Charlotte Proudman

[JeanSeberg]

www.theguardian.com/law/2015/sep/08/charlotte-proudman-alexander-carter-silk-linkedin-photo-comment-law-firms

Good for her.

So his choice of 'stunning' was to do with his sexuality was it JAPAB? Interesting.

It's good of you also to fell women what they should and shouldn't think, feel and do. How would we manage without you?

I have responded in a similar way to LinkedIn messages.

However, there is something about her attitude that is slightly off putting, and as she now represents all women I rather hate that.

'I'm shocked at the level of handmaidenry and apologism'

Oh. My. God. - same here. You have to keep pinching yourself and reminding yourself that this is 2015. I was listening to the radio yesterday and there were callers, mostly women, absolutely falling over themselves to stick all of the blame on her.

It's so fucking tedious and exhausting. Calm down dear, its just a joke. Just a compliment. Just a bit of banter. Can't a man compliment a woman any more? The usual old tiresome shit, over and over and over again. She said she had several sleazy comments on her LinkedIn page just that week, which she had ignored, but I don't blame her for cracking and giving him both barrels. Why the fuck should a woman just have to keep on putting up and shutting up?

Of course she used an attractive photo of herself, in which she looks smart and professional. And he knew damn well that he was being a sleaze, because he referred to the comment as 'horrendously politically incorrect' before he even wrote it! And then followed it up with some awful creepy stuff about wanting to make links and share skills with her. Barf. And of course he would never have written anything like this to a male colleague. I mean COME ON PEOPLE! What's with all the muppets making excuses for him???? I am furious about this, as I'm sure you can tell

I hope that Charlotte Proudman is ok and that she feels she made the right decision, both to reply to him as she did and to refer to it on Twitter.

JAPAB wrote - "Presumably he is heterosexual and so is unlikely to have those sorts of aesthetic responses to men."

I think what you describe as his "aesthetic" response to people on a business website being dependent on him acting in line with his own sexuality should be seen as a problem, not an excuse.

'The reaction has been incredible - woman speaks out and gets vilified for it'

Yep, more of the same tedious shit. Any woman who sticks her nose above the parapet gets hung drawn and quartered on Twitter and then it just spreads like wildfire. So of course, the best thing to do is just keep our mouths shut and get on with life in silence

An 'aesthetic' response might have been - 'by the way, the photo you use looks extremely professional. The quality of the lighting looks great. Do you mind me asking where you had it done?'

What I don't get is that the bloke knew he was being offensive, and admitted to it, and yet she still gets the blame!

Wow JAPAB, you are the gift that keeps on giving, aren't you?

She posted the exchange as an example of the endless sexist twatbadgery she gets.

Proportion. Blown. Way. Out. Of. Why exactly does she need to be vilified? And excuses made for the guy at every turn?

She has a point, and people are reacting as if she accused the guy of rape...

Yes. She could have chosen to put up and shut up but why should she? I suspect for every one like her who speaks out there are ten thousand women who put up and shut up. In that context she's barely made a dent.

cailindana
It's good of you also to fell women what they should and shouldn't think, feel and do. How would we manage without you?

Not sure where what women should 'think' and 'feel' comes from, but if you want to go down that route on 'do' I could complain about how terrible it is that all those women are telling him that he shouldn't have done what he did. But I won't. Anyone is free to think that he shouldn't have complimented her on her photo, and anyone is free to think that OTOH there is insufficient evidence to justify some of the specific things she accused him of in response, and so she perhaps shouldn't have made those specific claims of him at this stage.

Can anyone explain what is Un pc about admiring the quality of another

What exactly is Un pc about admiring another professionals photo quality?

Terribly un pc to admire the quality of a photograph because reasons.

Except of course that it's bloody obvious to all but the deliberately obtuse or the terminally stupid that he wasn't admiring the lighting and composition of the photo but was making a poorly judged an ill conceived pass at a woman the same age as his daughter.

Exactly

Presumably he is heterosexual and so is unlikely to have those sorts of aesthetic responses to men.

Well, yes. That is what makes it sexist.

Don't think there is sufficient evidence to support her responding accusations of sexism and misogyny.

The evidence is that bit you just said about not replying like that to men. It's right there in that sentence you just wrote.

I don't think you understand what the word misogyny means JAPAB

Ok I've just googled women short hair men as mentioned earlier in this thread. Apparently my short hair is a sign that I'm damaged and less fertile. And to do something to my own hair that makes me less attractive to men is a sign that I'm deranged.

I just can't get that idea out of my mind - that my own appearance/body are not mine to do with as I want.

Really Chrysanthemum5 . The fertility thing is just bizarre. I've had short hair virtually all my life and I'm pretty certain I was 'fertile' .I've been called deranged. Fairly certain it wasn't for short hair though!

I find that and Proudman's situation interesting. When people claim women police women about their looks, where do they think that comes from? Hmm. Let me think now... Oh yes! Men. There we go.

I know, I know I shouldn't be shocked. But I'm older so didn't grow up with the internet and if I knew someone was a sexist knob I just didn't talk to them.

And DH is not like that at all so I think in some ways I've been insulated from exposure to these men.

Although DH and I watched a bit of 'it was alright in the 70s' last night and I'd forgotten about what passed for normal when I was a child.

LuisCarol
The evidence is that bit you just said about not replying like that to men. It's right there in that sentence you just wrote.

Yes, I made the point that a heterosexual is unlikely to find members of the same sex "stunning", only members of the opposite sex, and therefore you would not particularly expect them to describe them thus.

I think you are on a sticky wicket deducing sexism from the fact alone that a heterosexual man would describe a woman as stunning but not a man. I've been known to describe Angelina Jolie as "stunning" (or similar words to that effect). I feel no need to lie that I find some man stunning because someone else has the notion that I am being "sexist" otherwise. Although that said, if I was to voice my thoughts to Angelina on her Lindekin page you could certainly say that I have been inappropriate.

Assuming that the speculation made by another poster that he would not have described a man as stunning is correct, this is not enough "evidence".

LyndaNotLinda
As far as I am aware, misogyny means hatred or contempt of women.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist

1. You seem to be using a definition of sexism along the lines of "something happening to a woman that she doesn't like".

1. You cannot deduce that I hold "contempt" for someone just because I behave towards them in a way you do not agree with. I could disagree with you that it is wrong, just be ignorant, be lacking in social awareness, or just have a skewiffy sense of propriety.