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Original poster

Running while female

105 replies

MooPointCowsOpinion · 15/08/2016 20:12

I've taken up running and it's only been a week, 3 runs, and I've already had a very creepy encounter. I chose a very secluded run through a wooded area, just a few cyclists and dog walkers but a good path, and not near a road or a town. Felt perfect, as I'm out of shape and wanted to just focus on running and not think about bumping into people I know.

After the creepy encounter, I don't want to run there anymore. And I'm angry, so so angry. I should be able to run anywhere without fear. my biggest worry was if I would complete the run, or needed a wee half way round. Is this just how running is, unless you go through a built up area?

OP posts:
Original poster
MooPointCowsOpinion · 15/08/2016 21:45

I imagine for me it would look like I run on the spot a lot...

OP posts:
OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 15/08/2016 21:45

What really pisses me off is that I haven't stopped running despite this but I bet so many women have, especially those starting to run with less confidence anyway. And how many haven't even started because they know this is a risk they take?

It doesn't even take an obviously sinister act when you're a beginner and nervous either, just one bloke making a comment that makes you self conscious and aware that you're out alone and then that's another woman who loses the opportunity to get fit in one of the easiest and cheapest ways. No wonder we have problems with women's participation in sport.

annandale · 15/08/2016 21:45

During the few months that I was running regularly dh used to be around if it was dark. I hadn't really thought about it but he had.

I once ran a nice route up to a village near us but realised it was very isolated. Was terrified. There was a man far up the road, he never did anything but I was so frightened. I don't know if it was rational or not but I have never been back.

capercaillie · 15/08/2016 21:53

I've run for years, also cycled and hiked. Never had an incident and rarely felt spooked (except by the evil looking cows and horses). Most of the time I run in countryside but have run in cities as well.

ArgyMargy · 15/08/2016 22:24

In the winter (basically GMT) I go to a gym. Can't run in the cold either! I may be a wimp but there we are. And yes, I do think men who run in the dark are dumb, too.

ArgyMargy · 15/08/2016 22:25

Of course it wasn't rational, annandale, to be frightened because you saw a man. What on earth did you think would happen?

J0kersSmile · 15/08/2016 22:32

I haven't been spooked by anyone but I do get fucking beeped at all the time.

I hadn't had a car or van beep at me regularly since I was a teenager but anytime I go running it now happens. It really annoys me, you wouldn't beep at a bloke running so why are you beeping at me. Do they really think I'm going to look at the and think wow he beeped at me let me go and give him my number.

PinkyofPie · 15/08/2016 22:32

Argy Hmm considering how many women are attacked by men each year out lone running I think it was a perfectly rational feeling for annandale

scallopsrgreat · 15/08/2016 22:34

Maybe encounter the abuse experienced by women on this thread? There seems to be plenty of it to go around. I too have experienced it. In busy areas as well.

It's not irrational. But way to go dismissing women's feelings.

scallopsrgreat · 15/08/2016 22:35

That was to Argy.

Felascloak · 15/08/2016 22:37

I'm a bit surprised you would come onto a thread where numerous people have posted bad experiences they've had with men while running and tell a poster she's irrational for being scared of men while out running Argy. Just because you've not had a problem doesn't mean it doesn't happen

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/08/2016 22:39

No one has ever shouted "boo" at me... It's more over friendliness, asking if I want someone to keep time or run me home or run with me, sometimes comments on clothes, but I'm now going to be worried about people shouting "boo"! I'd jump out of my skin. I'm flinchy anyway!

Sigh. The number of people who have suggested I get a treadmill or go to a gym to be safer is incredible.

I'll keep running. It's sad though. You should be able to run without being bothered by anyone else!

FreshwaterSelkie · 16/08/2016 06:18

I'm so sorry you had that experience so soon in your running career, moo.

It's rotten that women feel so afraid, and how it constrains our behaviour. I've been a runner for years, and when I first clicked in the box to type this post, I thought I would be typing "fortunately I've never had any bad experiences", but then I realised that I think that because I've just dismissed them, chalked them up to experience and buried them so I can keep on running.

I've been flashed, twice. I've had men and young boys run alongside me, either taking the piss or chatting me up. Beeped at countless times. Had kids throw stuff at me. And then there's just the infuriating shit, like people stopping me to ask for the time or ask for directions - erm, hello, I'm a bit fucking BUSY right now! (I really don't think they would do this to a man - no male runner I know has had this happen, yet it's happened repeatedly to me).

Things are much better now, all of these experiences happened when I ran in the city, I live very rurally these days and I've never had anything bad happen. I seldom see anyone when I'm out running.

Please don't let it put you off, OP. Have you tried a local running forum or club for tips on routes, or maybe even think about joining for company? Don't be intimidated - all the running clubs I've ever gone to seriously have runners of every standard, so don't worry about thinking you're not a good enough runner.

JacquettaWoodville · 16/08/2016 06:52

"doesn't even take an obviously sinister act when you're a beginner and nervous either, just one bloke making a comment that makes you self conscious and aware that you're out alone and then that's another woman who loses the opportunity to get fit in one of the easiest and cheapest ways. No wonder we have problems with women's participation in sport."

