New job-two male colleagues are difficult. Help needed

[bagelbaby]

Hi all posting here for the first time. Looking to tap into your wisdom please.
Started new job. Male dominated environment but dinosaurs too especially two managers with whom I have equal status allegedly
Small company.
I knew it would be challenging but I'm finding it hard work to :
Be the newbie learning and fitting in without blithely accepting or taking all the stupid old fashioned remarks.

It's a place where if I speak up they'll happily label me as one of those strident feminists.
You know what I mean.
It's pretty low levell stuff ( but obvs masking a real view) e.g.'you'll find I talk a lot about military tanks (IKR!) but you'll find I am not interested in fluffy unicorn type of conversations"
I replied that I hoped I could join in as I was a tank commander in a former job and I had no interest in unicorns either.
Not true sadly, but I wanted to stop his stupid assumptions
It's just so bloody tiring to be on my guard all the fecking time.
Help me in the land of dinosaurs please!

I think keep doing your job with the utmost professionalism. Decide where your line in the sand is - what you can deflect withhumour/sarcasm/pithy remarks and what needs to be addressed 'properly.' And stick to it.

Keep up the slightly bored tone of pithy, dry replies
"Well the days of tank based warfare have passed I'm afraid Keith, I mean we saw that in the first gulf war didn't we? Look what happened there."
'yes Keith, I know you've expressed that opinion on my poor lady brain before, but I assure you I can strip down a laser microscope in ten minutes in between trivial thoughts of kittens...'
'How was progressive feminist thought back in the Jurassic, Keith.'

Etc

Any thing that crosses the line needs to be documented and called out immediately

"OK, look. I get I'm the only woman here and I put up with your frankly prehistoric views most of the time. However, when it comes to xxx that's a line crossed and it's not OK. "

"Oh yawn the strident feminist get out. A feminist is someone who believes in and works towards social, legal and financial equality for both sexes. Which bit of that is the issue? Do you believe women are your intellectual inferiors? "

For me, things like the tank comment (weird..) would be deflected but noted. Constant tank comments is crossing the line. Documentation can be key. Note down these incidents as they occur, with time and rough content.

It sounds extremely tiresome.

Ugh. Is it a really great job in other respects? Otherwise I'd start thinking about an exit strategy.

Thanks for your helpful replies. I've been there just four weeks. I'm already thinking if I can just get a full year on my CV....

it's just draining when I need to concentrate on sorting out all of the other shite practices they have going on.
I didn't really want to admit it to myself but I made a mistake joining!
On the plus side it's not stressing me
I happily drive away each night and leave it behind.
I want to have lots of strategies up my sleeve.
I kinda hoped these dinosaurs had gone underground at least. All talk of long hours and macho importance
Arses

Ugh, I don't envy you having to put up with this every day. Can you just look at him like he's got 3 heads when he says things like that? Or maybe smile and comment that he must not have met many women in his life to think things like that? He's doing it to patronise you, to make you feel small, but he has no real power over you.

I worked in HR for 10 years and if we had someone come for an interview and their last job was only for a few months, we'd ask about it, but certainly wouldn't hold it against you if you just explained it was the wrong company for you. You'd be surprised at how many people have jobs listed on their cvs that they'd only been at for a few months, it's very common.

They are the same level as you, so as a PP said, have no power over you. What about the next level up - how are they? Is there any sort of HR department? Just make sure you do as good if not better job than them, and make sure they get the credit that's due to you.

I agree with what's been said about being professional and also not letting them get away with crap. Unicorns indeed!

Honestly, I'd start looking around straightaway. You can just explain that it wasn't the company for you, and from what you say it may have a bit of reputation in the trade already.

I think it's always better to deal with colleagues without fighting them. it might to be possible to say, "Fred, tell this guff to Joe. And Joe, I'm sure Fred would love to hear your stories. But first, can we get something done on this project?" Or something like that.

Recognise that they've got something to say but you don't want to cooperate with. But also be clear that you're willing to work with them to get the job done.

I am not interested in fluffy unicorn type of conversations
Following this fred mainly so I can be there when you draw his name for the Secret Santa ...

Or maybe a dress-down Friday suggestion?