Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

I'm fed up with being told hairy is bad.

93 replies

VilootShesCute · 27/08/2016 17:07

So after another day of heat where I can't wear shorts because of my leg hair I just wanted to see if anyone else was either fed up with being told that "no hair is beautiful" or ashamed to go out with hairy legs because they feel it's disgusting? I'm so effing hot I just want to be able to be hairy and not be judged!!!!! I can't shave because it brings me out in a bloody rash instantly and only lasts a day, so I wax. That lasts a week max. I wish I could just be a hairy lady and not care but I do care. Didn't know where to post so sorry if this is wrong for feminist chat.

OP posts:
sentia · 27/08/2016 20:27

Thank you for the tumblr link. I very rarely shave or wax, because I get terrible ingrown hairs, but I NEVER go out with hairy legs on show. I know I shouldn't care and I don't know why I do care. I definitely need to think about this more because objectively it's just hair, and I don't even notice if there is hair on someone else's legs. And it's definitely just my issue, DH couldn't care less.

JigglypuffsCaptor · 27/08/2016 21:12

I'm 26 and don't give a shit Grin

Also DP prefers pubic hair on a woman, which is refreshing.

VestalVirgin · 27/08/2016 21:20

So your husband shaves his legs, does he? He must, because otherwise he's a total hypocrite who should be ashamed of himself. And his disgusting hairy legs.

My legs are hairier than some men's, and my only regret is that I don't own enough shorts to show them off.
I tend to want to cover most of my skin to spite patriarchy, but then, hairy legs don't spite just Western patriarchy, they also annoy Islamists. Two birds with one stone, so to speak.
(I know merely annoying sexist men doesn't actually achieve much, but it is easier to do than, I don't know, blowing up post boxes or whatever the suffragists did back then.)

Original poster
VilootShesCute · 27/08/2016 21:39

I want a hair loving husband Sad

OP posts:
JigglypuffsCaptor · 27/08/2016 21:59

Viloot I would say dp is hair loving as such, he just respects my choice that it's my body so my choice, I also don't dictate to him about his pubic hair. He's in the forces and they shower in groups and actually other men say to him "gosh didn't your Mrs mind you not grooming your pubic hair" its never said exactly like that, as you can imagine and he just replies no why would she?

We just have a relationship where your pubes are your own and it's up to you, it's such an intimate and sensitive area, I'd rather be comfortable as does he.

He also only ever says anything about my leg hair when it's at that prickly growing back stage, he says it hurts him Blush

digestivemuncher · 27/08/2016 22:21

Does anyone else get razor bumps??
Horrible minging itchy spots constantly err feel so self conscious me that's why I hate shaving

FreshwaterSelkie · 28/08/2016 07:22

I'm in awe of the hairy club site that was posted! I feel quite inadequate now, I don't have the genes to grow that amount of leg hair Grin

I generally wax my legs, but my beautician was away recently and I went 8 weeks with gradually more and more hairy legs, but it's so hot here I just flopped about in shorts anyway. No one died. My husband has never noticed the presence or absence of hair, he doesn't give a bollocks.

Your husband is very mean to say you're disgusting.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 28/08/2016 07:34

I go out without shaving loads, underarm, legs I don't give a shiny shit. I'm in London too! Grin

Eolian · 28/08/2016 07:53

It's ridiculous that we feel we have to shave our legs really. I used to defend it to myself by saying it was my choice and that I shaved because I prefer the look of my legs without hair. But that's nonsense really. We only prefer it because we've been brought up thinking that leg hair looks wrong on women. If it were the norm for women to have hairy legs, and it was considered weird to shave off your hair, we'd all be hairy. Maybe there should be an MN hairy leg club!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/08/2016 09:45

I can't say I have ever really noticed how hairy a another woman's legs are and even if I did notice I certainly wouldn't think anything

I always wear dresses. I shave my legs once a week if I will be bare legged or wearing sheer tights ; much less frequently if it is opaque tights weather. I'm presumably a brain washed idiot for doing so, if I am, I don't care. I would however not notice if someone else had shaved or not.

Actually that's not strictly true - it would depend on the rest of the outfit. If the woman was very glammed up at a wedding or black tie event and it was obvious I probably would notice but wouldn't spend time pondering on it or why. If it's just casually out and about in shorts or on a beach it would not register.

Felascloak · 28/08/2016 10:24

Has anyone else watched naked attraction? I was very surprised how much pubic topiary the men were doing. So much so that In the episode I watched they commented that one man had a full bush. I hoped there'd be less pressure for women to shave, not more pressure for both to be less hairy!

Swign · 28/08/2016 10:29

I am a male. I shave it all off because its comfortable. I guess it depends what lifestyle you like. If some dont like it then thats their thing, i wouldnt really overthink this stuff on what other thinks. People think this and that but that doesnt mean you have to agree with everything other says.