Yy to this.

the3amclub · 16/08/2016 06:52

I'm a newbie runner and I've already had two relatively creepy experiences running through woods near my suburban house. I will now only run down the side of a busy wide pavement road which is not nearly as enjoyable. I am so pissed at myself for being scared of the woods (!) and also angry that we live in a world where female runners do get negative attention in a way male runners never do. It's crazy I have to limit my choices to feel safe whilst exercising. I used to run around a very boring field opposite my house rather than into the countryside because it felt safer Hmm

Rationally I know the chance of being attacked is v small. My lizard brain can't absorb that though.

It's likely that I'll be hiring a treadmill come winter, to be honest.

ArgyMargy · 16/08/2016 06:54

How many women is that, Pinky?

JacquettaWoodville · 16/08/2016 07:04

It's not just about being attacked, it's about being commented on or otherwise disrupted.

FreshwaterSelkie · 16/08/2016 07:14

There are two sexual offences by men described for you right there ^^ in my post above, Margy.

FreshwaterSelkie · 16/08/2016 07:15

One of them just showed me his limp little penis as I ran past, and another walked alongside me while wanking.

That do you?

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 16/08/2016 07:35

This blog about running while female was interesting.

I don't know why but I have been incredibly lucky. I used to play rugby so started off my outdoor training with my teammates and never received any comments which boosted my starter's confidence.
Then I ran on my own (often but not always with a dog/s) and chose a naice park where it's predominantly dog walkers and joggers, it wasn't very close to a town or school for people to just be hanging around iykwim.
Again never felt spooked or heard any comments.
Then I moved to a small town and ran out of town into countryside - I hardly ever saw anyone on these runs, and again often had dogs with me.
I have had a few vans beeping at me but always feel superior to these cerbrally challenged tiny-pricked shit weasels.

I wear headphones so may have been missing stuff but I suppose being 6' and possibly having two dogs strapped to you helps.
I would comfortably run in the dark, even through woods and quiet paths. I use to run with a petzl and was sometimes a bit scared (of the dark) but never actually saw anyone.

My worst encounters have always been cycling. I've been beeped, shouted at, laughed at, almost run over and once had a can of drink thrown at me from a passing car.
People men can be total cunts.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 16/08/2016 07:50

I have been running over 10 years and have had less than a handful of unpleasant encounters in that time so please don't let this incident put you off

I run on the roadside and also on footpaths and trails. I run in the dark all through the winter but tend to stay in areas with street lights or take a head torch

Yea, there are a few idiots out there but this thread is quite depressing and implies that you can't leave the house without being heckled

Please don't give up OP!

MatildaOfTuscany · 16/08/2016 08:22

I'm lucky in that I now have that magic running aid, the menopausal cloak of invisibility (TM) - though it does mean I get the occasional "go granny!" comment, but these are annoying rather than threatening.

I think the point is not that these incidents and comments are ubiquitous (and that we therefore shouldn't leave the house for fear of them) - I am lucky enough that on the whole it has not been my experience - but that they happen at all. Why the fuck does a certain sort of man feel it is okay to invade women's space, make them feel threatened and make them feel they shouldn't be there? And why doesn't society as a whole come down like a ton of bricks on the minority of men who feel they can behave this way? I'm very heartened to hear about the poster upthread whose experience was taken seriously by the police, to the extent that they logged the behaviour, and had similar accounts from other women to the extent of having a photofit of him.

Please can the posters on this thread who've been lucky enough not to have had this experience keep the focus on the wrong behaviour of men, rather than the supposed over-sensitivity of women? (I know your intentions in some cases may be good: not wanting women to over-estimate the risk and be put off running - but when these incidents have actually happened to a woman, it really doesn't help her to say "well, statistically they're relatively rare so don't let that put you off").

Pettywoman · 16/08/2016 09:06

I've enjoyed running for years. I'm fortunate that I live very rurally and usually see nobody on my route, just deer and hares. I usually feel safe because any lurking weirdos would have had to lurk for a bloody long time on the off chance a female jogger turns up.

The places I don't like running are the more well trodden but still quiet places like the local cycle track and the woods. I've had comments thrown at me from old blokes in those kind of places. It freaks me out but makes me run very fast.

I've had more hassel running in London. The white van man comments are horrible if you run by a busy road.

Original poster
MooPointCowsOpinion · 16/08/2016 11:01

I think it's easier to say 'don't be put off' than to actually not be put off. The man had to climb down a steep bank from the bridge he was watching me from, push through a thick hedge, it would have taken some effort for him to come after me like he did. He was definitely malicious, and no statistic about how rare it is to be attacked is going to change how scared I was while he followed me or how angry I am that he will be able to go back to that route whenever he wants and I can't, when he was in the wrong. He should be the one to have to change.

The micro aggressions happen so often! I'm astonished anyone manages to keep going out of their house at all after some of the stories above.

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 16/08/2016 11:37

How scary! I've had scary stuff too, it sucks. I don't think men realise how often this happens.

Oh, they do realise. They are the ones doing it. Not the ones in your family, hopefully, but chances are you know one who does it.

That's the problem. Women aren't being threatened and assaulted by lonely woods or unlit streets, we are threatened and assaulted by men.

Is it just me or aren't there many feminist efforts against that kind of thing at the moment? Take back the night and stuff ...

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