or even much younger girl. Why bother searching "teen" otherwise.

Opheliah · 18/06/2018 18:40

It's weird you got a flaming on another thread. So much normalisation of the hyper sexualisation of girls around.

terfinginthevoid · 18/06/2018 18:42

This normalisation of porn makes me feel very old.
Before the introduction of home video in the early eighties, hardly any men watched porn - you had to go to special sleazy cinemas to see it.
Even in the nineties, you still had to go to some lengths to get hold of videos - and I remember the young men at work laughing at the sad older bloke we worked with who was always going on about his video collection.
Its now so mainstream even otherwise nice and normal men have no problem admitting to using it. And their partners think its normal, and that they have to put up with it.
I despair.

Original poster
Footballmumofthefuture · 18/06/2018 18:56

Why bother searching "teen" otherwise.
This with bells on!

I doubt they are 18 either. It makes me very queasy!

I was told to get a grip Confused

The sheer amount of women that are okay with it disturbed me more.

OP posts:
QuentinSummers · 18/06/2018 19:08

I think lots of posters with a vested interest pop up on those threads to make porn consumption seem normal.
I tend to think loads of them aren't what they say they are.

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 18/06/2018 19:09

Apparently for some, men's orgasms are more important than the humanity and dignity of girls and women. I detest porn - if any other group in society had their abuse filmed for entertainment we would be falling over ourselves in outrage. But women and girls? Meh who gives a shit!

Jeni29 · 18/06/2018 19:17

When I was 16 I was in a relationship with someone who was 28. At 16 I was so grown up and wouldn’t listen. When I was 28, I was responsible for training interns, apprentices, most of them were 16-19, the thought struck me, they were still children. To this day I feel sick that my naivety was taken advantage of and a fully grown man would do this. I look at photos of when I was 16 (still in school uniform as I was one of the older ones) and I looked more like 14.
It’s disgusting and I fully agree with you

Kettlepotblackagain · 18/06/2018 19:22

Women consenting to their own abuse in the name of liberation.

I despair.

Men don't even have to to it any more. There's plenty of women leading the way, especially where sex is concerned and it is one of the things I find most disturbing.

Well we're equal now so what's the problem?

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