WIBU - man telling me not to leave my bag open

[Redgreencoverplant]

Was in Greggs with DS in buggy with changing bag slung over handles. Changing bag was open. Was also with DBro and his partner both of whom are adults. Was ordering so wasn't looking at bag when man behind me interrupted to mid order to tell me I shouldn't leave my bag open in public. I responded saying it was fine but he kept saying it so I very firmly told him that it was ok and turned back to ordering.

I'm worried I was unreasonable but I am a grown woman who had two adults watching the buggy and bag and had decided to take this risk. I am more than capable of assessing risk. Anyway WIBU to firmly tell him I was ok with it being open?

It sounds like he was trying to help TBH. My purse was stolen from my changing bag when I was with DH and we were both distracted.

He was being helpful. This is not a feminist issue at all. I have told many a stranger in the street their bags are unzipped. Pick pocketing is a huge issue.

YABU pickpockets actively target mothers with pushchairs as they are distracted and obviously can’t leave a buggy to chase for example so he was just being nice! I bet it’s the last time he helps anyone

He was just being helpful maybe a bit overbearing are you annoyed because you felt he was telling you off

Some people just think they need to get involved with everything. He probably thought he was being helpful, but it would’be made me feel stabby.

Mothers with pushchairs are a huge target. One of my friends had a horrendous experience when she had her baby out on a pushchair. They walked through a market and these two people started crowing over the baby and one stuck the baby with a pin! When the baby screamed and the mother jumped in to check the baby the thieves grabbed her bag from the pushchair handles and ran off.

You were bvu. Being crime aware isn’t a gender issue, he was trying to help. Chill!

I have had people mention it before but in 'dont know if you know but your bag is open' way. This was said in an extremely patronising 'you shouldn't leave your bag open'. It was a bit aggressive and the lady serving me asked me if I wanted her to do anything so I don't think it only came across that way to me.

I guess what I am saying it felt like a you are a stupid woman and I am wise man way of telling me. I had two adults watching the bag for me, I was perfectly happy with it being open in that situation.

He was warning you that your bag was vulnerable to pickpockets...
A feminist issue?? Ffs . Get a grip.

Oh, stop it . He sounded patronising so the lady behind the counter asked you did you want her to intervene?! That did not happen

Interesting drip feed.

Well, you shouldn’t leave your bag open...

It did greyhound because he was quite aggressive in his tone, it wasn't a major thing but she asked if I wanted her to ask him to go to the next checkout. However clearly I was unreasonable.

I don't think this is a feminist issue. It was one human being giving advice to another. Whether or not you take the advice is up to you, but his gender is irrelevant in this example.

That is true pottering but my point is that it is my decision to make. If he had said 'your bag is open' I would have thanked him.

This isn't a feminist issue.

I rarely bother telling people their bags are open any more.

Last time the young woman (whose backpack handbag was hanging open and her phone and purse was on full show) looked at me like I'd just crapped into her bag and did that sucky teeth thing at me.

I accept I was unreasonable.

I find this post a little sad, when one human can't express concern for another. Would you have had such a reaction if a woman had said the same?

Of course it is entirely possible he was being condescending, it's also possible a woman could be equally condescending, this isn't a feminist issue imo

It was a weird time to pick to say something though - when you're in the middle of ordering... very possibly with your purse in your hand, ready to pay, that you'd then put back in the open bag and close it?

I think there is a difference between mentioning it at a sensible point and interrupting someone in the middle of something to mention it personally.

Yes my purse was in my hand Egg. I think the fact that I was mid order did affect my reaction as I was thrown and trying to remember what I had already ordered and just wanted to get back to the checkout. Clearly I let that overly affect my reaction.

I've been told by another woman in shock that my bag was open. I took a slight offense as if I couldn't assess my own risk.

Then I got pick pocketed because my bag was open. Learned my lesson.

The only way to get pick pocketed is to leave your bag open or put valuables in your pocket.

It's useful life advice.

This is in no way a feminist issue, OP. He was trying to be helpful, and maybe it’s his normal way of speaking?

Why do we have to take offence about everything?

I would be grateful if you had told me in that situation fekko. If I clearly didn't know my bag was open I would be glad. It just felt unnecessary in this situation as I had left two adults I trust watching the bag.