If self id worked the way TRAs say it does who or what would you identify as?

[Frequency]

I can't decide between Stephen King or Guy Tang. I'm not that bothered about the whole penis thing. My gender doesn't define me and I'm that feminine anyway, so I could cope with being male but they're both recognised as very talented men in fields I am passionate about.

Obviously, as soon as I id as one of them, I will immediately share their life experiences and the things that make them them, therefore I will also be recognised as a very talented author or colourist and people will flock to me and buy all my books or hair products. Anything else would be phobic and literally wishing death on me.

DD2 would id as a ninja.

Obviously as a billionaire.

Or a supermodel who is also a human rights lawyer.

Spiderman. Cos, why wouldn't you??

I'd identify as childless one day a week so I could have a proper lie in

Well, I feel I have an incredible operatic singing voice inside me that just won't come out, so I identify as Kiri Te Kanawa or Angela Gheorghiu. Or maybe Jonas Kaufmann, not fussy about what sex I am.

I'm awaiting my call from Covent Garden...

I'd walk around growling "I'm Batman" and then I'd pull something out of my utility belt and prove it.

Only I don't have utility belt, but that doesn't matter.

Im Spartacus
no, really
but my personal pronoun is 'kumquat'

Or actually, I'd just start identifying as A Man.

I'd take 2 days off a month when my period is at it's most painful/heaviest and claim that it's protected as it's my 'manstruation' and no one would be able to discriminate against me.

I'd start hitting on the gay men who look after themselves far better than the stinky hetero cis men. And they'd have to love my man vulva and my man vagina because otherwise they'd be transphobic.

And if it comes in, I might not actually be joking! On the days when I am my least feminine looking, I might identify as a man and call myself gender fluid.

European! Fuck that Brexit shit, I still want freedom of movement. It's been my identity since birth, dammit. Don't call me British either. That's an act of actual violence.

Actually, can we identify as an object?? If so I want to be the whirly thing that delivers the winning lottery numbers every week. But I only want to identify as that part time...the rest of the time i want to identify as the winner of said lottery

I’d id as a transgender woman so I could wear all the pretties alongside my male privilege and win at sport.

I'd like to identify as my husband so I can have the better career and not do the school run. This is easily achievable because I can just turn up at his workplace on Monday morning and his boss will just have to recognise my true authentic self.

Maybe if we all id as European, we can stop Brexit.

That's how it works, right? We id as something and immediately become that thing to the point that questioning it should be illegal.

You are all amateurs. I am going to self-ID as a greek god. I wouldn't fancy being a one-and-only god, that sounds a bit lonely, but I'd like to hang out with my other god-mates. Actually, greek gods used to do a lot of transing (of other people) into plants and animals and things, didn't they. I could make the world really crazy.

Supreme Matriarch and Ruler of the Universe.

I mean, it's my destiny.

I would have a golden chariot and I would make India Willoughby lick its wheels.

A successful novelist.

I would also identify as an EU citizen. Where's my Italian passport?!

I identify as a millionaire. It's disgusting that the government won't allow me to live in my chosen identity...

A cat that drinks cappuccino and has a comfy bed.

I identify as a winner. I'm not particularly talented at any one thing but I'll just mooch about finish lines and award ceremonies and claim my prize.

I'd like to identify as someone living in a world full of radfem superheroes and cappuccino-drinking cats, where LangCleg is Supreme Matriarch & ruler of the universe & where we've id'd our way back into Europe

How to choose? Willowy tall blonde MENSA-level intelligent massively rich supermodel or Empress of the Universe?

I know: I'll identify as both.

Oh and if I go into a shop and am refused something based on the fact that i can't afford it, I'm going to call the cashier a bigot.

I think I'll self ID as a martial arts superstar.

I have zero co-ordination/balance and really can't be arsed with years of training (not to mention having to keep my fitness in tip top condition) and have no interest in reading up on the associated philosophies. However , I will buy a couple of suitable outfits and will copy a few moves from karate kid.

When I enter a room I expect people to bow to me. I will impart words of 'wisdom' and no-one will be able to question whether they are actually wise as this would be phobic. If someone threatens (or maybe just annoys) me I will swing my arms and legs around and said person will fall to the floor, accept that I have beaten them and never cross my path again. Any suggestion that they could easily knock me over (see above re lack of balance and co-ordination) will be a refusal to accept me for who I really am. I will henceforth be safe to walk the streets at any time I like.

Why do so many people only want to identify as one thing? You can be a cat on Monday and a billionaire on a Tuesday you know...