What do your male partners make of GRA

[WelcomeToGilead]

My husband is the stereotypical male who is unaware/blind to women’s rights in general.

Or should I say... WAS

He’s really getting angry and I’m glad to see it. This is a man who couldn’t be bothered watching Handmaids Tale when it was on because he felt it was utterly irrelevant to his existence (as an educated, well off, privately educated white male. )

Just wondering what your partners are thinking? Has anybody managed to gain their partners support? Those of you with daughters.... are you managing to talk sense into their dads?

Dp thought I was a bit bonkers at first, but has been interested in what I have to say. He is now completely enraged about how women's rights are being eroded and utterly confused at the ideas being pushed by the TRAs. He just can't understand the thought process behind anyone who says they are a woman is a woman and you may not say anything that challenges that in any way. I thought his head was going to explode when I read him the Facebook thing about the trans women who were angry that the severity of their 'periods' was not being respected. Its like everyone is having to play along in someones game of pretend and he just doesnt get it.

He has been concerned for me at times because he worries I let it get to me too much, but at the same time he can completely see why I am upset.

I’m trying to get mine to come to a march at some point but he really doesn’t want any trouble, just has a discreet froth behind closed doors.

It really annoys me, I think men should all be protesting. Do any of your husbands go on marches?

He doesn’t really care, I mean of course he thinks it’s loopy but it doesn’t affect him so he can afford to be complacent. Isn’t that male privilege.

Dh was shocked and baffled

PoulaFisch

Nightowlagain
Buy your husband a beer. He seems like a decent man...

“He gets defensive when I talk about male violence because NAMALT so it's difficult. He is really gentle and would never hurt anyone, so when I talk about men as a class being a threat to women as a class he gets pissed off and says I shouldn't generalise. “

Decent man, really.

I suspect that Quimby's comment represents that majority male opinion, and that most men won't say anything until the issue impacts them in a way they can't ignore (a daughter forced to share changing rooms with a boy or who loses her spot on a sports team to a boy, for example, or if they have a lesbian daughter if she shares with them the pressure she's under to have sex with trans "lesbians").

My dad thinks it's bollocks too but also thinks it's a tiny number of people who'll eventually get bored and move on to something new.

Decent man = man who's dismissive of his wife's opinions and who gets angry with her if she tries to talk to him about sexism.

Interesting set of ethics you have there, Poula.

He gets defensive when I talk about male violence because NAMALT so it's difficult. He is really gentle and would never hurt anyone, so when I talk about men as a class being a threat to women as a class he gets pissed off and says I shouldn't generalise

Mmm! I don't mean to pile on that, but yes. My DH gets defensive, does the NAMALT thing but then he will add that he knows enough men who would... he will also add that he knows many women who would. He is right, based on where he grew up. And he no longer gets annoyed by the generalisation as he can see that the stats make is essential for women to be wary! And that makes him angry a over again!

We argued about it for quite a while where he agreed but thought it was a lot of fuss about nothing. I can't remember what peaked him, but he has since been called a terf, terf-blocked, and quoted by quite a few GC feminists on twitter

@MyRelationshipIsWeird DP has peaked. I’ve talked a bit about it after reading on here and he is usually a bit like “but surely that wouldn’t actually happen?” and I give him examples of when it already has done

I think this is the biggest problem. Your average wo/man on the Clapham Omnibus has no idea of the extent of what is being proposed and naturally assumes there will be common sense safeguards and rules and exceptions. Getting people to see that it would be all of it, all the time, in all spaces is almost a leap too far because it is so outrageous - and logically assumes we are getting all flustered over something else much minor.

I find that the words and examples tumble out of me all over themselves on the rare occasions I go public with it which makes me sound even more silly, because I just want to make them see the extent.

Think how many people have showed up here saying "well obviously they wouldn't..." only to be told that in fact they already have.

Yep! It was one of those that Peaked me. When you don't know about the ridiculousnesses that are happening they are impossible to imagine. No sane and sensible person would give much of the TRA nonsense any credence.

It is only when you see some of it for yourself that your brain stutters and adjusts its reality settings to accept many illogical happenings.