women's issues, always remember men are victims too

[DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease]

Just frustrated with reading /hearing that men are victims too. Some people seem to only allow permission for issues like advice for 'women suffering from domestic violence' to be discussed if a prominent statement that men are also victims of domestic violence is made. It's infuriating, not because it's not true but because it's so pervasive - you can't write a blog giving specific advice for women in dv relationships without someone commenting, seemingly every time, that men are victims too. Also happens in discussions about rape.

Anyone else find this a common occurrence, I don't know the stats but the fact that men are victims too seems to occur more frequently in the discussions than the instances of men actually being the victim of the scenario? Does it irritate you?

Do you have a stock resort to help bring the conversation back to women without denying or disregarding that yes, bad things happen to men too?

If you want to talk about women's-only issues noone gives a fuck.

Interesting perspective there, I wouldn't call being called "sick scum" evidence that "noone gives a fuck", and don't accept that you do either. Which begs the question - why lie?

Holy Granola!
From which fresh hell did priaget emerge?

Please, go back!

It's not a fresh hell, Ophelia.

More a well trodden path from a murky, dusty, MRA site ;)

Kind of proving the point of the thread, though

I cant believe anyone would minimise FGM. It's more than just the procedure (which is horrific in the extreme), it's the reasons for doing it - to make women 'worth' more. To stop them becoming sexually active. To remove any chance of enjoyment of sex. To ensure they're not 'spoiled goods'. It's fucking disgusting and circumcision isn't even in the same league.

haven't you noticed how men (or women) who dare to even mention male issues get shouted abuse as by feminists?

No ... no I haven't. Ever. And I don't think that's because I haven't paid attention. People talk about male issues all day long.
Never even saw feminists complaining about all those adverts for medication against enlarged prostates.

Feminists also are more or less the only people who mention the male issue of male violence. You'd think men would be more interested in fixing their problem with violence, but strangely enough, it is only some brave male schoolteachers who want to fix their male pupil's violence problems, and feminists. That's it.

Male violence is a terrible problem, and I can't take anyone seriously who tries to suggest that DV is something men suffer from equally at the hands of woman, it's depressing that anyone could take this seriously. My opinion is that even those who spout the "what about men" line don't seriously believe that there are 000's of grown men cowering in terror from their violent wives either.

But is it really the case that feminists are the only ones trying to do something about it ?? Men go to, and have gone to, great lengths to prevent violence on the part of other men. The functioning of our society is possible because of a monopoly on organised violence. This is another feminist position i struggle with, whereas I agree that violence is pretty much exclusively a male problem, I would argue that most of the effort expended trying to control violent men is coming from other men no ?

perhaps I am a pessimist but how do you propose to stop males from being violent given that it has been this way since time immemorial ? The "solution" the patriarchy came up with was to try and control it rather than stop it altogether.

This is another feminist position i struggle with, whereas I agree that violence is pretty much exclusively a male problem, I would argue that most of the effort expended trying to control violent men is coming from other men no ?

Well, of course men don't want to be victims of violence, so they do something against it. However, you will notice that violence against women is legal in many patriarchies.

I do not agree that the most effort trying to control violent men is coming from other men - it is coming from society as a whole, which is about as many women as men.

Men who are not policemen, and thus paid to control male violence, are often not very invested in stopping other men's violence against women. (And even policemen ... if that crime novel I read recently contains a kernel of truth, then some policement treat domestic violence of males against women not as a real crime, and even allow offenders to attack female colleagues)

perhaps I am a pessimist but how do you propose to stop males from being violent given that it has been this way since time immemorial ? The "solution" the patriarchy came up with was to try and control it rather than stop it altogether.

Well, many wise people say that you cannot change others, you can only change yourself.
One option to stop male violence against women would be to live separate from males. (You may notice that this principle, as embodied by houses where women can go to be away from violent husbands, has been invented by women, and at best gets some funding from the general public)

I am of the opinion that violent men should be prevented from breeding by reducing women's economic dependancy on men, wholly legalizing abortion everywhere, and promoting a male ideal that doesn't glorify violence.
(And of course by locking rapists up in prison for a long, long, time. Without women, women here meaning any person with a functioning uterus, regardless of how that person identifies. All rapists with penises are to be treated as male, obviously.)

Considering that violent males have, historically, fathered most children, it should be possible to reverse that process ... though it would likely take a long time.