Running while female

[MooPointCowsOpinion]

I've taken up running and it's only been a week, 3 runs, and I've already had a very creepy encounter. I chose a very secluded run through a wooded area, just a few cyclists and dog walkers but a good path, and not near a road or a town. Felt perfect, as I'm out of shape and wanted to just focus on running and not think about bumping into people I know.

After the creepy encounter, I don't want to run there anymore. And I'm angry, so so angry. I should be able to run anywhere without fear. my biggest worry was if I would complete the run, or needed a wee half way round. Is this just how running is, unless you go through a built up area?

I am ready to die and tear someone else's throat out doing so I know that feeling you are talking about Uncontrolled

DH and I both run quite a lot. I'm quite fortunate that I can run in the day - somewhere like Battersea Park or Hyde Park are fine, although I nearly always get some car / van honking or some kind of comment going to or from the park. I find wearing headphones helps because then you look as if you can't hear them. And not wearing crop tops, very short running shorts obviously.

DH runs either very early mornings or evenings during the week. He's over 6ft and a strong build. He's become very aware that if he's running down an otherwise empty residential street or down the Thames, etc and he is running behind or towards a woman, that she will often cross the road or run in the middle of the road where she's more visible due to the street lamps. Some months ago, he was running behind a woman who then ran out between two parked cars and had a collision with a cyclist (luckily nobody was injured, but both were shaken up obviously). So now DH tends to cross the road if he's behind women in secluded streets. Or he takes me out with him.

I had an interesting experience when out running about a month ago that I still haven't been able to put out of my mind. I go running on my own 3 times a week and have been doing so since about March. I normally wear 3 quarter leggings and a baggy tshirt and I sweat like mad but one evening I went out with my friend who's much thinner than me and she had a full face of make up and shorts on. We got honked at by a car full of men who shouted out of the window to us, then another men shouted something a bit later on and later on a man got up from his table outside the pub and actually ran alongside us talking to us! It was horrible, I've never felt like that when I've been on my own and I felt so uneasy. I actually told her that I'd rather go on my own unless one of our husbands comes with us because it wasn't a nice feeling at all.

I hate that women get blamed for mens shitty behaviour based on whatever she's wearing. She was asking for it because she was wearing makeup? Absolutely ridiculous.

I don't wear makeup or shorts when I run BTW but if I did want to wear shorts it shouldn't be any different then a man wearing shorts. Men wear shorts running all the time, that doesn't mean they're asking for it so why would you assume a Woman is wearing shorts for attention.

Totally agree Joker, so depressing. It amazes me how many people think that women are responsible for men's behaviour, as well as their own.

I've started running again recently and have been fortunate so far, I think - no hassle. However I used to live in the Emirates and avoided walking to the local shop because men would follow me. I once borrowed a neighbour's huge dog and walked there, reasoning that the dog would put them off; no fewer than 3 men pulled up trying to persuade me to get in their car. "I have a DOG." "No problem!"

Sad to hear that the problem also exists here, and to such an extent

I'm always shocked and sad when I read posts like yours OP. I always say that we'll have true equality when women can go for runs in lonely places without fear - in the same way that men can.

I've been running for about 6 years and I've never had a really bad experience - a couple of cat calls from white van man but nothing else. The worst experience was when I wasn't actually running but coaching with my club and a couple of young lads made lewd remarks. I don't know why they think it's big or clever.

The best thing to do is join a club if you can, I joined a club so that I had company to run with in the dark in the winter - and parkrun on a Saturday also provides a safe space to run whatever your speed and sex.

JokersSmile I think you've misinterpreted what I said. I wasn't saying in any way that my friend deserved the actions towards her, I was struck by the stark contrast between the fact that I had never experienced anything like that on my own when I was "scruffy" but it was almost like some of the men saw us as fair game because she was wearing shorts and make up! I thought it was disgusting behaviour!

On the flip side, one of the best things that ever happened to me while I was running was in Victoria Park in east London.

I passed a woman in a hijab and gown walking with a man, and as I ran past, she just picked up, thrust her handbag at the guy to hold and started running next to me. I said hello and she started asking me about how she could start running as she often saw people running in the park but was afraid she'd be no good. She was really sweet and her bloke was panting along a few yards behind trying to keep up while lugging her handbag. It was brilliant and a nice change from random men shouting 'oy oy' at me.

I only feel safe if I run with my big dog. I have had a couple of encounters over the years and my dogs have always scared them! I really wouldn't run in a secluded area without them on my own.

That was a nice thing to happen Vvlgari.

Your big dog must make you feel protected Scuttle. What breed is it I wonder?

Well I have had a Boxer a GSD and Bernese Mountain dog.

