Learning about transgender issues

[WelshMoth]

...from the point of view of a 15 yr old girl. She asked me whether I knew of any websites or suitable reading materials where she could learn about Transgender issues. I probed a bit, explained that it's a massive issue and said I'd seek advice.

She's 15 and has bisexual feelings. She hasn't told her parents because they say homophobic things and would fall out her. She has been seeing a 17 year old girl and this girl has just admitted to having feelings of confusion and feels she is transgender. The 15 year old wants to learn about this issue so she can support her girlfriend.

I've emailed our school Counselor but I've just learned that she is on secondment. I looked at Stonewalls website and it seemed really heavy for a 15 yr old. Does anyone here know of any material that could be suitable?

To be honest, in this day of internet savvy-ness, I don't know why she hasn't already researched it. It crossed my mind fleetingly that she was trying to get my opinion but I'm staying away from that one. I just want to try and get hold of some simple, non-biased and honest literature to explain to teenagers about this minefield issue.

The only resources I know of are blogs ... the 4thwavenow blog is a place for parents, but since she's in the position that someone she knows and loves identifies as transgender, perhaps that's a good place to start.

Thanks Vestal - it's a good place for me to start. I think, because I'm in a position of trust here, I'll run everything by the School pastoral team. I'm uncomfortable with providing info that parents may kick-off (rightly or wrongly) about. That's said, our school has employed a TRA (I won't go into more detail but I know that as a fact) and I don't want them to be alerted and give them any reason to speak to this child.

Argh this is so difficult!

All I can suggest is that your advice/suggested reading is fair and balanced. Please do not just give one side of the story. She deserves to be able to make up her own mind and support her gf in the best way possible.

Some of the 4th wave reading is massively negative towards this issue. Equally, some of the pro media is massively one sided and skewed.

As a teacher, I would feel it my duty and obligation to allow her to find her own way. I realise you have not said your relationship but this is my professional opinion.

It might be worth contacting the tavistock centre? I don't know what their website is like but it might be more neutral than other sources.

Mermaids is an organization to steer well clear of. They put on videos of cool smiling teens but their agenda is irresponsible and homophobic.

I would stay away from mermaids and stonewall tbh. Stonewall would likely end up convincing the 15 year old that she is trans too..given their definition of trans includes every person I know

4thwavenow is good from a gender critical standpoint but if shes looking to support her girlfriend..maybe not. Though it could be useful for the 'support' to be convincing her NOT to go down the hormones etc route. But that support could push her away.

Tavistock centre is probably good advice. They seem to be the most neutral of all. Not sure if they would just give advice to someone with a questioning partner though, rather than assess the partner themselves?

4thwavenow is good from a gender critical standpoint but if shes looking to support her girlfriend..maybe not. Though it could be useful for the 'support' to be convincing her NOT to go down the hormones etc route. But that support could push her away.

Possibly. But in the end, how likely is it that a lesbian relationship survives one of them starting hormones and surgery to look like a man?
(And not only could the one who is not transitioning cease being attracted to the transitioning one, there's reason to assume that testosterone can turn lesbians straight, which would mean the transitioner might not be attracted to her girlfriend anymore.)

There's a high chance of that relationship breaking apart if the 15 year old supports the hormones and surgery route.

Youth Transcritical Professionals is good for the nuts and bolts of what's wrong with the current medical approach.

Purple Sage is a gender critical lesbian blog. The vogue for transgender teens appears to be doing more harm to girls than boys, partly because there are more of them, partly because cross sex hormones do more physical damage to girls and, probably most importantly, because the lesbian community is seeing so many young lesbians lost to a way of life fuelled by internalized misogyny and homophobia. There are plenty of gay role models. Where are the lesbian role models?

All I can suggest is that your advice/suggested reading is fair and balanced. Please do not just give one side of the story. She deserves to be able to make up her own mind and support her gf in the best way possible.

