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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Terrified of aging

55 replies

FreeNiki · 06/03/2017 16:17

Anyone else.

Im already terrified of being past my best and think I become more worthless the older I get.

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 06/03/2017 20:40

No

badabeedabom · 06/03/2017 20:41

Nope Smile

Had a small wobble when visible signs of, erm, maturity all hit at once. But I'm fine with it now. Like they say, it sure beats the alternative.

WorldWideWish · 06/03/2017 20:42

OP, would you say that your feelings of self worth and self esteem are based on your looks rather than your personality / intelligence / skills and achievements?

badabeedabom · 06/03/2017 20:42

By the way it's no accident that women are conditioned to think of themselves as increasingly worthless right around the time when they start to get sick of putting up with society's bullshit. Just saying.

KERALA1 · 06/03/2017 20:43

Better than the alternative!

chiquita1 · 06/03/2017 20:43

Me too.

FaFoutis · 06/03/2017 20:44

No.
It depends what you think 'your best' is.

KERALA1 · 06/03/2017 20:44

I like being more invisible. Used to be quite attractive and gots lots of hassle, letching and grim sexual comments etc. Now I don't - result!

QuentinSummers · 06/03/2017 20:45

Yes.
I've started to notice women in my age bracket (40s) getting sidelined at work too any the cynical feminist in me thinks it's because we are ageing out of being perceived as fuckable and therefore pointless.
It's so fucking depressing. I wish I could accept it more gracefully bit I can't.

FaFoutis · 06/03/2017 20:45

I like that too.

PlymouthMaid1 · 06/03/2017 20:46

Do t be daft... Embrace your inner crone. Seriously though, I do think really beautiful looking women possibly find aging harder than more ordinary looking ones. My Mum has !oathed getting older and her looks changing but I think it has blighted her life for several years now. I don't want to care that much and hope to find something good jn every stage.

Coverup890 · 06/03/2017 20:46

Nope but I have noticed people who are what society perceives as beautiful struggle more with ageing. I have never particularly fit the mould and seem to be getting happier in myself the older I get.

HecateAntaia · 06/03/2017 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chickennuggetfeeder · 06/03/2017 20:58

Having never been seen as fuckable I've been invisible my whole life anyway so quite like the fact I'm getting older.

This country is to obsessed with youth.

PencilsInSpace · 06/03/2017 21:02

How old are you? I'm nearing 50 and I'm not scared of the next couple of decades (health permitting). I've been 'past my best' according to societal standards for a while now and TBH it's a bit of a relief. I think I'm just approaching my personal best Grin

I'm terrified of being very old and needing personal care though.

Ledkr · 06/03/2017 21:06

I'm not thrilled at turning 50 but I do love the person I've become and my life.
I had aggressive breast cancer at 27 so I'm so lucky to be here.
I do like the fact that I eat well (ish) and exercise for health rather than vanity now.

Laska5772 · 06/03/2017 21:07

I will be 60 this yearShock!! HTFF did that happen?.. I admit i strugged a few years ago , but I have accepted myself ( pretty much now..) its actuall y quite liberating.. I am fortunate that the old geezer I am shackled to is also reasonably pragmatic about getting older..

We are doing it disgracefully.. Gin (and ooer missus !)
Its not all that bad, really and what is the alternative?

Thelilywhite · 06/03/2017 21:08

Felt a bit wobbly nearing 60 but not bothered about losing looks. What I hate is my body wont work properly anymore!

QuentinSummers · 06/03/2017 21:13

Flowers for you all. This is making me feel better Grin

MutePoint · 06/03/2017 21:18

I probably wouldn't fear aging so much if it wasn't for MN and the media.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 06/03/2017 23:18

I'm not going to embrace my inner crone as I don't have an inner crone. I'm 57. I don't think I'm past my best.

Career wise I'm doing better than I ever did and my profile is far higher than when I was 30.

Looks wise I wish I could lose some weight. I was beautiful when young. I don't think I have lost my looks- I'm just older.

would you say that your feelings of self worth and self esteem are based on your looks rather than your personality / intelligence / skills and achievements?

My sense of self worth was and is based on looks, intelligence and skills and achievement.

FreeNiki · 07/03/2017 02:06

Im 38.

OP, would you say that your feelings of self worth and self esteem are based on your looks rather than your personality / intelligence / skills and achievements?

No I dont look my age. But the thing is I am my age. I wouldn't be bothered but I'm single and no children. Who wants a woman my age now? I'll probably never have children and be alone forever. Never had a special long term relationship.

So I have maybe 40 more years of this shit. I wish I'd been more proactive in dating when I was late 20s.

OP posts:
RiverdaleJughead · 07/03/2017 02:16

I have a wrinkle and I despise it .. I'm not ready to go downhill when I have never achieved my ' best self' . Fucking wrinkle I am 22 and know women who're 45 who don't have wrinkles and I hate hate hate it. Right ... slight meltdown over.

FreeNiki · 07/03/2017 02:23

I dont have any fine lines, crows feet, grey hairs. I've been told i dont look my age.

But no one wanted me when i was younger and who will now.

Men dont get past it when 40. Or taken less seriously.

It makes me ill that my best days are over.

OP posts:
Bimbop5 · 07/03/2017 03:17

Yes and no. I am 42 this year and yep wrinkles are appearing but I like myself better at this age. Watching the media, youtube etc can get depressing. I feel like there are no role models for my age.