Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Oh ffs.

64 replies

Neverknowing · 10/08/2017 20:44

I've just seen this photo on FB. It's made me irrationally angry, men in the comments talking about how women 'make up rapes' and some even saying it protects both men and women somehow..?
So. Instead of focusing on the issue of men raping women we should get women to sign pieces of paper to say it's fine?
I can't even put into words all the reasons this is fucked up.

Oh ffs.
OP posts:
GreenTulips · 10/08/2017 20:45

That would be funny if not was a joke - if you are threatened or drunk it's hardly going to be relevant isbit?

Kursk · 10/08/2017 20:47

Looks like it's the military issuing it

MsPassepartout · 10/08/2017 20:47

Lovely.

So, how exactly do they intend to prove that the woman who signed this didn't do so under duress, or while drunk / high?

PricklyBall · 10/08/2017 20:59

Well, if nothing else, you know to walk away from any encounter with a bloke who produces one of these. In fact, don't walk, run like the wind.

I can't believe it's an official document though - time to check Snopes, I think.

Neverknowing · 10/08/2017 21:01

Exactly.
A rapist wouldn't be above forcing sex on someone but would obviously be above forcing you to sign a piece of paper.
This annoys me because it's the idea that doesn't matter, it's the men who are accused of rape that are the losers.

OP posts:
Neverknowing · 10/08/2017 21:03

It's only a meme by the way. Ofc it's not a real thing at all but it's the entitled comments that have annoyed me.
It's insane to me that so many men really have this way of thinking. I'm honestly sad.

OP posts:
DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 10/08/2017 21:15

What if you change your mind during? Or don't want to do a particular 'act'? They can just 'keep going' cos the woman signed? Idiotic.

AssassinatedBeauty · 10/08/2017 21:21

It's telling that it says "do not confess..." - what to? Why would confessing even be relevant, it's not as if they'll be raping anyone, surely?

Xenophile · 10/08/2017 21:24

The really sickening thing is that this is a US Military meme.

In the US military, there is an eye poppingly high proportion of female service persons having been the victim of sexual assault or rape. And yet, there is a belief that, along with campus rape, these are "women changing their minds" because women always lie about having been raped.

No military is perfect, but the only military where women cannot serve alongside males in forward operating bases in the US. Because, even though they won't investigate properly, even the chain of command knows that rape is endemic.

Plus what everyone else has said.

VestalVirgin · 10/08/2017 21:58

No military is perfect, but the only military where women cannot serve alongside males in forward operating bases in the US. Because, even though they won't investigate properly, even the chain of command knows that rape is endemic.

To be honest, if I were in the position to decide things, I would completely separate female soldiers from male soldiers. Like, completely different chains of command, everything. Everywhere.

Because men rape, it is bad enough on uni campuses, and the military attracts a kind of man that's if at all possible even worse.

And we all know how unlikely it is that a rapist will be properly punished.

Kursk · 10/08/2017 22:20

VestalVirgin

The military wouldn't want to become segregated. It's too complicated. In the field everyone is treated the same.

The military focuses on the practical stuff. People's feelings don't matter. Hence why American soldiers were GI's stands for General Issue

VestalVirgin · 10/08/2017 22:43

Oh, I am perfectly aware that no one cares about women, and therefore, no one would like my decisions.

Still, I would make them.

DeleteOrDecay · 10/08/2017 23:15

Ugh. Stop the world I want to get off.

DJBaggySmalls · 11/08/2017 01:13

There was a 'consent condom' produced at one point. The packet recorded your fingerprint and the date, and that was somehow supposed to prove you have consented.

www.menstuff.org/archives/consentcondoms.html

VestalVirgin · 11/08/2017 01:38

It is always great when men use such things, one then knows to avoid them.

Kursk · 11/08/2017 04:15

I would be very interested to see the stats for rape for the Israeli military as they have a large number of women serving.

MrGHardy · 11/08/2017 07:03

No officer, I'm not drunk, see...whoops.

Neverknowing · 11/08/2017 08:29

The thing that made me most angry was that it's focusing on the idea that women falsely accuse men of rape? Which is obviously very rare compared to women who are actually getting raped?!
It's fine though because we don't want to ruin a mans precious reputation 🙄

OP posts:
Datun · 11/08/2017 08:39

The thing that made me most angry was that it's focusing on the idea that women falsely accuse men of rape?

It's an idea that has definitely taken hold. It's almost as if men feel there is a grey area when it comes to consent and they might inadvertently fall into it.

MrGHardy · 11/08/2017 08:43

There are certainly some men that believe the incident of false rape accusation is high, and that since false accusations do not carry the same sentence that the entire thing is a female conspiracy. It's the typical "why should we change anything to make it better for you when there's that thing that is bad for us" excuse.

Datun · 11/08/2017 09:32

The thing about false accusations is they are incredibly rare. The majority of times, the women drop the case. That does not mean she is making it up. If there is proof she is making it up, she will be prosecuted.

When people see a woman has dropped the case, they automatically think she made it up. Not so.

I believe someone mentioned a third verdict is possible in Scotland? That of not proven? And that many rape prosecutions result in this verdict.

I wonder if that carries any kind of publicly perceived implication. Do people see it as good as guilty?

Neverknowing · 11/08/2017 09:41

Exactly that @Datun !
When I was raped I truly believe he didn't think it was rape. I'd said no while he man handled me for an hour and then when I stopped fighting he raped me ... he says that's the same as consenting. There comes the 'grey area'.
I didn't even go to the police as they laughed at the woman he raped before me - he's sexually assaulted 6 people now. Yes women withdraw their accusations, but this is mostly because we don't want to be prodded and treated like we're lying. It should be treated like any other traumatic experience, but you're treated like a liar.

OP posts:
MrGHardy · 11/08/2017 09:43

Well, some men will see it as "that evil bitch ruined that poor blokes life". In a he-said-she-said of course the he must be right. You hear what you wanna hear, sadly. And in the wake of Brexit and Trump, studies have shown that even the truth or facts won't change that, if anything make people more antagonistic, and believe even more.

Infowars1 · 11/08/2017 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AssassinatedBeauty · 11/08/2017 10:45

@Neverknowing Flowers it's shocking that the police can respond that way. This man that attacked you knows that you didn't consent and that he raped you. It's mind games from him to suggest otherwise, gaslighting really.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.