Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Running while female

105 replies

MooPointCowsOpinion · 15/08/2016 20:12

I've taken up running and it's only been a week, 3 runs, and I've already had a very creepy encounter. I chose a very secluded run through a wooded area, just a few cyclists and dog walkers but a good path, and not near a road or a town. Felt perfect, as I'm out of shape and wanted to just focus on running and not think about bumping into people I know.

After the creepy encounter, I don't want to run there anymore. And I'm angry, so so angry. I should be able to run anywhere without fear. my biggest worry was if I would complete the run, or needed a wee half way round. Is this just how running is, unless you go through a built up area?

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 16/08/2016 11:39

If you get the paid version of the Map My Run app, it will track your progress in real time and your friends on there can see where you are.

I would be worried that a) it can be hacked, thus enabling a rapist to track you, and b) perhaps some of your male friends are not as trustworthy as you would like them to be.

Granted, I am perhaps a bit overdoing it with the safety. But I would use this only with female friends, if at all. Statistics being what they are ... how many of the women who were raped or killed by a man they thought was their friend saw it coming?

Felascloak · 16/08/2016 11:47

vestal I meant decent men not trombones. I think as most men get no hassle when running they probably don't realise how much it happens, even to women running in busy areas in full daylight.
What happened to me is I stopped in a public toilet next to an access road in a park just as a car turned in. It was about 8pm so the park was not busy and there was no one in the loo. I just went in to splash my hot face with water so was back out in 15 secs, to see a man getting out of the car outside the toilet. When I continued my run he got back in the car and drove on down the access road.
Now maybe I am paranoid but I think he was going to follow me in the toilet and expected me to be in there longer. Scarily opportunistic if that was the case and has definitely made me think twice about where I run.

Original poster
MooPointCowsOpinion · 16/08/2016 11:51

Scarily opportunistic if that was the case I agree, and I wonder how many men are opportunistic in such circumstances.

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 16/08/2016 12:23

Being shouted at while running has happened to my dh only once in twenty years of regular running and he was surprised to hear I had had it a few times in my first couple of weeks.
His experience involved some posh boys shouting at him from a car in Cambridge, which I think supports the theory that it is about privilege and power, reminding you of your place lower than them in the hierarchy.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 16/08/2016 12:25

Vestal, yes I take your point re friends on the app. I should have said what I really meant which was so dh could track where I was - I don't actually have any friends on there and I would have made him an account specially.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 16/08/2016 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 16/08/2016 13:45

If you get the paid version of the Map My Run app, it will track your progress in real time and your friends on there can see where you are.

I'm always torn on this - it seems sensible, on one hand, but then Strava - which is pretty mainstream and respected - goes quite far in the opposite direction, recommending female runners set up a "privacy zone" so people can't try and work out where you live/work/frequent based on your running data.

I'd love a dog to run with.

UncontrolledImmigrant · 16/08/2016 13:56

I was attacked on the street (not while running) when in my early teens

It prevented me from being outside, on my own, at night for a good 20 something years- it is only really now, in my early forties that I can go out at night without feeling fear in the pit of my stomach

I totally appreciate people's fears.

I do run, and am not afraid, I don't know why. I think part of me thinks I've already experienced what can happen, and this time I wouldn't freeze, I can't be surprised by male violence anymore.

I am ready to die and tear someone else's throat out doing so.

It is actually pretty fucked up that this is at the heart of my carefree running, where I don't seem bothered by the thought if catcalling etc.

Xenophile · 16/08/2016 15:02

Argy, I wonder why you think running at night would be dumb, when men aren't a problem. What do you think will happen if you run in the dark that makes running then "dumb"?

VestalVirgin · 16/08/2016 18:19

Argy, I wonder why you think running at night would be dumb, when men aren't a problem. What do you think will happen if you run in the dark that makes running then "dumb"?

If you see badly in the darkness, I suppose you could step in dog shit or stumble over a root, or something. That's why I would not run in a dark forest.

@Buffy: I suspect that, too. But not every woman is able to, or even wants to, keep a dog. So, not really a solution. (But proves that harrassment is not meant as compliment. If the men really thought it was okay, they wouldn't be scared away by a dog ...)

Xenophile · 16/08/2016 18:37

But, that's not dumb really, is it? And could easily be negated by wearing a head torch. Still, I wait to see what the poster I asked has to say, given that it was their post I responded to.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 16/08/2016 18:51

Argy later says that men who run in the dark are dumb too.
I suppose she could mean it's just too dangerous for anyone, woman or man to run (because of?? muggers? murderers?).
I tripped over something on the pavement running in the dark, really messed up my knee.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 16/08/2016 18:52

I'd love to have a dog to run with, I don't think my cat would be a suitable substitute.

