I don’t think you were harsh cards - it’s a very valid point and a valid question to ask. Not sure I know of any good resources but searching for body dysmorphic disorders in Pubmed will start you off.
There are lots of body dysmorphia type disorders - some are more familiar than others. Anorexia for example is one. Gender dysphoria is another and body dysmorphic disorder as well. We dont treat any other dysmorphic disorder the way we do gender dysphoria (ie with affirmative treatment.) we don’t tell anorexics that yes, they’re a bit chubby and should cut down on food - thatd be grossly negligent.
It’s only gender dysphoria that we treat by affirming a persons delusional (and I use that word in a medical context, not as a term of abuse) world view. Why do we do this? I honestly dont know. The idea of deliberately blinding yourself is horrendous.
And here my own personal opinion is this: people with genuine gender dysphoria are a minority of the transgender population. They have an illness. They should as adults be able to access medical treatment. Children absolutely should NOT be treated affirmatively - around 80% of kids end up being OK with their gender identity, so it’s again really unethical to treat all children who have issues during puberty with awful drugs like puberty blockers, which have serious and lifelong effects.
The rest of the trans population are a mix of cross dressers, autogynephiles etc and I think they are a very different kettle of fish. They are the ones attempting to push through self ID for example. They are the vocal lobby pushing to reduce the rights of women and children.
And as for transracialism - I honestly dont know too much about that. I’ve only seen a couple of cases in the media - dolzeal for example. I do agree with you that the different ways society reacts is interesting as well - why is one greeted with derision but the other has a lobby group that’s powerful and well funded?
People who wrongly park in blue badge spaces are utter bastards :)