Still cross about stall at primary school Spring Fair...WWYD?

[Wigeon]

So, one of the stalls at DD’s infant school yesterday was called “Don’t judge a book by it’s [sic] cover” and had a load of books wrapped in brown paper. You could choose a mystery book for 30p. BUT, each book had written on it either “B+G”, “B” or “G”, indicating whether the book was for boys or girls or both.

The irony when the stall was about not judging a book by its cover!

I started talking to two teachers who were standing nearby (women in their 20s), who both looked a bit embarrassed, one said “yes, I thought that was a bit odd”. Tried to ask them whether a book about trucks or dinosaurs wasn’t for my DD. What about a book about space, or the work of the police - was that a boy book or a girl book, or perhaps both? Then found a pen so I could re-label every book “B+G”, but stopped short of doing anything as it felt like I was interfering.

I think the stall had probably been organised by a well-meaning parent volunteer, so I think the teachers probably didn’t want to change it.

What would you have done? How come even young women who are in charge of teaching young children don’t feel this is sufficiently problematic to do something about it?

Another vote for Hesterton’s idea. Dare we think we have a solution?

“Another way it could be done is in four or so bins with genre:
History
Fantasy
Action adventure
Animals
Others”

It was out of order for the volunteers to decide what books are for girls and what for boys.

Smiths

Just to clarifying few things:

There is no PTA. The previous head (who only recently left) didn’t want one despite several people (including me!) enquiringly why not over the years. Parents are asked to volunteer for specific things like this fair.

I’ve had children at that school for six years and this is the first time this stall has existed, so can’t have been previous complaints.

There was no one standing at the stall when I noticed it; I had my mini rant to a couple of teachers who happened to be a few meters away.

And to those saying: what’s the problem - your DD could have chosen a “B” book! - the whole thing is as ridiculous as supermarkets labelling apples as for girls and bananas for boys, even though a boy could of course buy the apple. Why label in the first case? And this kind of pervasive sexism really is why there are multiple inequalities in adulthood.

I completely agree with those saying it’s as much a problem for boys /men - some girls do, despite everything, do “boy” things (play football, read about dinosaurs, increasingly study physics and engineering) but there is still a huge stigma against boys liking pink, fairy books, becoming primary school teachers and nurses...

I'd be interested to see what books were removed and what were left on thea bookshelf, DS is only 3 so Mr Men books excluded, I don't think we've reached any where there is no male or no female character

When my dd was little she would have picked the B book because she knew (and I knew) she hated pink and princesses and would want the chance of a more interesting book to her.

And what were the messages being fed to her about her sex and her identity through this? That she was somehow less of a girl, that being a girl was something that didn’t fit her tastes/interests/abilities, that she had to throw out society’s concept of girl wholesale in order to have a chance at getting something good. Perhaps you think otherwise but I’m not of the opinion that that is a desirable state of affairs.

Not at all Dixie. She's always enjoyed being a girl, knows she's a girl, celebrates being a girl and speaks up for girls/women as a teen - has boundless career ambitions.
She would just shy away from from the pink stuff and never really got too get up about it.

*het up about it.

I think we need to challenge gender stereotyping whenever we encounter it.

DS was on his primary school council in Y6 when they were discussing the school fair. Teacher suggested the prizes for one stall were a blue teddy for the boys and a pink for the girls.

DS pointed out that this was gender stereotyping and the teacher suggested something else. I imagine there was a bit of eyerolling in the staffromm later because I am "that" parent.

"And to those saying: what’s the problem - your DD could have chosen a “B” book! - the whole thing is as ridiculous as supermarkets labelling apples as for girls and bananas for boys, even though a boy could of course buy the apple. Why label in the first case? And this kind of pervasive sexism really is why there are multiple inequalities in adulthood."

Exactly this. What is it about a book that 'makes' it a 'boy' or a 'girl' book? Same with colours and styles of clothing, to be fair: jezebel.com/5790638/the-history-of-pink-for-girls-blue-for-boys

Thought I was highly strung until I started reading mn. Can't believe this would bother someone. If you don't like it, don't buy one! I for one would prefer them to be labelled. My Son prefers diggers to fairies, most kids do follow that "norm". But for those who don't the kind women had conveniently named them so your child can choose... how kind of them! Kids don't do irony, they don't get that selves all worked up about principles, so just give them the 30p and let them be kids.

Whenthereshope - why on earth would you want these 'concealed' books identified as boys or girls books? If choosing a preferred book matters then don't wrap them or follow Hesterton's suggestion for categories .
I have no issue about individual children choosing or preferring any particular type of book. I have an issue with children being told that certain subjects are for boys and others for girls.
Can you genuinely not understand how small incidents like these add together to form the unwritten 'rules' about being a girl or being a boy? It creates totally unnecessary inequalities for both boys and girls.

they don't get that selves all worked up about principles

My DD was furious that her teacher told her she couldn't be a builder when she grew up. (She'd meant 'a person who builds things' ie an engineer, but it was the principle of being told 'girls can't' which had enraged her). She mentioned years later that she'd been disappointed in me, that while I'd reassured her the teacher was wrong, I'd not taken it up with the school. (Turned out ok. She's doing an MEng now).

IME children have clear ideas of fairness and certainly can be very bothered by principles. I'd be a bit worried if I had one that wasn't.

Do your school do class stalls? I think it's a good challenge for the kids to come up with a few words to summarize the book. "Ancient Egyptian adventure" "Facts about volanoes" "Comedy about families" or whatever. A goal of this is for the child to read the book that they choose and having a genre will increase it more than the very general b, g labels.