I totally agree, Kat. I'm desperate to do the right thing here.

Maybe also providing positive lesbian role moels would help in case she was starting from a point of self-hatred bcause she is same-sex attracted?

All I can suggest is that your advice/suggested reading is fair and balanced. Please do not just give one side of the story. She deserves to be able to make up her own mind and support her gf in the best way possible

Mmmm. In the current climate being able to see beyond the accusations of terfdom and phobia put out by the TRA mob takes a great amount of self-confience and critical thinking skills though. I don't think it is simply a case of weighing up A and B because A has so much more force, power and potential persuasion than B, as well as being politically correct and not being averse to playing dirty pool.

Researching the side effects of puberty blockers and cross sex hormones on female bodies would be both helpful and, theoretically, neutral. The side effects are pretty horrific. I saw theoretical because TRAs like to ignore the side effects or lie about them.

Yetanother. I am not saying the op's teenager should see what is more persuasive, but only that she should be able to make up her own mind, regardless of the opinion of the OP or anyone else. I did not say that she should only see the 'TRA' as you put it side of things, how do you know I'm not advocating to only tear the ideas apart?

This is the pdf information leaflet on "bottom surgery" for transmen produced by GIRES, an organisation of trans people and the surgeons who support their transitions. So it's basically "on the side of uncritical transition", but as a gender critical feminist, I read the sections on loss of sexual sensation and possible side-effects and just think "why the fuck would anyone think doing this to their body was a good idea?"

I presume it must be driven by desperate levels of bodily dysphoria, but it's certainly "informed consent" - you know exactly what's going to be done to you. It might make an interesting read for your 15 year old friend.

I asked her if she was aware of the term "bodily dysphoria" and she isn't. I wonder whether that is a good starting point? Also, I am really wondering how to put into words my concerns and my need for her to use a bit of critical thinking in all of this? As YetAnotherSpartacus points out, the current climate is full of mine-fields and I want her to be wary and critical of what she reads.

if only I could have some of your minds and abilities to explain things simply

Feminism would be a good starting point, I reckon. For both of them.

What's your relationship to these girls? It sounds like you might work in a school where the 15 y/o is a pupil? If so you might not have much leeway to suggest resources. If I were you I'd check school policies first!

Transgender Trend have put together some resources for parents and for schools. I haven't looked through them in much detail though.

I agree that feminism, especially lesbian feminism would be a good idea. There's also a danger of going into extreme when the girl might only see trans as a name change and a short hairstyle.

Thanks everyone.
Pencils I am a subject tutor to her and was previously her form tutor for 2 years. She trusts me so I'm not surprised that she's approached me with this. I'm going to be getting advice from my SLT before talking to her.

Please don't be fobbed off with a non gender critical approach. I have no idea why the teaching profession have abandoned all reason when it comes to this subject, but there needs to be a push back. It is so damaging to accept the TRA bullshit without questioning.

Firstshinyrobe please don't be so patronising and dismissive of teachers thank you. Perhaps it is our duty to give both sides to students.

Same with politics, same with personal views, everything.

We are open minded and cannot influence students one way or the other, especially in a situation like this.

Both sides?

Kat - you are completely missing my point above, and I think you are missing others' points too. No one is saying she should only see what is the most persuasive. I don't know how you took this from my post. I was saying, as the OP realised, that it takes a great amount of self-confidence and critical thinking skills to negotiate the minefield that is the debate between 'both sides' when the TRA side is not averse to some quite underhand persuasion army tactics and is largely the politically correct view even if it is illogical and full of holes.

Open mindedness is crucial in life. It's not always seen though.

The OP should ensure that she gives the student access to a range of materials without bias. Just because this doesn't fit with your personal opinion does not mean that a student should not be able to educate herself to both sides of the debate. Some of the 'anti-trans' material out there is equally biased and emotive to me.

A good teacher provides materials, they don't brainwash in any direction