I (and did) chose a really nice dress I liked and suited me, and that I would (and have done) wear again and again. No need for anything remotely like a 'wedding dress' if you don't want to. But if you want a more formal one, go ahead and wear what you want.
No need to be given away by a man/father or to change your name.
I agree. I did not wear a wedding dress. I love the dress that I did wear, and have worn it again since. It was expensive for a dress, but not for a wedding dress. The look I went for, was "going to the BAFTAs". I do not think that I was too far off the mark.
I did not change my name. I was not given away by anyone. My sister walked down the aisle next to me, and my immediate family followed, with my parents bringing up the rear. I did not have any bridesmaids. I did not feel as if I needed any. I used to say to people, I do not need to have bridesmaids. I have sisters. I also have a lot of friends, who did one or two things for me, mostly orgainsational. I asked them specially and they were very kind to help me because they did not get the pseudo-honour of being bridesmaids. I love them for it. I feel so, so lucky to have so many people around me.
In case it helps you, we had only two children who came to our party, and they were entertained by the woodwind trio, who were playing whilst the guests were having drinks and nibbles. I am not sure that this would work so well once the number of children hit critical mass, or if the some of the children have special needs. One of our guests who is an adult is somewhat disabled and needed to leave at one point because of all the noise and the waiting around and so on. He left for a quiet pub round he corner, and came back later. Luckily he was with someone who was able to take care of him. I suppose I am trying to say, if someone feels overwhelmed easily by noise and so on, it doesn't matter what age they are, it could be nice to have a chill out space somehow. We did not have such a space at our party, but if I was to do it again (heaven forbid!) I might try to make a mixture of spaces, some quieter and some more lively. If you are outside, then something like some rugs laid out, and some craft materials, and maybe a teenager on standby who can keep an eye on felt-tip-pen lids that might be at risk of being choked on. We only had lively spaces at our wedding, and it was really quite noisy, and this is not pleasant for everyone.
We did not have any dancing, because DH doesn't like it. I would have loved a ceiligh, but in the end you can't have everything, and I do have a lovely husband. Would still have loved a ceiligh though.