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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Father's Day Poster

25 replies

NoLoveofMine · 14/06/2017 17:24

More a minor annoyance than a major issue but I saw the attached poster in my local shopping centre and was somewhat unimpressed. The notion it's only sons who want/need "heroes", that you wouldn't see mothers portrayed as "heroic" for Mother's Day (unless for doing the stereotypical "mother's" roles in the home and even then not in these terms), the idea of fathers being a daughter's "first love" which in my opinion subtly feeds into patriarchal ownership and the whole "dads don't want their daughters to start dating" nonsense (I understand if some would consider this a bit of a stretch but the connotations of this attitude are there to me).

I know it's "just" a poster but in my opinion it's just another drip feed of all these messages.

OP posts:

MrsGWay · 14/06/2017 18:10

Hero - sexist as in it implies to be a hero you have to be male. We will never see that on a Mothers' Day poster.

First Love - this actually makes me feel sick. That phrase relates romantic/sexual desires rather than parental love, so utterly inappropriate IMO. If that isn't what they mean then it is insulting to the mother as are they saying all children love their fathers more?

Original poster

NoLoveofMine · 14/06/2017 18:20

I concur, that's a large part of what irked me about it. You'd never see a Mother's Day with a similar depiction of heroic mother with her child/ren and accompanying text. Only fathers are heroic because as you say, to be a hero and have such traits you have to be male.

I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt over "first love" but that's the kind of impression I got as well. I suppose if parental love it's suggesting a daughter loves her father most, probably because he's a hero and will protect/look after her until her future husband takes her off his hands.

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MrsGWay · 14/06/2017 18:25

Thinking about it a little more there is also the stereotyping of boys and girls too. Boys want a hero and girls want someone to love. I can't articulate this very well though but it is annoying.

I'm not sure there isn't a bit of homophobia in there too.

Original poster

NoLoveofMine · 14/06/2017 18:30

I didn't think I was articulating it too well but I think you have! The suggestion of the difference in what girls and boys want irked me as well - it also suggests boys will go on to be active, heroic, heroes themselves one day whilst girls want to fall in love.

OP posts:

Daddy89997 · 14/06/2017 18:34

There's nothing wrong with the ad. Yes, women can be heroes and daughters love their mothers too. So what? Does it have to be mentioned? Is it not obvious to everyone?

Original poster

NoLoveofMine · 14/06/2017 18:39

No seeing as you'd never see it on a Mother's Day poster.

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LorLorr2 · 14/06/2017 18:42

I can see the poster uses stereotypes but I don't think it's harmful or anything.
It looks like it's been nicked from America as well what with the cheesy hero thing and the daddy-daughter relationship which they seem put a lot of emphasis on out there!

Original poster

NoLoveofMine · 14/06/2017 18:44

I don't think it's harmful or anything.

It reinforces the idea only males are heroic and want a hero to aspire to (father and son) whilst girls aren't and don't. It's harmful seen in the context of a society which consistently sends out such messages.

I'm going to ask my dad what he thinks of the notion of being my "first love" though.

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bluechameleon · 14/06/2017 19:03

I find it a bit unsettling. The idea of "first love" reminds me a bit of those Americans who make those chastity pledges wearing wedding dresses and get rings from their dads. And I really hope that any carer can be any child's hero regardless of their gender or title.

troodiedoo · 14/06/2017 19:09

Cringey and dated. What shop was it?

Original poster

NoLoveofMine · 14/06/2017 19:13

Quite bluechameleon.

It was the shopping centre itself not a specific shop - I believe it's owned by "British Land".

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unicorn5629 · 14/06/2017 19:16

But on Mother's Day there's plenty around about how a mum can in some cases be a mother and a father...due to absent fathers.
The first love thing is cringe.. I agree but let them be heroes, doesn't mean to say a mother can't be too :)

PrincessToadinTheHole · 14/06/2017 19:36

It's really gross. Weird the way they have to make it separate for boys and girls.

@daddy88897 would you not find it weird to see a poster that said "Dad, a boy's first love"

They've seperated it down gender lines because one might be seen as 'gay' and if that's gay wtf are they implying?

That's ignoring the whole dad's are heroes and boys want to be heroes thing which is shit enough before you get in to the whole marry your dad at the purity ball vibe.

powershowerforanhour · 14/06/2017 23:37

What a guy. Women want him, men want to be him. Agree, easiest way to work out if sexist is to ask if there would be a "dad, a boy's first love" poster. Hell no.

Childrenofthestones · 15/06/2017 00:46

Well if it makes you feel any better my daughters school, like many ive heard of, don't acknowledge fathers day or make cards to take home as they do on mothers day.

LuisCarol · 15/06/2017 01:30

There's nothing wrong with the ad. Yes, women can be heroes and daughters love their mothers too. So what? Does it have to be mentioned? Is it not obvious to everyone?

Poster that says mum is a son's first hero, and a daughter's first love.

Poster that says mum is a daughter's first hero, and a son's first love.

Poster that says dad is a daughter's first hero, and a son's first love.

When you find all these, we talk.

Datun · 15/06/2017 08:05

@daddy88897 would you not find it weird to see a poster that said "Dad, a boy's first love"

They've seperated it down gender lines because one might be seen as 'gay' and if that's gay wtf are they implying?

Well exactly. It's all too easy to see it as harmless, until you flip it.

Original poster

NoLoveofMine · 15/06/2017 10:13

Well if it makes you feel any better my daughters school, like many ive heard of, don't acknowledge fathers day or make cards to take home as they do on mothers day.

Why would reinforcing the idea that parenting is the role of women and erasing fathers in this caregiving role "make me feel better"

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Original poster

NoLoveofMine · 15/06/2017 10:18

Exactly LuisCarol.

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PoochSmooch · 15/06/2017 11:53

That is one gross poster, for all the reasons above.

The person who buys this poster then goes on to post memes on facebook threatening his daughter's future suitors with harm if they disrespect his princess. Blurgh!

I'm a Daddy's girl myself, in the sense that we're closer than my mother and I are, but not in this sense of ownership/lack of boundaries/conflation of healthy and unhealthy love that the poster glorifies.

If that still wasn't enough, for those who prefer men in their feminist analysis ( ) why aren't sons allowed to love their dads? What message does that send to boys?

IGotTheMustardOut · 15/06/2017 11:55

I did see a Mother's Day poster saying "Not all Heroes wear capes"

FreakOfNurture · 15/06/2017 11:56

My son and daughter would find this poster gross, and they'd find people who come on a feminist chat board to defend it a bit gross, too.

FreakOfNurture · 15/06/2017 11:57

My daughter has called me her hero. She thinks her father is a nob.

ALittleBitOfButter · 15/06/2017 12:11

Well I think the idea that a little girl falls in love with her father to be unutterably creepy. The idea that it is a thing that is common enough to be slathered over posters is even more creepy. Is it a rite of passage? Is this how fathers want their little girls to think of them? As a mother it's certainly not how I want my little girl to think of me.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 15/06/2017 16:50

Ugh I second the PP who said that the "first love" thing is like those horrific chastity vows. This is one thing we definitely do not need to import from the US thank you very much.

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