DH says 'most women don't give a shit about this'

[Albadross]

I get that we have a precious little echo chamber here, but is he right that most of the women in the western world just don;t care, don;t see the need and wish we'd all FTFO?

Could you write us a list of whgat we're allowed to be concerned about please?

We will of course then only be concerned about the things you tell us to be.

Cheers.

In the teenage girls I teach, I do occasionally encounter what I think of in my head as a young, wealthy, educated, white sense of privilege that says: I'm all right and thus there is no need for feminism. Showing zero awareness of everything feminism has achieved thus far to provide the security we have so far as women - they take it entirely for granted, and show no awareness of how urgent the global need still is.

Fortunately, I meet more young women who are aware of how far we have come and aware also of how unequal the world still is and that there are still batles to be fought. They are aware of the insiduous misogyny that pollutes our lives, the everyday sexism that we are supposed to put up with and shut up about because hey, we have the vote now.

Most people don't give a shit about a lot of things. HTH.

Another one waiting for clarification of the 'this' before I respond properly

I'm so relieved now. I mean, he's a man, he knows best what women think.

Oh I think he's probably right, if feminism is what he means. Few people care much about abstractions. However, if they find that someone working with them with less experience is being paid more than they are, or if they find their daughter's friend at school has disappeared this summer and come back looking traumatised and refusing to answer questions about what happened when they went home for a few months, then they give all kinds of shit. They might not call it feminism though.

Of course he knows best about what "most women" think.
He is a man of course.
Men have special access to the thoughts of women and know exactly what our opinions are on all subjects, much better than we know ourselves.
In fact it's even possible to think you have one opinion when in reality you think something else, and it often takes a man to point that out!
Men are so great. So, so great. Let's all take a moment to think about how great men are.

I assume the OP is referring to feminism, right?

If so, OP you're lucky. Whenever I start talking about a feminist point of view I have DP saying "most women would disagree with you on that" or (with the burka etc, not exactly a direct experience of ours) I get "so many women around the world would disagree with you, and what you're saying is imperialist. Why should you impose your views on other cultures?"

He has a point. I mean I disagree with FGM and women having to cover up, it's blatant misogyny. But if I lived in that culture I'd probably resent that viewpoint.

Most women are, unfortunately, compliant to their oppression. Some eagerly embrace it. Feminist thinking is rare.

MissyMerry this sounds too familiar! I assume he can only make tea while standing directly over it. If he walks away the tea is forgotten about entirely so left to stew...

I have an identical problem lol.

I suggest insisting on a tea-alarm set to the perfect brewing strength.

What does he think we don't care about? I care, deeply, 'bout lot's of things. It's not honey badgers is it because I bloody love honey badgers. If there is some random dh running around accusing me, well known honey badger lover of NOT loving honey badgers I will be really cross.

Let's at least be glad that his is not mansplaining

albadross I don't mean this nastily but I couldn't give a flying one what your husband thinks about any topic. I don't know him!
If my husband was being that dismissive of something I found interesting or wanted to discuss I would think he was being a knob.

Always nice when men think they know us and our cares better than we know ourselves.

If this thread is about new shoes and handbags then we very much give a shit.

Shoes are seriously important. The right pair of trainers has made all the difference to my running.

I care very much about who had the juciest bunions on show at the Oscars.

Is that what he means?

MissyMerry - I like very weak milky tea, TBH, I'm fine with it cold too (I am quite easily distracted, and have become used to coming back to a cup of tea 30 mins later and just drinking it anyway because otherwise I'd have to go downstairs and make another).

I've been with DP for more than 10 years. He still makes it too strong for me, and, on occasion, he's added sugar. I protest every time and remind him how I like it - he insists I'm wrong and he's trying to convert me.

He will not break me. I like my tea how I like it and will not be converted!

As to feminism, well, I quite like the right to vote and own property, have a job despite having kids, being able to have my own bank account etc. so yes, I'm a feminist - I think if you talk to women, in general, they agree with all that.

What they don't like is the word 'feminist' because that makes men wrinkle up their noses and potentially get angry - it's self-protection, which is something feminists can completely understand, even if it's frustrating. It's very clever on the part of men as a class - make us afraid of even attempting to organise ourselves because they'll disapprove - and we all know what happens when men disapprove of something women do.

I am passionate about tea strength and accurate scientific reporting (sometimea in that order). Less bothered by toilet brushes tbh.

Clearly not as concerned with editing grammar/spelling as I should be though, considering my profession

Actually, I was pleasantly surprised on International Womens' Day at the amount of people who I had prejudged to be vacuous twats that posted awareness about the suffragette movement and other pertinent moments.
I feel a lot of women may 'think' they aren't aware/not bothered but when look at themselves closely are more enlightened than they think and care a lot more.
I also see a lot of younger girls embracing the strong women ideology which is great.

Could 'this' be the opinions of Albadross' DH? Because I can certainly say I don't give a toss about whatever it is he thinks. I have a feeling most other women would agree with me.

microferret

Putting tools, specifically my tools back in their proper place is this. And I care very much.

Alternatively, if he thinks most women don't care that they have the vote, rights to their own children and property on divorce, rights to sign financial agreements in their own name, the right not to be raped by their husbands legally and right to work without being sacked for being a woman, he's a bit dense really isn't he?

I very, very much care. I cannot think of a single woman in my family, friends or colleagues that don't care.

Is it more likely that I only mix in the 10% or that your husband is talking out of his arse?

Tonka4
Pyongyang that's true, but women have all those things now so I think many feel it's redundant now. At least in the western world. If you want to talk about how women are treated in other parts of the world, the Middle East in particular, that's a whole other kettle of fish.

OK, sure. There are no DV shelter spaces in Sheffield right now, and some girls are too poor to afford sanpro so they can go to school; but you keep peddling that line.
Meanwhile we are about to be erased thanks to gender self identity.

Hi OP, I just did a quick survey of most women, and they said they didn't give a shit what your dh says.

nobody