Pub dinner turned sour!

[honkawonka]

Just at a pub having some dinner with my boyfriend (child free eating time = bliss!) and the couple (50's) opposite us have just ordered a bottle of wine(or more specifically the woman has). The waiter brings over the bottle and pours a tasting glass for the man, asking him if it's ok to pour out and then pours his first then his wife's ! This smacks of blatant sexism to me that the man is the one who must make decisions etc.
On another note , finding the waiter is directing all decisions over menu etc to my bf too probably bu but never mind , HANGRY!

Actually was just posting because my boyfriend had gone out to move my car to a different location to prevent us being locked into a car park - he agrees with me that it's bad practice to only offer the male the bill/wine/etc , everyone is entitled to their own opinion anyway of course

NavyandWhite I'm disagreeing that there being "more important things" means you shouldn't challenge things deemed not as important, hardly the same as "putting women down". What level of importance is sexism acceptable to challenge at?

The 50's comment may have been misjudged but was more trying to get at the point that they weren't of the age where it is very much the done thing( as in my partners parents ages where this would be the total norm). Maybe they are regulars and are happy with this service , I was merely a bystander.

I'm another one who usually finds that the bill is given to OH, even when I asked for it. I can be holding the card in my hand and they still pass the card reader to OH.

i think unless you are paying a VAST amount of money for wine it's totally pretentious to "taste" it.

obviously bad wine will be exchanged once it is discovered, they aren't going to point at you and say "oooh toughtitties, you missed your chance"

I think it is hugely amusing when people have a bottle of house wine and go through the tasting it, like they are some sort of wine expert. Saw a couple do this with a bottle of frascati once. pricks I caught the waiter's eye and we smirked.

Your feminist credentials might be impeccable but I suggest you need some work on your ageism.

I'm 57 and my husband is 63 and your last comment is complete bollocks

."weren't of the age where it was the done thing" fgs.

"Jen

It's not about what the OP "wants to hear" - presumably, she is looking for agreement that it's sexist, some people think it is and some think it isn't. That's fine.

This is just getting at her personally, though:

"Wow! Must be some date If you're watching what happens at other tables and posting on MN about it. Your lucky BF"

" It's rude as fuck."

I normally enjoy your posts. On this thread, they seem very unkind."

On threads across the board you will find comments about things that aren't what the OP was discussing, some of them will point out a behaviour of the OP themselves that the poster commenting objects to. It's personal in that it is about that OP's behaviour but not personal in that the commenter has no personal issue with the OP. I have nothing personal against the OP, I have no idea who they are. Their behaviour seems rude to me. Of course I could be misunderstanding the situation. Glad you enjoy my posts, however, I don't post for anyone else's entertainment and am not obliged to conform to anyone else's personal taste when posting.

Lass, I was saying that they were young and forward thinking! Unlike my partners parents who are by their own admission stuck in the past!

But why oh why do they ask you to taste when it's a screw top? Can screw top wine be corked?

Although at both my favourite Indian and Chinese, they always fill my glass first. I thought ladies first was more traditional?

NavyandWhite I think any challenge to sexism is worthy because it's all discrimination. That's not to say I think all women should be bothered by all sexism but also I don't see why other women should be attacked for challenging it just because it doesn't bother another woman. Some women were perfectly happy not to have the right to vote, and protested against women being given the vote.

I've noticed in the last 10 years or so that increasingly the bill is put somewhere in the middle or wherever there's a space. Sometimes, if the table is full, then the waiter will often ask who wants the bill.

Yeah he did fill her glass first after the "tasting" had commenced so top marks there. Unfortunately forgot the steak knife for my partner , which resulted in his manager shouting across the room "if you forget a steak knife once more ,I'll have you fired "

For the record, I have my phone on the table when I'm eating now in case I am needed suddenly ( child not with me and mum seriously ill). Not for social dischord.

Lass, I was saying that they were young and forward thinking! Unlike my partners parents who are by their own admission stuck in the past!

You know the advice about what to do when you are in a hole? Stop digging.

Actually - if someone really wanted to serve wine the sexist way, they would pour a small amount for the most senior gentleman. Then, when he agreed to it, they would serve from the most senior lady to the least, followed by the second most senior gentleman to the least. Finally, the 'host' would be served the last portion.

Status is also about wealth, host/guest status and sex. There are many ways to show hierarchy, not just sexism. As several of us have noticed, things like formal etiquette around food is like a microcosm of the power structures in life.

"Glad you enjoy my posts, however, I don't post for anyone else's entertainment and am not obliged to conform to anyone else's personal taste when posting."

Sure. And I'm not obliged to keep schtum if I see posts that I think are unkind.

I've no interest in falling out with you Jen, and I've made my point, so I'll leave it there.

I just wish when I was out for a meal I'd be given the wine to taste

And having seen the OP's update then I agree she wasn't being rude.

Picking at the OP for these things is just needlessly attacking her presumably because those doing it don't like it when sexism is pointed out.

Yes, of course that's why

It's legal to have a glass with a meal at 16 with adults present (this is an important issue)