Please help me to not hate men

[LastGirlOnTheLeft]

I have a wonderful dad and husband. I have sons, and I love them all to pieces. But I do believe that I am starting to hate men. When I read about their abuse of women and children and animals as well, I really feel HATE!!

I don't want to hate them. I don't want to be anything like those god awful woman haters, those soulless losers who obsess over women and who are lost, probably forever. I am NOT like them, because I do feel love and like for the men in my life. Just no other man.

Any advice?

Oh aye, and it's not that when someone who agrees with you describes women with a dissenting view as 'completely off their rockers'? Lock us in the asylums and throw away the key while you're at it. It's almost like you talk a big load of hypocritical shite or something.

Sillage's comment at 21.12 yesterday is another example of double standards.

Here's the whole post:

"They stood up and started yelling about how terrible it was that I was detracting from the fact that male power was to blame."

British Crime Survey and police crime figures from 2009-10 show men were perpetrators in:

98% of sexual offences
99% of child rape

So the women who spoke up were correct.

It is very clear that sillage was saying the protesters were correct that male power is to blame for child abuse.
Not that she doesn't care about victims of child abuse.
Stop misrepresenting people.

Sillage was taking the piss 🤔 but it's telling you think 'double standards' is an applicable concept in gender politics.

If you are responding to me , I was referring to sillage's use of the phrase David Cameron was lambasted for using to put down a woman.

Oh aye, and it's not that when someone who agrees with you describes women with a dissenting view as 'completely off their rockers'?

The poster you accused of "squealing" (HackAttack) was not the poster who said that.

Sillage was taking the piss 🤔 but it's telling you think 'double standards' is an applicable concept in gender politics

Oh yes of course she was. I knew that would be the defence. It's terrible for a man to be patronising but when a feminist uses the same expression about another woman it's satire. Oh how funny and clever.

Sillage said it was right that they turned up that conference to do that. She said it was right that they 'spoke up' against the conference for 'detracting from the fact that male power was to blame'. In other words they were right to try and shout it down.

She did not say the view of those women that men are to blame for most sexual violence is right, she said that 'THOSE WOMEN were right to SPEAK UP' - at that conference.

I'm getting tired of this bigotry being defended in the name of feminism.

I've copied the whole post above and it clearly doesn't say 'THOSE WOMEN were right to SPEAK UP'. More misrepresentation.
The only person writing bigotry is you, pretending it's what other posters said. I'm getting tired of that.
I'm not responding to you anymore. I think I've made my point and it's very derailing. Not surprised OP hasn't been back.

I dont agree with sillage

I dont know what those women said or how they said it

But you went straight from "they were correct" without even asking her to explain herself to "You said there are ABUSED CHILDREN WHO DO NOT MATTER! You said that."

When she said no such thing.

Oh, I do apologise. It was 'THE women who spoke up were correct'. Semantically that makes all the difference doesn't it?

It's perfectly simple. Some people (women - and feminists incidentally) responded to what victims of female abusers were telling them by organising a conference to raise awareness of the issue. And you an Sillage are defending the bunch of utter cretins who turned up to shout those women down. It's disgusting and I don't want to hear it.

Yeah I know. I can read. But someone who agrees with your standpoint said it. I know which is more damaging.

I'm getting tired of this bigotry being defended in the name of feminism

I'm getting tired of the total absence of intelligent debate, the constant misrepresentations and the utterly tedious derails.

Rufus, I believe that was what Sillage was saying in so many words. If a man suggested victims of male abusers should not be spoken for then this is the interpretation that would be rightly applied to him.

ms

I understand thats what you believe

Looking into the causes of child abuse so it can be stopped is very important and you obviously (and rightly) feel very strongly about it

Yeah I know. I can read. But someone who agrees with your standpoint said it. I know which is more damaging

Oh my goodness. One poster made a remark you found offensive and that entitles you to weigh in against a completely different poster? HackAttack made a legitimate point about your use of the the term "squealing" and this is the best you can come up with? "She might not have said it but somebody else did"

As for double standards

Male politician makes patronising and condescending remark in an attempt to belittle a woman's argument- terrible.

Feminist repeats same patronising and condescending remark in an attempt to belittle another woman's argument and that's apparently acceptable.

You're wrong to say mothers "enforced" genital mutilation right after acknowledging how mothers are being forced by misogynistic men to carry out their demand.

Jesus christ. Now who's doing the infantilising. Funny that some of them seem to exercise the choice not to do it, and protest against it.

The image you paint of women as hapless victims, blameless agents being controlled and manipulated by men, is very damaging.

That and the argument that any one who does not hate all men is a "handmaiden" !?

I'm getting tired of the total absence of intelligent debate, the constant misrepresentations

Ok Charlie - go for it then, in order to clarify - answer the questions....

Do you hate men ?

Do you advocate the hating of all men as a reasonable position for a women in 2017 UK society to adopt?

As for the "mis representations" - the word OP clearly says "hate" not "be wary of". Being wary of something or someone is not the same thing as "hating" them. So lets just clear up that mis representation in order that we relieve your apparent exhaustion.

I'm in Scotland - the SNP advise that we should politically separate from the UK so that I get proper representation. English people are benefitting from this arrangement at my expense. They could do something about it but they don't. Should I hate all English people (supposing i believed that to be the case) ? It sounds like I should.

Calamity on this thread we have been treated to such gems as 'I actively hate the patriarchy, and by default I'm afraid that includes men'; told, as you pointed out, that women have no moral responsibility for mutilating a child's genitals; and inferred to that debates surrounding female paedophilia should be actively censored because they distract from male sexual violence.

This thread is exactly why I am reluctant to call myself a feminist these days.

Well don't then. More fool you.

I wouldn't be reluctant to call yourself a feminist on account of this crowd, that's not feminism. I hope no one reading is put off either.

Op, there are around 26 million males over the age of 18 in the UK.
The majority will be good ones, the same as your husband and sons.
It's natural to be wary, but if you're starting to feel hate against men as a race, that cannot be good for you!

I see, someone else's comment reveals my opinion that I apparently secretly hold (even though I stated I disagree with this) an misogynistic standpoint that rainbowrd actually expressed.

Rainbowrd as long as you use such language you are perpetuating patriarchy and are no better than those terrible, terrible men.

Exactly calamity, feminism as a means to a better world yes, used to fuel hate and actually abuse other women, no.

Abuse? You consider yourself to have been abused? Away you go.