What do your male partners make of GRA

[WelcomeToGilead]

My husband is the stereotypical male who is unaware/blind to women’s rights in general.

Or should I say... WAS

He’s really getting angry and I’m glad to see it. This is a man who couldn’t be bothered watching Handmaids Tale when it was on because he felt it was utterly irrelevant to his existence (as an educated, well off, privately educated white male. )

Just wondering what your partners are thinking? Has anybody managed to gain their partners support? Those of you with daughters.... are you managing to talk sense into their dads?

My partner thinks it's nonsense and that common sense will prevail...we can hope but all the main Parties are for it.

My teenage daughter is aware of the SJW's on reddit and tumblr but she hasn't been sucked in and is worried about men having access to our woman only spaces.

He's gender critical and thinks sex = gender.

Eh? Aren't those two things mutually incompatible?

Secrets if this was February 2003 then I may owe your dh an enormous debt of gratitude. Slim chance I know, but I was the woman in that situation once and I've always wanted to thank the man who saved my life and was so kind.

I suppose I think gender critical means you don't believe you can have male as your sex and woman as your gender and that the 2 are synonymous. I am a woman I am female.
Most people I know think your gender is the same as your sex and gender is a superfluous concept.
Maybe that's not being gender critical but I don't know enough about sexuality theory/ feminist theory to know what that concept is called apart from the common sense usual one.

I think many more men that we realise completely understand the issue. My DH certainly does, and so do my liberal male colleagues. We were discussing liberalism and I brought up the trans issue and said it was killing the Labour Party for me. They listened then wholeheartedly agreed. I showed them Lily Madigan and literally watched 3 men peak trans before my eyes. It was magical.

I've asked him: 'What the fuck are these people on? Never heard such a load of absolute nonsense. Men are men and women are women. The country is being held to ransom by a load of loonies and the establishment is listening to them.'

He expresses himself in more forthright terms than I normally do, but you did ask.

The only men I have met who don't engage are trendy right-ons who try to argue that its all just an intersex issue, and of course women can indeed have penises.

I find men with daughters and special needs kids are the most horrified.

I’m pleased to say I think my dad gets it - we disagree on quite a few other things - I’m much further left than he is despite him growing up with one of his parents being a labour MP.

I explained about the case wig the women’s refuge in Canada that only just managed to prevent a male who identified as a woman from working with traumatised abused women.

And I also mentioned sport which he isn’t into but seemed to get the physiological differences would still exist even if taking hormones and/or having had surgery.

Very pleased. I don’t think he’s seen the utter tripe in social media and I try and keep off it myself and deal with RL so to speak. Apart from MN obviously.

My DH said the other day, if you think it will just affect women's live you're deluded - one way or another it will affect us all. Needless to say he's horrified at whats playing out, particularly the Oxford footage and somewhat glad DS is homeschooled...

I've asked him: 'What the fuck are these people on? Never heard such a load of absolute nonsense. Men are men and women are women. The country is being held to ransom by a load of loonies and the establishment is listening to them.'

Honestly, I think this would be a fairly widespread opinion. It's only on here we have pussyfoot around the topic, being 'careful' not to offend.

I've peak-trans'd my DH. It was the women's sport issue, I think, that had most impact.

Although he also listened to Posie Parker's speech at Bristol, and the question "Does my 11yr old have the right to go into a changing room and not see an adult penis?" had a big affect, being father to DD of a similar age.

@Baubletrouble43 , it was 1990, but I am very glad someone was there for you too.

One of the other events that affected DH's awareness was the École Polytechnique massacre. He was studying for his Engineering degree when it happened. It was a huge WTH moment for those in the field who just saw women Engineers as Engineers.

Mine considers himself a feminist and thinks the whole TRA thing is bullshit. He wishes trans people no harm and to be able to live their lives free of violence and oppression etc of course, but are not actual women and should not be barging their way metaphorically or otherwise into womens spaces

"It's all a bit post-truth, isn't it?"

To be honest it was DH who made me aware of self ID.
He's a scientist (we both are), so to him XX = woman, XY = male.
I don't know a single man who believes otherwise actually.

Mine thinks it's bullshit. He joined the Women's Equality Party as a founder member, so is quite literally a card carrying feminist (with an actual card!). He's disappointed in their stance about this issue, because it's being 'right on' rather that protecting women and women's rights

Bloody hell, I'd not heard about the École Polytechnique massacre before.

He also got quite irate when Eddie Izzard suddenly started calling himself transgender, after previously writing lots of his material about being a transvestite. Just because he likes wearing dresses and makeup doesn't make him want to be a woman, because that's just playing into gender stereotypes. A man can wear dresses and makeup and he's still a bloke - unless he's starting a full transition to live life fully as a FIM, then what makes him any more transgender today, as a bloke who likes dresses and makeup, than he was for the last 20 years. A bloke who wears lipstick is still a bloke!

One of the things that causes flames to shoot out my cheeks is the transgender males attempt to appropriate the annual memorial of the women killed at the École Polytechnique massacre and the gun rights advocates demonstrating at the memorial.
"At long last sirs, have you no sense of decency."

thebewilderness absolutely agree

I've been hearing that some of the annual memorials and 'take back the night' vigils are no longer being held. If this is true...[rage]

Clicky link for anyone who hadn't heard about the Montreal massacre:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/École_Polytechnique_massacre

Eh? Aren't those two things mutually incompatible?

Does he not mean it in a...gender is just another word for sex way? A lot of people I know think that gender and sex are actually the same thing, that gender is just a way of saying sex without saying sex. And think what we know as 'gender' is just basically..personality and personal tastes in clothing and such.

Sorry, I missed 2rebeccas reply to that Did not mean to speak for you/him either. Its late and I am not thinking properly..

Of my make friends (straight male so don’t have a male partner) almost everyone of them would be on the same page as the feminist board on mumsnet, in a way that they wouldn’t be on other issues, but I’d say they mostly feel like as they’re not rowing in with the “liberal view” there’s no way they’re going to voice their position in any public or social media way as they don’t want to be subject to the ducking backlash.

I think it’s a reaction to being told that they’re opinion isn’t needed/wanted on social issues as straight white men, and they just can’t see it being worth the hassle of getting labelled as bigots etc

But most everyone I know thinks it’s fucking bonkers, but who wants to attract the minority of loons to your door to try and make you go viral as an example of a transphobic bigot and probably try to get you fired

Nope. DH is still stubbornly clinging on to his Woke mindset. He thinks almost all the TRAs in the public eye are ridiculous, as are their tactics which he thinks are various degrees of horrifying to boot. But he keeps saying "in an ideal world..." & then that of of course certain things wouldn't happen, that TRAs, misogynists, sex predators etc. shouldn't be allowed to block entry to all-female political meetings, or conduct mass reporting campaigns via social media, or get big business involved & try to bully investors into dropping MN, or physically attack grandmothers in public just for attending a meeting.

But he is massively stubborn though. TBH he tends to pick a side & then sink with the ship. It's very annoying. I'm hoping he sees the light. I really expected better of him; he describes himself as a feminist & is the only person in the world who's aware of what my ex put me through.

Complete denial.
Won't discuss it.
Thinks I have got it all wrong.