Dr Tanya Byron ignoring gendered violence

[MrsToddsShortcut]

Apologies for the paywall, it's The Times. I'm genuinely gobsmacked that Tanya is totally overlooking the bullying a teenage girl is receiving at the hands of a another kid, despite the fact that it's physical assault.

Yes, bullies have issues and yes this child need support, but the poor bullied girl is basically being told to suck up the physical and emotional bullying because the other child's feelings are more important. She's being set up for a lifetime of toxic relationships where she is walked all over, unless the adults in her life help her to recognise that the other child's bullying is absolutely not her responsibility.

I can't believe Tanya Byron gave this advice!

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/tanya-byron-my-granddaughters-transgender-friend-is-bullying-her-pm7mnj8hp

I've always thought TB was a bit weird and often talked crap, but she's taking it to a whole new level here!!

I find the whole issue extremely worrying, where is it all going to end?

Have tweeted tb along the lines of why do the rights of transgender people trump that of others?

So many head explosions today. Women should not have to put up with this shit.

Time for the menz to back off.

I'm sick to the back teeth of Trans people (mostly Trans women if we are honest) being positioned as the most vulnerable and fragile in society who we all have to accommodate. They're fucking not and I for one will not pretend for one more moment. Christ on a bike they've done a number on us haven't they what with so many bleating this nonsense unquestioningly.

I'm hugely disappointed in TB I thought she was quite sensible.

Surely it's entirely possible to have empathy with someone else's situation without having to allow yourself to become a personal punch bag ?

This is weird advice.

And the question "where will it end?"

Me? I'm hoping for a backlash of epic proportions but fear it's too far gone.

It's interesting that she suggests the gd could be being bullied by other people due to her association with the pupil who believes they're a girl. No suggestion that gd's 'friend' is displaying unacceptable behaviour towards her.

It's almost like TB couldn't wait to get a trans question and spew out all the right on stuff she's been saving up to show how in touch she is. Educated professional people ought to be able to keep a sense of perspective when faced with such issues but obviously (and sadly) not.

Omg. That is shocking!

It's as if she had read the problem as "how can my gd be a better trans ally", than how can I stop my gd being bullied.

Yy

So sick of this shit and very disappointed in TB.

Missy "I've always thought TB was a bit weird and often talked crap, but she's taking it to a whole new level here!!"

I was going to say eactly the same! She often, IMO gives out very strange advice which leaves me angry and confused. This isn't the first time she will take someone problem and absolutley minimise it. She's an idiot!

I have too. Gratifying to see so many people questioning this.

Me too, the advice given is hideous, like something from the dark ages. the brave new world and look at who has to suck up all the male violence and do all the fucking emotional donkey work. So transphobic bullying bad but plain old girl bullying is just fine and dandy, I could weep.

I keep thinking nothing else can suprise me and then something else does.

I found the comment that said the bully may well be testing his female identity out against the girl odd. I can't articukate it properly but it kind of felt like TB was implying it something common among girls, that we test our femininity or whatever out by pushing each other around, that's not common teenage girl behaviour! It is common teenage boy behaviour though. Funny that.

Its like that young girl was being guilted into shutting the fuck up because her bully's feelings are more important. Lots of talk about how important it is the bully feels safe and included and a list of organisations and suggestions to for the grandparents give the school to achieve this. No advice to give to the school to ensure the victim of bullying is kept safe.

If I was speaking to the school to discuss bullying, it would be with the aim of them making the bully adjust their behaviour so that my Daughter feels safe and included FFS. Not the other way around.

If the girl displayed the same behaviour, teasing her MtT friend about their make up and pushed them around, there would be a witch hunt if the advice was all about understanding the bully and keeping them safe. The TAs would be demanding the bully be expelled,mentioning sucide figures etc. I hope the grandparents follow the comments advice instead of TB's

I saw a tweet earlier where someone tried to Google how many women have been murdered in 2017 and the too results, in fact majority of first page results are stats for Transwomen.

I can't think of a single person who bullied me in school who wasn't doing it from a 'place of vulnerability'. Schools are required to have a bullying policy in place and she should have explained that in her reply. Told them to speak to the school. To support the girl and let her know that she can put herself first. How horrible to one home from school to be told that you need to see it from their point of view.

I'm not keen on that Ditch The Label advice either, to be honest. It sounds like the person being bullied has to do a lot of work, and how are you meant to get the bully on their own for a neutral conversation without it massively backfiring anyway?

Perhaps support in transitioning is highly lucrative in the world of psychology at the minute and career wise taking a stance which can be seen as anti- T is professionally unwise for Tanya Byron,

This is absolutely fucking shocking. I have well and truly had enough of this shit.

Just read Tanya's advice on the other problem (the 70 year old man).What a load of tripe. Someone should tell her that it's possible to date someone without allowing them to move in. Living together isn't compulsory, if the other person doesn't want to 'commit ' then you either accept it or move on.
In what way is this woman qualified to advise other people? Hopefully everyone ignores her dreadful advice.

The bullying needs to be understood as coming from a place of vulnerability

Oh fuck right off with that shit. REALLY? Ladies, it is getting very frightening out there!!!

CoolJazz Can you just explain where the GIB is up to? I think it is a private member's bill. Is there any chance of it getting passed?

I think Sarah Champion is (or at least was) fully on the trans bus unfortunately.

Yorkshire, maybe she's done a modicum of reading since. We can but hope.

"I can't think of a single person who bullied me in school who wasn't doing it from a 'place of vulnerability'. "

YYYYYYY. With the odd exception all bullies are vulnerable - how many kids have we looked at with a mixture of pity and dislike, because we know that they are going back to homes where they themselves are being horribly bullied, often by abusive parents and that's what they've learned at home.

Everyone knows that. But no one thinks that because that's often the case, that means their victim owes them empathy, sympathy, understanding and tolerance. We know that with other bullies, despite their sometimes pitiable lives, their victims owe them jack shit.

Only transbullies are owed this special deference.

FFS.

Male bullies are given every benefit of a doubt, and transbullies are a subset of males.

I'm thinking specifically of how convicted rapists are often given absurd sympathies for their damaged reputations and temporarily delayed sports careers.