You have a beautiful wife

[RudeElf]

This was a FB comment from a Carl Frampton supporter.

You've just gone 12 rounds and been named world champion at something you've dedicated years of your life to.

But congratulations on someone else's appearance.

What the fuck does his wife's appearance have to do with Carl Frampton? Why is that something that he is being praised for?

I know it is tiny in the grand scheme of things but this really pissed me off today for some reason. Feel free to ignore. Just felt like i needed to get that out.

Yesmykingdomyou have hit on it, its congratulating him for pulling a stunner.youve won the boxing title and you own a pretty person.

So this was the point of your thread when someone other than I said it. Grand.

social interaction will cease !

Apologies anna my post was for cleebope. I hadnt seen your posted when i sent it.

abbie it seemed like you were making a completely different point when you first posted. It came across like a sarcastic dig at boxing which wasnt the poing of my post. Apologies if i have misinterpretted that. You seem to think i have something personal against you as you indicate i agreed when someone other than you made the point. I have no idea who you are so that is certainly not the case, it was just that your post didnt seem to be saying what i think you are now saying it was.

rude I think your post at 00.28 shows that you were in an angry state of mind. Hopefully you have calmed down.

I think you are reading far too much in to it. I get comments about my dog and it doesn't fuck me off. Someone made an observation (an not an unpleasant one) and commented on it. I'm sure if there were pictures of his kids (if he has any ) they would have been mentioned too.

Yes this is a feminist bored but I think that getting fucked off over someone saying another bloke had a good looking wife isn't froth worthy.

Here have a morning glass

No i think it matters.

And a dog is something you own. Not comparable to a wife or partner.

Men have said this to my husband I'm not but you are welcome to believe it as if it's his achievement

If someone says my husband s handsome it has a totally different feel, they are complimenting my taste not my achievement.

I agree it's weird and your complaint is legitimate, OP, and it's also exceedingly tiresome sexism to tell a woman she's angry and needs to calm down based on some lines of text.

It's ok to compliment some ones wife or husband. Other wise your asking for a complete block out of positive physical appearance comments about other people's partners. I think that's leaning a bit to far the other way

If you compliment someone's wife/husband surely you address it to the person themselves. You dont include it as part of congratulations to the person whose appearance it isnt.

I can see how someone might say "i saw your wife on wednesday, she is a beautiful lady".

But this was in the context of congratulating him on his acheivement. The beautiful wife comment was part of his congratulations. As if it was something he had acheived.

If someone says my husband is handsome it has a totally different feel, they are complimenting my taste not my achievement.

That is feminism, in a nutshell. The patriarchal structures in our society identified by feminism mean that a comment about a woman have totally different interpretations and underpinnings than if they were made about a man. Even if the words are exactly the same. If you discuss such comments on FWR, you have to bear this in mind. Feminists view life differently.

• Perhaps I should have said that feminists view society differently.

I do find it weird. And definitely much more tilted towards women than men.

Passing remarks about physical attributes (and of course women are judged thus much more than men) are considered rude unless they are strongly positive.

Beatiful/pretty/cute/attractive are supposedly nice comments.

Ugly/odd/unattractive/eccentric are supposedly not nice comments.

Even neutral words like plain/average/okay-looking are supposedly not nice comments.

"You have a plain wife" would never be uttered. Or "your wife has an odd smile. Has she thought about getting her teeth fixed?" These things would be absolutely socially unacceptable but passing comment about her if you consider that she passes the beauty test then that's fine.

//If someone says my husband is handsome it has a totally different feel, they are complimenting my taste not my achievement.

That is feminism, in a nutshell. The patriarchal structures in our society identified by feminism mean that a comment about a woman have totally different interpretations and underpinnings than if they were made about a man. Even if the words are exactly the same. If you discuss such comments on FWR, you have to bear this in mind. Feminists view life differently//

Actually men shake my husbands hand, or pat him on the back with a raised eyebrow and say it. That's not the way women say it to me, or men about my husband. Likewise when a man tells me my husband is handsome, it's usually along the lines of what a tall and strapping man he is. I'm not looking for difference, it is different. It's the same with my children, my daughter gets "complimented" in a totally different way.

"Look up your daughters" "Keep her locked away" as a brief example.

Grimarse. Are you saying there aren't patriarchal structures?

RudeElf ....

No bowing out or letting people that just want to argue and minimise anything you say silence you. you are free to start a thread on whatever the fuck you like and if they don't they are free to look elsewhere.

posie are people going that though or just having a conversation about it? Why so angry ?

Who is angry?

Posie, there are intersecting societal structures. Feminism - at least the bit on here - chooses to concentrate on maleness, rather than other causes of inequality. I was just bringing that to the attention of people not familiar with FWR.

What sort of things do other men say about your husband's attractiveness?

Men say he's big, strong and strapping. "Good looking lad"...

Noone tells me I've done well. Perhaps I'm objectively more attractive than my husband that's what I frequently tell him anyway

I've a number of times heard "how did you manage that?" from men to other men in the context of them having an attractive wife where he is deemed to perhaps be "punching above his weight" so therefore, yes, positioned as if it's an achievement.

I think rude elf has a fair point and am a little confused why quite so much rudeness is being directed at her.

Interesting. I once sent DH to toddler group in my place and the following week was greeted with, "Wow Tink, we all thought toddlers was looking up when your handsome DH turned up." Definitely a congratulatory, well done, vibe.

Me too Happy

sexual capital and all that, presume he makes a load of money.