Women do it too.

[BudgeUp]

I'm feeling somewhat frustrated because I've just been talking to a friend about why that idiot felt the need to hack mumsnet and when I linked it to the wider issue of men (NAMALT) silencing women talking together online, her immediate response was "women hack just as much as men".

Similarly in the past when, for example, a newsworthy sex abuse/rape/DV/murder has been a topic of conversation there is always one who points out that women also abuse/rape/hit/murder.

Just like "Not all men" I find it incredibly derailing and am never sure how to respond to it without sounding like I completely hate men.

Sorry just wanted to vent.

Ah, thank you for clarifying your position so very clearly Sonny.

Shame you're completely wrong but never mind. .

Without looking at all this inconvenient data. Sonny, your helpful if somewhat heteronormative infographic says 3/7 men : 4/7 women, and you claim 1 man and 1 woman a week are killed by their opposite sex partner cough, heteronormative, cough

Correct me if this sounds like a straw man, but that "data" (term used loosely) implies that a greater proportion of male DV victims are murdered by women (1/3) than female DV victims murdered by men (1/4). Really? Really?!

Where are all these dead men hiding?

Women cook and eat them, Iamaboveandbeyond, using their inherent cooking skillz.

That data didn't say what your infographic said it said, Sonnyboy.

The Edible Man cometh after all.

Manwidge

Bread
Man
Bread

Ugh. You need some mayonnaise.

Sonny, they might be rife in your fevered imagination, but most of the posters on this board live in the real world, where they aren't.

Although your statement here Thankfully the courts have assisted me in preventing in counteracting my daughter's mother's harmful and emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive behaviour. suggests to me that maybe the false accusations mad in the family court in your case weren't made against you.

Men who have been good fathers continue to be good fathers no matter what happens to their relationship with their children's mother. Men who bleat on about how mean the family courts are (and women for that matter) for not allowing unsupervised access tend to have been shitty parents all along. At least in my vast experience.

PlaysWell,

With respect, it is not a 'fevered imagination'.

I don't understand the rest of your post.

Your 'vast' experience?

Hamis,

Apologies, I'd hope that you can stop 'patting' yourself soon. Together we can beat it but I would concede that the patting is most definitely the 'patting' hand of the patriarchy.

I'll be back in a moment, I'm stressed, meetings with the patriarchy and all that... you crazy fool!

I had a quick look at the ONS crime stats initially referenced by sonnyson12. The 2011 report is a PDF available here, with the appendix tables as an Excel file here. The TL;DR for this post is that the infographic is correct, but irrelevant and possibly misleading in the context sonny presented it in here.

The 4:3 female:male figure appears to be people who have experienced "partner abuse (non sexual)" in the last year. For "any partner abuse", it's about 4.4:3. There's a figure for sexual assault (by anybody, not just family) in the same table. In that case, the ratio is 25:3.

Of course, this is irrelevant. The sex of the victim doesn't tell you the sex of the perpetrator (and the raw numbers are low enough that the victims could be all homosexual, all heterosexual, or more probably a mix), It's the perpetrator's sex which is the interesting thing when talking about whether "women do it too", rather than whether "men have it done to them too". For that, you need to look elsewhere. Unfortunately there's no breakdown of domestic violence by sex of perpetrator. However, there are a couple of tables that do that breakdown for other crimes.

Table 4.10 (in the appendix tables) shows that 99% of sexual assaults on women were by men. You can't find out anything about the attacks on men because there were so few. Definitely an overwhelmingly male thing overall, though.

Table 2.12 (again in the appendix) shows that 204 men were indicted for homicide, of whom 83% were convicted. Meanwhile 25 women were indicted and 76% convicted. That's 8-9 men killing someone for every woman doing it.

So yes, women do it too. Just not in anywhere the numbers that men do. Why should that be any different for domestic violence?

Sonny, I'm not surprised you don't understand my post. Perhaps you could ask someone to explain it to you, that might help. They might also explain Speverend's post to you as well, given that it has things called facts in it and you're not good with those.

My husband raised his daughter from a young age while his wife worked. He has photo albums literally plastered with pictures of him and her. His wife was a career woman, there are photos of birthday parties where she was not present.
In the end, after she had an affair with a work colleague and told my husband that he was not any kind of man staying at home raising a child, he divorced her.
She alleged all kinds of nasty stuff and won full custody.
I could tell similar stories about my brother, who regularly drives from Portsmouth to Birmingham to see his daughter, only to be told when he gets there that he can't. He's been through the courts and has a court order in his favour which she ignores without consequence.
The allegation that the earlier poster made that men that take issue with the family courts have been denied access with good reason is distasteful and untrue.

The same husband who you posted about having physically assaulted his son, so much so that he left a red hand mark on him and got into trouble with the law?

Your brother's story is sad. It's also not indicative of the family court's bias to mothers, if the family courts were biased in this way, they would surely also force 'deadbeat' fathers to see their children as the vast majority of mothers want, no? The fathers who can't be arsed to drive to see their children, but who sit on the internet bleating about not being allowed to?

Anecdata.

I know two women killed by their partners and zero men. I also know two men who deserved full custody of their children, and both won full custody.

My husband is a career man . There are photos of birthday parties which he is not in ( because he is taking the photos ). We have many photos of me and my children .

I don't think any of these facts prove that he is an unfit father .