Don't let it put you off. I've been running for 18 months - in London - and have never (yet) had any bad experiences. I run in the winter in the dark before work (sticking to very busy roads). I dont go in the woods and trails near us (Finsbury Park/Crouch End/Highgate) in the dark - but in summer I do very early. As PP have said - I have headphones (Women's Hour!) so maybe I haven't noticed it, but I've always read these threads and am very sad for women who do get cat called. Running has changed my life - don't let a few twats put you off.

Yep. Although I run a mixture of trails and roads. I've never had any problems (apart from stupidly coming up on a dog without making noise and it went for me, I leapt onto the owner!) on the secluded trails.

On the road and more popular cycle routes I have a few issues with people shouting at me (I've had women shout as well as men, although they tend to be piss taking rather than leery)

I've not found anything, I've just had to ignore it. I'm lucky enough that I've never felt unsafe though

I have just started a running plan, literally started this morning. I left the house at just gone 6.00 am so it was pretty quiet on the roads. I got shouted at twice by passing vans. Once calling me a fat cunt, I am fat so hey ho, and the second time the van slowed right down and the man leaned out of the window to shout nice tits. So it was a shit first experience. Plus I'm knackered 😁

That's shit Thyme.

What idiots. Good on you for getting out there, don't let them put you off.

They're arseholes, thyme.

(I can relate to the feeling knackered thing - my first run when I started after a long lay off, I could barely walk for the next three days!)

So I have no experience of these incidents but know my sister and friend do. I had an idea for an app as I know a lot ofrunners have their phones on them whether it be for stats collection or music. Unfortunately I don't know how to write phone apps but if someone here has the skill, here is the idea.

Basically the app has gps enables and ooks into a database. The app will also plug into google maps toallow you to plan runs etc. Any sort of unwanted comment or anything can be quickly tagged by either button or speach. This would then highlight areas where other people have had bad experiences and allow you to plan accordingly. Ideally the info would be shared with the police so they could set up stings. Perhaps evena direct call could be made for serious incidents if it was plugged into the police by use of a safe word. Such calls would be linked to your phone so malicious calls by men attempting to derail.the system could be tracked. This would also give visibility to how many incidents are reported which would hopefully put pressure on the government and policeto do something about. I'm sure there are downsides but hopefully someone who is a bit more savvy with ringing these things through to market could use the idea.

Just to say, I realise.this shouldn't be needed and i'd like to think the app could be more than just a safety alert which shouldn't be necessary for a woman to do something as basic as have a run but it's an idea i had - feel free to rip apart!

I run in the dark in winter. Early. Like 5.30am. I never wear headphones, I stick to lit roads and it feels ok because it appears there is nobody awake but me.

In the summer you feel more visible. I've been roared at from van windows which makes you jump. Also had a few comments but nothing scary. In the summer I see more people around which gives you more confidence to go off road it I feel safer if I can see a few dog walkers around.

The one time I did get major hassle was the one and only time I went out running in the evening. People outside pubs bellowing etc. groups of teens commenting.

It's shit but you just have to keep running. They're not going to be arsed to chase you. So be strong and free. Fuck them.

I'd personally be very uncomfortable with the kind of app that you're suggesting as it would essentially allow the police to monitor you, at the same time as not doing anything to prevent crime against you.

Do you think that someone at some police HQ (because all the local stations have been closed) would sit there monitoring all of the women out running in a 50-100 mile radius? Of course they wouldn't.

I'm sorry, but if we want to run outside, at night or otherwise, we have to keep our wits about us, ignore the random shouty wankers and try not to be afraid. Yes, it's shit, but it's either that, get fat in front of the TV or spend your life telling everyone you can't exercise because the police won't keep you safe.

Argy, you might want to have another look at your post, because you have contradicted yourself. Or you might be suggesting that you're one of the people who's scared of their own shadow, given that running in the dark is "dumb"

So you could obviously limit the app in terms of personal information if need be.

I wouldn't expect a real time commentary on where all people are running at any one point in time. More like it can alert a database for a minor comment to flag areas (such as parks or whatnot) where regular offences may occur so the police can send a couple of undercover officers on a run and grab people doing that sort of thing and punish them accordingly. In addition if a serious assault was occuring a distress call could be made instantly to the 999 database which would tage to the phone owners id (should they wish to register) and their current location. The idea was as well that with so many recorded incidents (as I believe it is bigger than a few anecdotes on mumsnet and may encourage women just to report it if it's an easy tap on the phone) it may get more traction in terms of sorting the issue out. I never really considered the privacy issue properly but you're right tbat needs to be addressed and some sort of balance would need to be achieved.

I haven't been back out since it happened. I'm really hoping tomorrow is the day, if I go out early, and stay near my town outskirts.

Go out tomorrow. Keep running. Go where you feel comfortable, use your gut instincts. Let us know how you get on.