But saying that it's like when people suggest women should take self defence classes. Yes it may solve the problem for that woman but it doesn't address the root cause.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 16/08/2016 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vvlgari · 16/08/2016 20:36

It can be easy to spook yourself for no real reason when you're outside alone at night, particularly if you've had a bad experience. I do think though, that while it's good to be alert to your surroundings (hence why I don't wear earphones when I run at night), building yourself up to be afraid of something that may be a man in the distance isn't a healthy thing to feel.

Before anyone jumps on me, yes, I know that bad things have happened to women out running alone at night but it's not good to let it get to a point when you're afraid of going out alone to exercise and spend the whole time stiff with fear. Sorry, not explaining this very well. I just don't think we should be afraid of exercising outside just in case something happens.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 16/08/2016 20:41

I understand Vvlgari - it isn't right to expect people to let fear ruin their life. However, it's certainly not right to dismiss someone's fears as irrational if they do speak about being scared.

After my experience I had to really grit my teeth to get back to running again and for a long time I wouldn't run alone. In the end I started running alone again because it was too much hassle trying to find a time others could run with me. The key is though, I did it for me, not because other people were telling me I was being irrational.

Vvlgari · 16/08/2016 20:57

God no, I wasn't trying to suggest that it was irrational, especially if you have had a bad experience. I hope that wasn't how my post came across. I just hate to think of women being afraid to exercise alone because we're afraid of what might happen, if that makes sense.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 16/08/2016 21:11

No sorry it wasn't you that was implying that, but other posters have definitely implied that being scared is silly and we all need to get over it...

UncontrolledImmigrant · 16/08/2016 21:14

Sorry was that directed at me Confused

My experiences are my own and my lack of fear the result of not feeling like I've got anything left to lose- not something I'd wish on anyone, actually, it's a bit crap, because it was born out of violence

Oh well, I guess

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 16/08/2016 21:25

Haha actually it was to Argy, sorry I should have just said. I do have sympathy with your somewhat fatalistic mindset - it was how I got myself back out running again.

But women seem to have to deal with a balancing act of both taking precautions (because there is danger) but also not being scared of "silly comments" from men (because they're not dangerous, don't be so daft)

UncontrolledImmigrant · 16/08/2016 21:58

Haha? I was violently attacked- not yelled at, or had some dude say alright love but thrown to the ground and assaulted

And 'haha you have some sympathy with my fatalistic mindset'

Bloody hell. 'Haha' I've heard it all now

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 16/08/2016 22:09

God, I'm so sorry I mistook you for another poster - that makes me sound like such a dick. I was not in any way laughing at what happened to you. I was trying to say that it was Argy who was being absurd and that it was unfortunate that other posters were thinking that my comments were directed at them when everyone else was being reasonable. Anyway, I will be sure to read properly before posting next time - apologies again.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 16/08/2016 22:25

I don't run, but I do walk to and from my gym along a canal towpath. I felt compelled to share my experiences.

I have been shouted at, insulted, stared at, obstructed, followed and catcalled. It is pathetic. I have a big gob and shout back, though. I refuse to be intimidated (and quite frankly could probably pound any man into the dust if he tried anything) but I still sometimes feel uncomfortable in the winter especially. I don't know what the solution is, but some men are truly lame. Some of them don't even put any bloody effort into their insults!

PinkyofPie · 16/08/2016 22:30

What is it about being in gym or workout clothes that makes one (as a woman) feel more vulnerable? As I too would feel very aware when walking home from the gym or from a run

ArgyMargy · 16/08/2016 23:00

OK I don't run at night because I run for pleasure which, for me, is being outside enjoying the world. I walk for the same reasons. If it's dark there is not much pleasure to be had. I also can't run in the cold and in this country if it's dark it is generally cold. Maybe it's not so dumb for other people to run in the dark but I would have thought not being able to see adds risk and complexity. But of course a head torch is an option.

I'm not sure why I'm being called absurd but there we are. I do think we have grown a generation of women who are scared of too many things and who interpret every glance, sound, comment as either an insult or an imminent attack. Whilst I fully appreciate there are women who have been attacked, many of the things quoted here are "feelings" that something could or might happen. Eg I saw a man and it frightened me. Has anyone ever considered that a car might hoot to warn a runner (esp with headphones in - a dangerous habit - probably running with the traffic - another dangerous habit) that they are passing? We have raised children on "stranger danger" and constant talk of paedophiles and rapists. That's fine if we now all feel our children are safer but I suggest an unintended consequence is that many women now seem frightened of their own shadow.

I'm so sorry that people feel they can't go out of their house and enjoy the wonderful, privileged, beautiful country that we live in.

Swipe left for the next trending thread