Finsbury Park murder (warning: distressing child death). THIS IS MALE VIOLENCE. Why is it not being named?

[BertieBotts]

I'm so upset after reading the reports about this tonight. I won't link because it really is that awful, (they were just little babies :() but suffice to say, yet another attack on women and children, named as "domestic". Oh don't worry everyone, he wasn't a psycho or anything, it's just domestic! It's just fucking endemic, you mean. Because it's not like domestic magically means that each incident is isolated, except wait, no, that's literally how it is treated. ALL THE TIME.

Why is it only ever women's organisations who seem to care about these patterns? Why do we continue to glamourise control and emotional abuse in our media depictions of relationships when it's just the thin end of the wedge which ends in men killing women or men killing women's children in order to punish the woman? (Arguably worse). Why do we promote ultra-violent, misogynistic porn as something normal? Why do we laugh off male aggression?

Do we not get it? Do we not see the patterns? Because I see them ALL THE TIME and I don't know what to do about it, it really makes me despair.

Abusers are commonly jealous with no evidence. And even if the children were fathered by somebody else, which is a horrible thing to speculate about, that doesn't take ANYTHING away from the awfulness of his actions.

I don't have a problem with other cases being discussed on the thread. I also thought about the 19yo who told police her ex was a threat and they didn't believe her.

I'm glad there will be an SCR. Actually you're right I remember this coming into news a while ago and I think it's a good move.

Nothing gets learned. The same shit is wheeled out over and over again.

Bertie, that case destroyed me. That poor woman, fined for "wasting police time". But AF's right. Nothing will be learned, each case is completely individual and unrelated to every single other and we'll always have fucking idiots coming onto threads like these making snarky remarks and thinking they're funny.

Actually I was the one who mentioned the possible parentage ,not to speculate but in answer to someone asking why this happened.I have boy/girl twins and could have been in that situation at one point myself.Consequently I find this horribly tragic and just so sad.
I also really object to the media calling these cases domestics - they're not.They are evil individuals seeking to domineer,denigrate,bully and violently and mentally abuse family members because they have a right to.You can't change these individuals and the love of a good women does not make them better believe me.I've been there.

Of course the pattern is all too sadly familiar, absolutely agree RedBug

Anyone can see the depressing pattern and it's world wide too.

If two men a week were killed by their partners, you can be sure that something would be done about it. No way would excuses be made such as she snapped and was a pinnacle of the community and a doting mother.

There was one poster who reported as the last straw that her husband said he would piss on her grave. Some posters came on to ask what she had done to provoke such a response. Her fault of course for such a vile sentiment.

Absolutely understand your OP Bertie I feel this rage too.

I got your point, teta, it was more the media speculating which was horrible to me.

and