Learning about transgender issues

[WelshMoth]

...from the point of view of a 15 yr old girl. She asked me whether I knew of any websites or suitable reading materials where she could learn about Transgender issues. I probed a bit, explained that it's a massive issue and said I'd seek advice.

She's 15 and has bisexual feelings. She hasn't told her parents because they say homophobic things and would fall out her. She has been seeing a 17 year old girl and this girl has just admitted to having feelings of confusion and feels she is transgender. The 15 year old wants to learn about this issue so she can support her girlfriend.

I've emailed our school Counselor but I've just learned that she is on secondment. I looked at Stonewalls website and it seemed really heavy for a 15 yr old. Does anyone here know of any material that could be suitable?

To be honest, in this day of internet savvy-ness, I don't know why she hasn't already researched it. It crossed my mind fleetingly that she was trying to get my opinion but I'm staying away from that one. I just want to try and get hold of some simple, non-biased and honest literature to explain to teenagers about this minefield issue.

The only times I have seen trans-allies actually engage and proffer an argument (after it's been deconstructed), it always just comes down to a feeling. An essence. Something they're not quite sure about but it exists

There are TRAs and other 'older' trans from the earlier ere that come here and they are very different (as you know).

I might be wrong, but often, for the 'older' transwomen this is about bodies rather than feelings about gender. And usually they name it as a mental illness. And I have no problem with most of these people.

Also, most tell of 'always knowing' something was wrong or always feeling alien in their bodies.

The young woman in the OP's post sounds more like she woke up one day and thought she might be trans, which is a whole other ball game.

I might be wrong, but often, for the 'older' transwomen this is about bodies rather than feelings about gender. And usually they name it as a mental illness. And I have no problem with most of these people.

I agree. And if this hadn't been hijacked to push a belief system, none of this rights issue would have come up.

I'll address some points when I can but I wanted to respond to Datun.

The only thing she has told me is that her girlfriend has said she thinks she's transgender. The girlfriend has no family support and has told no one else. Nothing about transitioning.

I have said that this is something that she needs support with, and the support of a trained counselor as opposed to a naive yet well-meaning girlfriend.

I've sent n email to our Pastoral lead asking about school policy.

I have said that this is something that she needs support with, and the support of a trained counselor as opposed to a naive yet well-meaning girlfriend

Agree - I hope though that she can find a counsellor who can actually think, as opposed to one who will simply push her on the bandwagon :(

Agree - I hope though that she can find a counsellor who can actually think, as opposed to one who will simply push her on the bandwagon

Very, very unlikely, though. There was this transwoman on mumsnet who reported it being impossible to find a therapist who'd not push them on the medical transition bandwagon but instead help to treat the dysphoria.

And parents who want help for their children have had to research experts on anorexia to get the children help instead of hormones and surgery.

If you just seek out the next best counsellor ... chances are they'll push towards transitioning.

I hope WelshMoth's wellmeaning actions don't put this 18 year old on the path of no return.

WelshMoth

This is a minefield. And a responsibility that neither you nor the school should have to shoulder.

Unfortunately we have heard time again, both on this forum and others that if you are worried you are transgender one of the first things is that you will be pushed for treatment. The treatment only goes one way. If you have gender dysphoria, there is no NHS recourse for ongoing psychiatric care.

You don't want puberty blockers and hormones? Then go away, we don't have enough money/resources to treat you.

So then they go back online for support and are told they need to get with the programme as the only means.

It's bad enough for somebody who does have gender dysphoria, but it's a catastrophic nightmare for someone who is just messing around with their personal identity, for whatever reason.

My advice, and it is benign, is to discuss gender dysphoria with this girl in order to get her to discuss it with her friend.

Get her to try and keep it within the realms of a medical condition in order to separate an illness, from the understandable (and fairly rational, but ultimately damaging) fear of being a woman.

Gender dysphoria is not a belief system. The trans-ideology is.

Bob that's a really good question that I'm still yet to get answers to. The talk had most staff looking really unimpressed and some, totally agog.

As a parent, I would have been bouncing that permission wasn't sought beforehand.

I hope WelshMoth's wellmeaning actions don't put this 18 year old on the path of no return. 

Vestal, that's the last thing I want. I really don't want to direct this youngster down any path before I know that it is the safest route to education. And before anyone tries to suggest that I'm possibly biased, I promise I'm trying my very best not to be but the climate in which I work seems to not have any idea of what we should be saying, hence the "women have penis and men have vaginas" belief has been given a voice.

Anyway, just checked my emails and it seems I need to leave well alone. It's not in our policy to interfere and I should direct the pupil to the many posters placed around the school. This has come from the top so I'm going to have to tell the pupil that I cannot help.

What do the posters say?

First that was exactly my first thought. Going to have a walk around school tomorrow and look for myself. Whatever they say though, I have to direct my pupil to them, and to them only.

Surely pastoral staff have to support students, not just ask them to read posters?

I bet they are from Gendered Intelligence. An organisation that, on the face of it, seem perfectly reasonable. Lots of talk about breaking down gender stereotypes and all that. All very feministy. Until it comes to trans where all of a sudden, stereotypes agogo. Bait and switch.

First that was exactly my first thought. Going to have a walk around school tomorrow and look for myself. Whatever they say though, I have to direct my pupil to them, and to them only

Is that usual? I mean would the school say the same if you were supporting over other issues such as domestic violence, mental health concerns, eating disorders or similar? Or is this the policy for trans only? Seems to me the response to have when you are too intimidated or otherwise scared to think for yourself (referring to the 'top' here and not to you, Welsh).

My org now has clear and explicit policy re requiring we refer to sex as determined by bodies and gender as what we feel inside. There are strict penalties for misgendering. I will have to step away from discussing anything about gender, womens oppression I think, because I can't risk getting it wrong upsetting the men.

sigh well, that appears to be it. Trans-Koolaid has been swallowed by the school, no free thinking allowed. I would be very, very, very surprised if those posters were anything but pro-gender-stereotyping.

I'd explicitly tell her that I sadly am not allowed to refer her to sites such as 4thwavenow, or X, Y or Z (insert gender-critical sites here) because it is posters only, but I'm not the one in danger of losing a job, so ...

Do what's best for you. :(