Pub dinner turned sour!

[honkawonka]

Just at a pub having some dinner with my boyfriend (child free eating time = bliss!) and the couple (50's) opposite us have just ordered a bottle of wine(or more specifically the woman has). The waiter brings over the bottle and pours a tasting glass for the man, asking him if it's ok to pour out and then pours his first then his wife's ! This smacks of blatant sexism to me that the man is the one who must make decisions etc.
On another note , finding the waiter is directing all decisions over menu etc to my bf too probably bu but never mind , HANGRY!

Erm, can we lay off calling the OP rude for things that are nothing to do with her post or with feminism?

If her partner has a problem with her phone use (and he might well be doing it too), up to him to say, not MN.

Yeah, it's only a little thing, but it's still there. The etiquette around food is a real sign of people's opinions about the pecking order in a group.

there are still restaurants where women get a menu without the prices, and men get them with the price - because women shouldn't worry their sill little heads about money.

Can't believe the op is out for a meal with her partner and is watching other people. Get on and have your meal op stop staring at others it's rude. Who cares who the wine was offered to. Whoever he offered it to first would be wrong in someone's eyes.

Must be a new MN rule that posters must restrict responses to what the OP wants to hear. Was there an email?

Yeah, Navy, whenever I see racism, sexism or any other kind of bigotry I just shrug and carry on if it didn't happen to me.

Maybe OP wants to live in a world where everyone is treated with equal respect?

Well I'm firmly of the opinion a good starting point for respect might be paying more attention to the person you are having lunch with than a couple at another table or your phone.

Oh and what relevance did the fact the other couple were in their 50s have? Was that supposed to signify they were so old- fashioned they might think there was nothing wrong with what the waiter did ?

As for menus without prices - where does this happen? Never seen this from Michelin restaurants to my local takeaway.

Jen

It's not about what the OP "wants to hear" - presumably, she is looking for agreement that it's sexist, some people think it is and some think it isn't. That's fine.

This is just getting at her personally, though:

"Wow! Must be some date If you're watching what happens at other tables and posting on MN about it. Your lucky BF"

" It's rude as fuck."

I normally enjoy your posts. On this thread, they seem very unkind.

It may be outdated, but it wouldn't bother me at all, personally. I can't imagine myself even paying it that much attention.

I can think of more worthy things to get my knickers in a twist over.

Did he order the wine? if he did order it that seems absolutely normal to me.

But the cold drink in a hot glass is rather terrible. Maybe he's simply a shitty waiter?

If the woman has ordered the wine, then the woman should be offered to taste it first.

Had I ordered the wine and they offered DH the taste, then he would generally indicate discretely to the person that it was me to taste.

However, some places/people are still a little stuck in the past. Depends on how much you like the place as to whether it would make you not want to return I guess.

"Unless you're going to pull the waiter up"

Wasn't on her table, Navy!

Whenever I'm out with DP or DF, the card machine is always given to them even though it blatantly says my name on the card- grrr...

Can't believe the op is out for a meal with her partner and is watching other people.

I thought a bit of people watching was often the norm, even if out with others. Dh and I have sometimes indulged in a bit of people watching - quite like it esp on a warm summer evening, sat outside, by the sea and watching the world go by.

If I'm out for dinner with DH and he's getting all the attention/bills etc. one of us is likely to actually say/do something. e.g. if the bill is given to him, he'll hand it to me and say 'there you go' etc.

When we were last buying a car (for me) and he got more attention from the sales person he just stepped back and deferred to me as it would be mainly me driving it.

If it were someone else when we're out for lunch, and one of us noticed, me might roll our eyes or tut. Not the most effective form of civil protest, but prob proportionate in relation to the event.

Whether it's rude to use phones while chatting over lunch is prob. up to OP and her OH to decide. Some do, some don't. I would if just having lunch with DH, and we're likely to chat about whatever we're reading. I most certainly will not at my aunt's funeral next week. Go me, able to be flexible about social rules & context & stuff.

I like to watch 'The worm that turned' before i go out to any Bernie Inn

I work front of house and always offer the taste to whoever ordered.

that's actually pretty basic.

how people behave around food and drink says something very profound about society.

Maybe the waiter is asking your boyfriend as you're busy on your phone?

Also maybe the couple are regulars and the waiter knows the guy prefers to taste.

It's perfectly easy to be out, notice what happens on occasion at nearby tables and post something quickly on your phone every now and again. Picking at the OP for these things is just needlessly attacking her presumably because those doing it don't like it when sexism is pointed out. "There are more important things" is also the usual line of attack when pointing out sexism, so often you see "typical feminists, try living in Saudi Arabia then see what you have to complain about", same ridiculous argument.

I'll admit the (irrelevant) scene setting comment couple (50's) did not make me sympathetic to the OP.