Does having sex with a prostitute constitute rape?

[quencher]

A thread triggered this for me so I have decided to ask the question. If you consent to be paid for sex but don't feel like sleeping with the customer, are you being raped?

Why does a disabled man's need for sex trump a woman's need to not be treated as a sex commodity?

"It's a fucked up dynamic."

This just sums it up perfectly.

And anyone who buys the Belle de Jour schtick is deluded.

Why does a 40yr old desperate to lose his virginity trump the needs of women to not be viewed as a sex commodity?

"You might be a Virgin at 40 and desperate to lose your virginity, you might be severely disabled, you might not want the hassle of a relationship but want to have sex."

You can be all of those things and still a rapist.

Many women are forced into prostitution so in affect are raped. I suppose it's possible the client is not aware that the woman is being forced to have sex with him. The client might not intend to rape the woman as he is unaware the woman's consent has been forced by the pimp.

Prositutes are often victims of sexual crime. For example being forced to have anal sex or anything else she never agreed to.

Of course many prositutes are under sixteen and cannot consent to sex.

I bet these people in favour of prositution laws being relaxed would not want their daughter to be a sex worker.

' Maybe they can't be bothered with other ways to find sex ' laziness is quite possibly the WORST excuse for using a prostitute.

Regarding the info - the info is there if people choose to ignore or minimise the facts then I'd consider them to have a dubious attitude to consent in sex.

I did say I think a very small amount of prostitutes are not pimped/addicts etc but as the majority are then I believe I am allowed to consider anyone entertaining the idea of using a prostitute as not someone I would want anything to do with.

"I bet these people in favour of prositution laws being relaxed would not want their daughter to be a sex worker." Exactly!

A lot of thinking around this topic is predicated on the assumption that men have a right to sex, and that they need sex.

From the Guardian article, Almost half said they ­believed that most women in prostitution are victims of pimps ("the pimp does the ­psychological raping of the woman," explained one). But they still continued to visit them. So they know, they just don't care. I'm willing to call them rapists.

I have zero experience of the sex trade, like many people. I imagine that being a prositute is a wretched existence. I think that having sex with a load of strangers in one night would mess someone's head. Even if they have chosen to sell their body.

I would like the uk to follow the Scandinavian model and criminalise punters rather than the women. Or force the women to do things like drugs rehab rather than sending them to jail or fining them. The justice system needs to punish the johns. The women need help to get off drugs, maybe psychological help to improve self esteem and access to education and healthcare.

Assets seized from the punters could pay for projects to get prositutes out of sex work.

Bertrand - of course you can, you can be anything and be a rapist. What I'm dying is the motivation to have sex with a prostitute does not always come from something sinister and dark.

Regardless of whether it's lazy I'm not saying men have a right or need for sex. Their want for sex definitley doesn't trump a woman who doesn't want sex. But if a woman is happy to do it and a man is happy to pay. It's not rape. There are definitley some women who are happy with their chosen profession (just like there are lots who are unhappy)

What is "happy" though?

If it wouldn't be a chosen happy career path for 99% of the world, why convince yourself it's one for a small number of people, and would you really assume those people are happy deep down?

Assuming some people are filled with absolute soul-quenching joy at letting strangers use their body in any number of ways for hours on end, how would you identify them?

Clearly the punters don't care or have ways (or time) to check that out.

Given that I don't see how anyone could use a prostitute without knowing deep down that person was being damaged or not by it, I'm happy to lump them all under rapists or tacit approval of the rape system.

Man prositutes are trapped and desperate. The clients exploit their vulnerability. It's not a nice situation and there is nothing romantic. If the men were half decent human beings they would buy a plastic blow up sex doll instead.

I think there are different types of rape offences. For example a rape of a six month old baby is a more serious offence than two under age teens happily having sex. The fifteen year old teenage boy who has sex with his girlfriend who is two days older is technically committing rape even if the girl wanted sex.

Some of the responses on here I frankly find insulting.

Yes there are women who are coerced or forced in to it in one way or another. Yes that I would consider rape. But yes there are also women that have complete free will.

And for those confused, there's actually a difference between escorting and prostitution. Prostitution is usually sex only, and commonly with multiple people, or one time only bookings. Escorting is usually going on dates, dinners, drinks plus sex, but you are paid for all of it and it is usually an ongoing agreement.

I escort, and I am in no way forced into it. I'm not hard up financially, don't have kids, don't do drugs, don't have a pimp, no background of sexual assault. Please do not make assumptions on all of us. I know plenty of people in the same position as me. I am also not naive and know not everyone is as lucky as me.

You can't put a blanket yes/no on the entire population of people who pay for sex.

Prostitutes can be raped by clients and forced into doing sex acts they didn't want to but not all sex with a prostitute is rape. If they have given and maintain consent throughout the act it's not rape even if they didn't particularly enjoy it.

"There are definitley some women who are happy with their chosen profession"

Even if this is true, and I suspect that very few would, for example, want their daughters to follow them into the "profession", how is a punter to tell?

The fact that they are prepared to take the chance means that their motives may not be sinister and dark, but their decision making processes certainly are.

What people don't think about is that yes, I'm sure there are loads of women out there who think yes yes this is my own choice bla bla

But the fact remains that if the patriarchy as it is did not exist, this "choice" would not exist.

Your choice such as it is exists in the context of a society which has an extreme and deeply ingrained hatred of women.

"Your choice such as it is exists in the context of a society which has an extreme and deeply ingrained hatred of women."

And perpetuates that society.

yy Bertrand

depends on why the prostitute is doing it. If, like a dominatrix friend of mine, she actually enjoyed it and thought it was easy money, then no, I wouldnt call that rape at all, but if youve got a situation like my dp found himself in when on a business trip to asia, and they had supplied him/presented him with a woman, who was absolutely terrified when my dp didnt want to have sex with her, because of what trouble she would have been in - if he had had sex with her I would have considered him a rapist, and his business partners at the time were rapists because they knew and didnt care that these women had no choice in the matter.

is it always consensual

many many women some very young are forced into prostitution

so having sex with a women that has been forced into prostitution you are complicit with her being in that situation

so no op you do not need to get a grip you are asking a question that should be discussed

Agree bert

I beleive what drives the sex trade is not only that its ok for men to exchange money to use a womans body but also this belief that men have to have sex

this is support by religion and societies attitudes

until we have more open discussions about sex, that both sexes are sexual beings that have feelings and desires equally (but its also individual), that sex is not a right or need but a desire for men and women things will not change

i am astonished how many people feel that men absolutely have to have sex and its understandable that they use prostitutes

I agree that prositution is not ok. However it's a matter of having laws that protect the women rather than criminalise the women. I feel that punishing the clients is the best way of stamping out prositution.

ReallyTired

We don't have statutory rape laws in the UK. A sixteen year old having consensual sex with a fifteen year old is not committing rape.