FurryDogMother · 28/08/2016 10:35

I shaved my legs once, 40 years ago, and managed to cut my shin. 'Fuck this for a game of soldiers' I thought, and have never shaved anything since. No one has ever mentioned my general hairiness, not once. Shave, or don't shave, your choice, no one but you will really be bothered (and perhaps certain DHs - in this case, DH doesn't stand for 'dear husband').

Swign · 28/08/2016 10:41

@FurryDogMother

Isnt there an electrical shaver to help with it? Its reason why i tend to dislike manual shaving blades. But nothing wrong if one likes to live like that. I dont think too much about it :D

Middleoftheroad · 28/08/2016 10:57

Normally shave my legs, but was in rush Fri and went out with pale, hairy legs. Nobody noticed and I forgot about it while out.

I'll do some general.maintenance, but I'm just too old/don't get purposely bald fanjos....Confused

Sadik · 28/08/2016 23:42

I shaved under my arms briefly in my mid teens, but haven't owned a razor or shaved anything in the last 30 yrs or so, though do a little trimming of pubic hair on occasion with nail scissors. I can honestly say that no-one has ever commented on it.

Sadik · 28/08/2016 23:44

I think it's an age thing - it definitely didn't seem like a big deal not to shave when I was in my 20s, so maybe I'm just stuck there. I'm always Shock at the idea of men shaving their bits, surely a bit of furriness is part of the experience?

2kids2dogsnosense · 28/08/2016 23:54

What pees me off (as well as hairy fannies apparently being unacceptable these days) is that girls (and boys) now think that body hair on a female is unnatural!

IT ISN'T! Body hair (often a lot more than you might think) is present on all of us. I have it on my legs and up my tummy as well as the Usual Places. And there it stays.

I clear my inner thighs if I'm going to be wearing a bathing costume, just because I don't want people to think I have a wolverine tuned into my knickers, but other than that (and I admit to waxing my moustache when I start to look like Stalin) I leave it. I was a lot more self-conscious about it when I had less (i.e. when my lady hormones were still in action and fighting valiantly against the sea of fur creeping all over my body). I am, and always have been a hairy lady, so, alas, is my daughter. So was my grannie - my mam and my sisters missed out on the gorilla gene somehow.

In many cultures it is still considered sexy. Apparently.

2kids2dogsnosense · 28/08/2016 23:55

"tucked", not "tuned"

Kallyno · 30/08/2016 05:38

I don't shave my legs or underarms ever. I swim several times a week and wear shorts. I live in Australia so that's a lot of short wearing and beach going in a pretty misogynist society. For the record, it's not because I can't be arsed. I exfoliate and use moisturiser on my legs and arms and I do trim my pubes so they don't annoy me but I just do not get removing body hair for the smooth prepubescent look. I am about 40 and have felt this way since late teens. More recently I find myself a bit appalled at the normalisation of complete muff removal and feel frustrated with the nonsense reasons people give such as "it's more hygienic". There is nothing unhygienic about my muff! I tidy my eyebrows and fret about upper lip and chin hair and in recent years have started plucking the odd toe hair so it's not as if I am extraordinarily immune. I just think it's a mindset and once you break it and stop shaving for good you get to just get on with life happily. Occasionally I have moments of self conscious doubt but I just tough it out and it passes.
Every couple of years I seem to get curious and shave my underarms, only to regret it bitterly as it is uncomfortable and looks odd. Plus, by the next day everything is bristly. Yuck.

If my partner said he felt disgusted by my leg hair I would honestly LTB but that is because I am getting old and intolerant; in my 20s and early 30s I would have set about reeducating him/ her.

Just give it up. Bras are wonderful, imo, but l think losing the razors is liberation indeed.

Miffer · 30/08/2016 07:38

The tendency of younger women to shave their v-jayjays is horrifying. A straw poll in my work found that all three of our under 30s did this. More over they were all surprised us 'older' (I'm 34) ladies didn't. At least it seems to be a bit more equal, 2 of them told us their male partners also shave their bits although not down to the skin.

digestivemuncher · 30/08/2016 11:02

Hasn't it been proven that ladies keeping pubic hair is more hygienic then not keeping it. The pubic hair is there to stop nasty germs and other stuff from getting inside our lady gardens and taking over. I mean it's said that a woman doesn't have to even wash their lady gardens as they self clean (this I could never follow and would never want to follow) but to me the thought of not washing your bits downstairs makes me cringe!!

SoHairy · 30/08/2016 11:38

Haven't read the thread yet (I will!) but THANK YOU OP for starting this. I actually name-changed with the intention of starting a thread discussing exactly this, but got a bit side-tracked and then saw this today.

Back once I've caught up with the thread!

AmberGreyson · 30/08/2016 13:28

i shaved my legs only on the half 'cause i don't care

CancellyMcChequeface · 30/08/2016 14:38

I started shaving my legs when I was 12. Stopped when I was 17 and discovered radical feminism, and have been hairy ever since. Grin Anyone who finds my hair disgusting isn't someone I want to be around.

I understand the pressure, though. I stay fairly covered up for other reasons when I go out, but if that wasn't the case I doubt I'd be confident enough to walk around London in a sleeveless top because of the reaction my armpits might get.