Dealing with inflammatory posts re Trans on MN

[womanformallyknownaswoman]

I am concerned to see the message below from MNHQ at the end of the T thread. Regarding posts that I consider "goady", I have a personal policy of not feeding them, not engaging and not rising to the bait. I ignore them. OPs looking for conflict as a way to feed themselves won't get it from me. Firstly, it's exhausting-they are not interested in dialogue, despite what they say, and secondly the best way to deal with them, imo, is to starve them of attention and not rise to the bait. Don't give them what they want i.e. a fight and conflict.

My concern is I predict there will be a lot more new threads and OPs looking for a fight, as the public becomes more aware of the issues and the tide starts to turn against TRAs. They will want to try and get this Place closed down for discussion, and none of us want that to happen.

Personally I have found it empowering to learn how not to engage and to turn it back on them if absolutely necessary, by the use of ridicule and short rebuttals of their nonsense. I am happy to share some techniques if it will help plus learn more from others. There's no point in trying to score points and win all the arguments they make as it's the engagement down their rabbit holes they want - they literally feed off conflict. They're anti-social remember, so any attention is better than none. They want to keep you coming back and arguing, so they can derail, prolong, provoke and generally make life difficult for MNHQ - to force them to take action. The negative attention "turns on" those looking for a fight….so please don't feed them, ignore them and lets keep this place open.

Message for MN:

Hi all

Since this thread is getting near its end, this seems like a good moment to make a really serious point.

We've just made some more deletions on this thread, and we're pretty exasperated tbh - we feel we're running out of ways to say 'please stick within the TGs or risk losing MN as a place to discuss this issue.'

We're really proud of our commitment to free speech, and we put a huge amount of time and resources to enabling this debate to take place - as many of you have pointed out, it's one of the few places left.

To those who haven't yet been able to stop and look at things from our end of the barrel - please understand that you're risking this space for everyone; if you really can't debate civilly with those you disagree with, it might be time to consider that MN is no longer the place for you. We're sorry to have to say this - we don't like it one bit - but tbh nothing else seems to have got through so far: we're at a point of last resort.

Thanks to all those who modify their first instincts and manage to make their points in a calm, considered and civilised manner - even in the face of goadiness. We appreciate it (and so would Michelle.)

Thanks all

MNHQ

Hometerf - totally agree - great idea to say Hello OP welcome to Mumsnet and ask them to explain a little more.... flags up to everyone including them - that they are welcome and that they are new.....and sadly may not be what they seem

DonQuixote - you are hugely welcome here .... I am deeply appreciative of men who engage in women's debate - especially this one - because as so many have rightly said - it affects us all and especially our children..... I also believe we will get much further if we work well with those men who want to move this forward.... outside of Mumsnet we have been finding some unusual allies.... and I think they are the vanguard of a much bigger "people movement" when people's brothers, fathers, husbands realise what is going on - and that they don't want it....

I was going to make a delicious roast chicken with crunchy roasts and all the trimmings but DH has toothache.

Ah, but would it have lasted for 5 days like in the mumsnet tales of yore?

(The chicken, not the felting. Not sure how felting works.)

Yes I noticed the trolling - they really can't stand a group of women chatting - isn't it curious how they need to try and derail - as though they're owed something - really just like toddlers - waw-waw

Thanks loveyouradvice (love your username )

In that spirit, hello to theheckiswrongwithyou. All posters welcome here if they wish to engage in good faith and with mutual respect. If not, it may not be a rewarding place to spend a Sunday afternoon.

scarlet

I made a felted rabbit for easter...was very proud of myself

Check out some of the animals people have felted...cant tell the difference with some of them

@donquixotedelamancha - I second what loveyouradvice just said.

I was wondering if you can do felting by taking the thread out of the sewing machine and using a free movement foot.

Dunno upstart

I did a kit, it was very good. Had a bit of home that you stabbed with a needle

Very therapeutic (and painful if distracted ....dont do it in front of the telly)

I'm good at crochet!

Is that womanly womaning enough?

Dh is getting a microwave meal as we are both too lazy attempting to get shit done before due date.

2D Felting is fun. With rolling pins etc. Personally nothing beats clay for me.

It's surprisingly warm up north at the mo totally jinxed it

Felting sounds obscene.

I gingerly looked it up on YouTube, ready to not click.

Imagine my surprise

derailed by felting - gotta b a first!! :)

I love knitting but I’m shit at it and have no need for any knitted stuff.

This is why cooking is the only traditionally feminine thing I do, really. When I'm done I can eat the results, so that's the motivation needed to actually do it on a regular basis. Whereas wool makes me itch, so knitting is out.

I tried knitting once. After all, if my mother could make a whole pair of booties when I was pregnant with my first surely it couldn’t be that difficult.

After 3 rows I gladly handed the entire lot to my mil who made all my children wonderful warm pirate jumpers that were much loved. I now appreciate that my favourite doll bedding growing up - the front, back and one sleeve of a jumper my mother attempted to make my younger brother but never finished - probably took years of work.

I too have been an appreciative lurker. I hope that conversation here continues to give cause to think.

I can recommend fused glass making if you get a crack at having a go. It requires specialist kit and a kiln, though, so more often done via workshops etc.

Do families still cook a traditional Sunday dinner these days? Now there's just me and DH, I can't be bothered. We're having beef stir-fry this evening.

I’m making soup for the week if anyone has any nice suggestions/recipes...

Just finished this thread, will stop replying at all to obvious goady posters I think. The thought of losing MN terrifies me, and transactivists would be over the moon at taking the one place women can talk properly away from them.

Actually, I have a confession that might get me thrown off a feminist forum. We've been married nearly 41 years.....and we have 'girl jobs' and 'boy jobs' a la May

It stops a lot of arguments.

(And somehow, putting out the bins and taking stuff to the tip is part of my remit.)

I'm knitting a jumper at the minute. I'm very glad I'm 5'2" and not 6'2" or it would never be finished. I have a short attention span for the boring bits.

Also has anyone seen the Make! program on BBC? It's great, they've got a real mix of people trying out different crafts.

we are having shoulder of lamb which has been cooking since 11am. the smell is driving me bonkers.

I'm a crochet-er too LangCleg. Quicker results than knitting somehow.

marge your chores are gender non conforming. Bins is definitely traditional boy job.

I got suckered into that then, didn't I?