Should I change my last name?

[lavenderlove]

Hi,
I'm getting married really soon and it's just sort of dawned on me that my last name is assumed to be changing.
I was ok with this at first but now it's getting closer I'm feeling a bit weird about it. I've brought it up with my OH and he seemed a bit put out that I wouldn't want to adopt his name.
I would feel more comfortable hyphenating my name with his name. Sounds silly but I don't even know how it works. Once your married do you write the name you want to go by on your marriage certificate? Or does that come at a later date?
Also I would love to hear the reasons you changed/ kept/ hyphenated your name.
Thanks

'When you strip away all the princess day gubbins, I do think that marriage is capable of shucking off the old patriarchal baggage, though the available wording in the ceremonies needs to be changed. We wanted to say “partner”, not husband and wife, but we weren’t allowed.'

This is why we need civil partnerships to be available to all. You get the legal protection without any of the sexist baggage around rings, proposals, white dresses, Mrs, name changing, husband and wife etc. Yes I know all of that stuff is 'optional' these days but it's still very much expected.

See what you're saying, Lottapianos, but when gay people couldn't legally get married everyone I knew who had a civil partnership referred to it as "getting married" anyway, because that was what they really wanted to do.
So i suspect that if a straight couple announced they were going to have a civil partnership people'd say "You mean a registry office wedding?" and if they said "Yes, but we want to get away from all the baggage about rings and veils" someone's Nanna would say "Well, in My Day we just had tea and sandwiches afterwards. There was still rationing, you see."
"Mrs" was originally short for "Mistress" as "Mr" was short for "Master". It was the standard title for all women, married or not, until at least the eighteenth century. I have always wished things had stayed that way.

A lot of women change their names because, as shown on this thread, women's last names are harder to spell or pronounce or are uglier than men's last names. Men's last names are also more unusual so difficult to live with, or,alternatively, less unsual so easier to live with. Men's names are just better.....

This is why we need civil partnerships to be available to all. You get the legal protection without any of the sexist baggage around rings, proposals, white dresses, Mrs, name changing, husband and wife etc.
If it had been available I wouldn't have married DH at all, but picked this option. DH would have far preferred this too.

A lot of women change their names because, as shown on this thread, women's last names are harder to spell or pronounce or are uglier than men's last names. Men's last names are also more unusual so difficult to live with, or,alternatively, less unsual so easier to live with. Men's names are just better.....

Lol! And of course none of these women have brothers who also hated their names or found them hard to spell and therefore took their wife's name!

If there were just one - just a single one - comment which said "My husband always hated his name so we all took my name instead" then I might find the "It's my free choice" thing a bit easier to believe.

But there isn't.

If I get married (plan to next year) then I will change my surname. And our childrens.

If you want the family to have the same name, wouldn't it make a lot more sense for him to change his name to yours and the children's rather than go through the faff of changing at least 3 people's names?

If you don't want to change your name don't change it. I would never in a million years change my name. It is my name, end of story. It would be horrible to start marriage feeling sad to have lost your name. There's also no reason why any future DC can't have your name.