We need a TRA support group

[0phelia]

I have delved into the dark underbelly of Twitter and so have had the "privilege" to come across some proper trans activists.

Some gems including someone who really believes women cannot tell the difference between men who say they're women and women. That it's "gaslighting" of me to suggest anyone can tell the difference.

And another tra lecturing me how transmen have the exact same physiological structure as men (because taking hormones) so he really cannot understand how transwomen should be excluded from women's sport. "Arm/leg lengths differ between people I have short legs = therefore all men should be included with women in sport" because artificial hormones.

Other gems... I have cis privilege because I think transwomen with penises should be seen as a type of Man... (let's just say I reject cis anyway and my years living as a prostitute is it really seen as a privilege?)

I'm not sure what sort of social media conversations you are all having but it is horrible being a GC feminist out there!

I’m autistic and have anxiety and depression. I’ve been struggling to process what’s going on and just how the TRAs are managing to get away with all this violence. I’m particularly disturbed by the twitter takeover. I’m not on twitter and have no plans to join in light of recent events.

I have been having bad dreams about gender stuff and feel angry at men in general now. Sometimes, I can barely speak to my husband and two sons as I feel so far removed from them in a way and wonder if they feel this hatred towards women and are just tolerating me. I have nobody to talk to in real life.

On a lighter note, one of my dreams involved me in the supermarket with dh when we passed by an area selling pads for trans women and I told dh they were ‘manstrual pads’ and he thought it was crazy 😂

Can you ask DH and DSs to support you? Explain that your rational fear of the current situation is making things hard for you. Ask if they can work harder at the connection for a while.

Dh isn’t interested in politics or societal change etc. Ds is studying politics, philosophy and economics at university and a member of the Labour Party, although more centre than left. He just rolls his eyes when I mention casual sexism, feminist concerns etc.

I don't think you need them to support you politically. MN can do that.

You need them to support you emotionally and personally, so you reconnect with nice men. Most men really are nice!

I started contributing to a self id thread on a site I frequent but backed away when those who clearly had given the matter no more than 30 seconds' thought started throwing around the usual vile TRA buzzwords. However someone way more eloquent and tenacious than me is doing a fantastic job of patiently explaining the facts and debunking the propaganda and scales are definitely starting to fall from eyes

AreYouTerfEnough
I've been having bad dreams too!

It can really wreck havoc on your mental health, and I have the same questions as you, how can they get away with it?

dorothy Great there someone in the group that's patient enough to explain... I hope you are able to reply with some supportive comments!

I agree with pickleme As in, the men in your life probably can't see from your perspective but can see enough to understand your upset and can support you through that.

I'm lucky enough to have a man in my life very supportive in all emotional ways but he's on auto-pilot when it comes to women's issues. Follows the standard lines (including victim blaming and denying the pay gap etc) until I set him right. Tiring.

I also wonder if my twitterings are worth the stress as I only joined for gc things and hence have created a little echo chamber mainly. Still I guess retweeting and clicking likes and aiding in the odd argument with tras must help.

I also wish we had real life groups who could meet up.

Perhaps we could set up real life meeting groups. Just a coffee and a moan would be enough for me tbh.

Some of the posters here did a demo in Manchester, yesterday I think, and that’s just awesome.

Bad dreams here too, though mainly one night after a particularly horrible attack. Wish I could meet for coffee, but I’m currently outside the U.K.

I made one particular Tweet and they came at me like iron filings on magnet, it was tiring batting them all away and after a couple of days of it I felt like I was some kind of kkk member or something - I've never been on this 'side' before and it's painful.

So yes, we need a nice pink woman cave to retreat to for a while.

Best to just mute the conversation or protect your tweets for a bit when that happens, Van Gogh.

Yes I have had dreams about it too, seeing men with their camel toe prop thing telling me they're women!

@AreYouTerfEnough I must admit I don't know I'd cope with that in terms of family. Im single and childfree and really struggling with the one friend who believes in self ID.

There aren't many issues where the political becomes personal but this is one.

Those in the dark underbelly of Twitter - I'm impressed that you can cope but I think the best you can hope for is to raise awareness, the TRAs aren't going to change their lines of attack.

You need brain bleach after reading those TRA tweets and blogs. Makes me laugh really, hearing them go on about ‘literal violence’ then they issue death threats and write stuff only an evil person would be proud of. They have minds like sewers. I wonder what their families would think of them if they knew.

Hi All
A good place to start on twitter is
A Womans Place - not sure of @ but search the name and you will find them. They have published 5 demands which are very simple but surpringly ignored by all.the mainstream parties who have all subscribed to the TAs mantra
'Transwomen are Women' This is the main problem, as nobody in power will challenge this, all in awe of the #transcult
They cannot or will not answer the question
'What is a woman' and the TAs go apoplectic if you ask them!
They organise meetings around the country too.
If you search the following hashtags you should find a good few rad-fems and g-c women and men to engage with

#LabourLosingWomen
#peaktrans
#Transcult
#self-id

Sorry if I have told you stuff you already know!

Alicia

I've not yet joined Twitter... I want to but keep putting it off, as I'm not sure how I'll handle any abuse. I have been talking lots about self-ID with friends and colleagues though, and have peak-transed at least a dozen people.

For those brave souls out there doing hand-to-hand combat in the Twitter streets, I'm in here plumping pillows and restocking the bar for you. Shoulder rub anyone?

Twitter is stressful, but it does make you sharpen up your arguments. Also you will come across people who are more unintelligent and unthinking than you may come across in your real life. People who think biological sex isn't real, people who think if you take male hormones you will actually grow a penis. Breathtaking misogynists. Men who, while they don't believe TIMs are women, will derail with NAMALT and push their MRA agenda rather than concede you deserve female spaces and services.

I'm not currently going out on the coalface of Twitter very effectively. I do a bit on FB, and have raised awareness among friends.

I'll work hard here in the woman cave, passing out the hot chocolate gin and fluffing up the towels so you peeps can come in for a bit of peace from the storm.

I had a bit of a deep think last night, prompted by a ballet I was watching. About 25 years ago, I reckon the stigma about being a single parent reduced hugely. Single and divorced mums were bringing up their children very successfully. Women were working. Lesbian couples started to be more visible, and lesbian couples were having babies. Women started leaving their marriages for lesbian relationships.
Men began to be afraid of becoming unnecessary in a way they hadn't feared before. They weren't needed to procreate, to earn, or to parent. They had lost control of us, and they need us more than we need them. I think that is why there has been such a surge in misogyny in recent years.

Sorry if everyone else already knew that- I've not read feminist theory, I'm picking things up as I go.

Damn, beupstanding. While I was tapping out my lengthy post, you were nicking my job...

Pickle We can chat while folding towels together .

I think you're completely right. There's a real crisis of masculinity, and it is hurting men as well as women. The fabulous Grayson Perry talks a lot about it. I've not read his book about it but prompted by this I think I'll look it up

The Descent of Man is the book. And here's the lovely Grayson talking masculinity:

He's fabulous, isn't he!
And yes, we can chat as we fluff as we fold!

Gotta go, my actual coalface is calling. My deep thinking will have to wait.

Alicia thanks I'll add those.

I hopped on briefly this afternoon and came across a TRA fronting the Lib-Dems LGBT group with this gem

I am female I am female I am female

I CBA replying "no you're a Transwoman. you need particular medical needs different to women" who can bother...

But in such high profile positions it's so depressing!

Sorry back story this Lib Dems person was out there bragging about filling in the "female" box on their medical forms and someone else pointed out that might cause them harm... it wasn't a random message.