AIBU to think this is not okay?

[Footballmumofthefuture]

Just been tag teamed by two posters in relationships on a post about teenage porn.
The post was about a woman who found her partner wanking to teenage porn.
I posted how it was gross and I don't agree with it. But got quite attacked over my opinion and how I can't control what my partner wanks to.

What are your opinions of this.
Their arguement is these girls are of consenting age (18).
My arguement is these 18 year olds certainly don't understand the extent of the industry they have involved themselves in, let alone want to be there.

What are your opinions?

It's just all grim in my opinion and it's the fact that these men (or women) in this case a man. Watch it because they look underage. So they are getting off on that!

"Why is a 16 year old able to consent to sexual intercourse but not to appearing in pornography?"

You want to join the Lib Dems FMS -

Few years back there was something raised at their conference to reduce the age for appearing in porn / working as a prostitute to 16.

The girl I knew who appeared in stuff like this was 18 but she looked about 12. Facially, her body. Like a barely pubescent girl.

For sure it's legal but skeevy as all fuck and to assume a man who watches it has an interest in under 18s / under 16s is not a stretch by any means.

Skeevy is the word. The older I get, the less I tolerate porn. And then he more I'm creeped out by the enthusiasm for teen porn. Those were the men who assaulted and flashed me when I was at school. Grim fuckers.

"Those were the men who assaulted and flashed me when I was at school"

And there's a fuckton of them about

And doing way worse as well

This is where so many women make the link and men and some women like to pretend there is none.

That wathcing "teen porn"
Is no way indicates an interest in underage girls (hahahahahah)
And in any case no-one who watches this would ever act on it (hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaha)

The existence of such a lot of this content also props up the idea that sexual desire for younger girls is normal.

Normal is the wrong word!

It is normal, in the sense that lots of men fancy secondary school age girls (last years at primary - any age just past puberty).

I mean it makes it seem acceptable.

Which it isn't, despite what certain media Doctors may have to say on the matter.

I was going to say something about a lack of moral fibre, but skeevy is better!

Was it Catharine MacKinnon who said porn is the theory and rape is the practice? Or maybe Andrea Dworkin?

I know what you mean Sardine. And they each prop up the other: the normalisation of teenage porn normalises men leering and assaulting teenage girls. And the leering and assault normalises the porn. And around and around it goes ...

I love feminism chat

The older I get, the less I tolerate porn
Me too
Although the porn of today is poles apart from the girly mags of my teens, the videos of my 20s or even the kind of stuff on YouPorn 10 years ago (used to watch a bit with DH)
It would actually be quite interesting to research it.
I do not understand how a lot of what's available now is legal.
No doubt some lovely guy will be along shortly to call us all prudes

It would be the end of any relationship for me if a man I was with actively searched for teen porn. Gross and there isn't any excuse for it. Seedy and disgusting.

I know it's at a slight tangent but the reason I came off Facebook (well the last straw really) was because to my horror a post was shared onto my newsfeed about a man who I went to school with who had been caught by one of those vigilante paedophile hunter groups asking sexual favours from who he thought was an eleven year old girl.

They showed all the texts he had written which were extremely disturbing and upset me for days afterwards. The sheer cold realisation that someone I once knew, married with a child himself and was my age, is a paedophile was chilling.

As far as I am concerned this kind of thing is one step away from that. I'm not saying porn was to blame but I think it could well bring it these kind of tendencies. If you are fantasising and wanking off to very young looking girls you may well have the capacity to act on that. We have made all this so accessible, in some ways normalised it, and the repercussions for some - not all - but some - are simply terrifying. Yet I've no doubt some will just think I'm being hysterical, prudish and need to lighten up.

"I love feminism chat"

Me too!

Bit off-topic possibly but what do people think is at the root of male attraction to very young girls (which i suspect the vast majority of men feel)? Evolutionary psychology bros would claim it’s hardwired because reproduction blah blah blah. But this doesn’t really make sense because actually a 13/14-year-old girl getting pregnant is surely more likely to experience complications during birth than someone even slightly older?

Clearly our whole society promotes the extreme sexualisation of teen girls, but does this happen BECAUSE men are attracted to teen girls anyway, or the other way around?

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I have this question about many damaging aspects of male sexuality and masculinity that society promotes. See also domination/humiliation of women (I think someone asked about this on this thread but have lost track). Is it innate or learned?

My own view is probably that it’s a mixture. Same as male violence. I believe male sexuality is probably innately based on domination to some extent, but our society takes what might be a low-level background instinct for most men and blows it up to extremes, normalising worse and worse manifestations of it.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who wouldn’t be interested in dominating me if I expressed the interest. My current DP doesn’t show signs of interest in this, but I have the horrible feeling that if I put it on the table he’d jump at the chance.

And yes god bless feminism chat when it comes to things like this. I thought I was losing my mind when I read the other thread.

sloth humans do seem to have an innate attraction to youth. Domestic cats and dogs have been bred to look more like kittens and puppies.
Perhaps it's because our children need so much care.
Not sure why that would convert to sexual attraction though

I think that young girls are attarctive to men because of a combination of reasons

Ideas around innocence / virginity being somehow prized
Younger girls are much easier to manipulate. More likely to "look up to" an old
Probably feeds into dominance - younger girls are easier to physically and mentally and sexually dominate

So it's about feeling like "the big man", not getting "talked back" to, being able to coerce more easily, maybe more feelings of owndership etc

All a but grim really.

cute =/= sexy though

although certain groups might be trying to persaude us otherwise (thinking certain anime etc)

cute =/= sexy though

Haha yes indeed, guinea pigs are cute, but sexy they ain’t...

I do notice beautiful teens of both sexes (as you say, Quentin, there is an innate appeal there) but I would definitely put them in the guinea pigs category rather than the potential partners category.

Sardine, your post about innocence/dominance/manipulation is very true, I think. And very depressing.

One of the main magazines for this was titled 'Barely Legal' - which gives you some idea of what the consumers are after. Not 18 year olds who look 18 - or even 16.

titled 'Barely Legal'

.

That's one the tropes in porn, though, isn't it? The incessant appetite for breaking taboos, however reasonable those taboos are. So you see incest-styled porn, the 'barely legal' stuff, violence, etc.
My own view is that once someone veers into using porn, they quickly get bored with vanilla, if such a thing exists, and require more and more extreme behaviours to achieve the thrill they got when they first began. It feeds a distorted appetite that can often spill into other things.

This is so fucking grim. My DD is in her early teens and men have been gawping at her since she was 9. I regularly shout at blokes who are drooling over her when we're out and about but it's like they are hypnotised, very very chilling.

I too have spent a lot of time thinking about where this comes from and I believe a significant factor is the likelihood of young girls being more compliant/easier to manipulate than adult women.