Healthy living support thread for feminists

[SeraOfeliaFalfurrias]

In response to a few discussions we've had down the pub - there are some of us who are striving for better health through better diets and more exercise, but who struggle among the usual support groups where it's all about looking better rather than good health. And it certainly can be tricky as a feminist, walking that fine line between not conforming to beauty ideals through dieting and making sure you actually look after your body through a healthy lifestyle.

So here is a support thread for those of us who are trying to eat better and get more exercise.

Me, I could do with losing a bit over 2 stone to get back to a healthy weight. I had an ankle injury after running a marathon about 3 years back, and between not being able to exercise and the stress of my PhD (I'm a stress binge eater) I gained 3 stone and lost all my hard-earned fitness. I'm finally getting back on track, I've lost nearly a stone and am hitting the exercise hard again. The hardest bit has been getting back into running - while my ankle is better, my joints are really feeling the extra weight I'm carrying. It's also hard to do karate when your wobble gets in the way of you doing a good kick and you get out of breath when sparring. So I need to lose weight in order to enjoy my sports hobbies again. I'm taking it slowly, doing Slimming World but not religiously - I'm not in a hurry to lost the weight, but I also need to watch that I don't take it so slowly that it never happens!

Yesterday I ran 8km, which is really encouraging as I was still going strong at the end. Just a couple of months ago I was run/walking 5km and would have welcomed death at the end! So I feel like some kind of switch has been flipped and my body now "remembers" how to run. The down side is that both ankles are aching and stiff today.

My diet has been rather rubbish the last couple of weeks, including a few binges, and I put some pounds back on, but I'm in that good place mentally now and hopefully ready to focus on getting my body healthy again. I loved being lean and fit and athletic, and I'm not getting any younger (thoroughly middle-aged), so I feel like the window of opportunity for getting myself in a sustained state of good health without drastic measures being required is closing!

I've bought some gym clothes with the intention of starting to exercise. I've also bought a razor so I can't put off going to the gym because I have hairy pits. For some reason I can go to the pool when I'm hairy but not the gym. I know it makes no sense.

What trainers would people recommend?

Thanks everyone. It still seems quite small to me - I never used to bother going out the door for less than 10km. I've run 3 marathons and 10 half marathons - I was a very serious runner so being so 'unserious' has taken getting used to. But hopefully, if not fully back to where I was, I'll be much closer than I am now. Shedding a good few more kilos will help, I'm sure, not having to heft so much bulk around.

Going to Body Combat tomorrow morning... got my gym bag packed and waiting outside my bedroom door. I know what you mean about the 6pm being far less appealing when you actually get there, VeryThing!

Awesome work on the dog walk, Buffy, it was certainly not good dog walking weather here. I hope it was more pleasant where you are.

thatstoast, I like New Balance, but mostly only because they used to be more ethically produced than other brands (not sure if that's still true). I also find Asics very comfy. For the gym, good grip is important - my current trainers are so slippy on the floor I have to do my squats and lunges on a mat when I do Body Pump or I end up in the splits! But any decent brand of trainers is fine for the gym, as long as it's comfy for you.

I deadlifted 55lbs yesterday, and I'm totally stoked. That's a new record for me. I've had to learn to deadlift all by myself because I live in the Middle East and there's no female personal trainers at my gym. So I watched videos and I think I have my form right. I'm going to go for 66lbs next week, cause 55lbs was actually a little light. My goal is half my body weight. :)

Nice one fitty!

PELVIC FLOOR!

Pelvic Floor?

Yonic likes to shout at us periodically to remind us to do our pelvic floor exercises. It's a valuable service she provides :)

sera - I'm coming back from surgery too! And I used to be a keen runner also, so I know exactly what you mean. I am finding it VERY disheartening to go running now because I am so much heavier than I used to be and I basically struggle to run at a glacial pace. I find it hard not to remember all the way round what it was like to go at a decent lick and to fret about the difference. I find it demotivating and depressing. I think a huge amount of that is also social anxiety about appearing inelegantly red and panty. I am hoping that your posts can inspire me to get out there and feel more confident!

Conversely, though, I'm really enjoying my bike. I can put my helmet on and feel like I'm doing something that is new and exciting. I also somehow feel more anonymous and empowered on it than I do when running, even when I'm absolutely crawling along, which is strange. I managed a 10 mile ride yesterday, which isn't far for an experienced cyclist, but it is quite a long way for me. And it had 1000ft of climbing in it - PROUD!

fitfatty - that is an incredible amount of weight to lift! WOW!

Erm, I'm not sure how to ask this without possibly either showing what a complete novice I am, or coming out with a hideous humblebrag...

I've just started using the weights at the gym. I decided to replicate a move I had done in a class, which was sort of a deadlift, but just lowering and lifting without bending your knees and so not going all the way to the floor between moves. Yesterday I did 3 sets of 10 reps with a barbell that said it was a total weight of 25kg, i.e. 55lbs. So, is that quite a lot?

feckity - I have no idea, but it sounds like bloody LOADS to me!

Buffy - you need a rest day. With !

Holly, fair enough. When I told DH about lifting the bar by itself for the bench press, and that it was 20kg by itself, he weighed the dc just to get an idea of what 20kg felt like (dd1 weighs 20kg exactly it so happens).

I love your description of cycling - sounds like you've caught the bug :)

Not sure what I'll be doing today. I may try and shred while the dc are distracted elsewhere, or I might wait til DH gets home and go to the gym then. Feel like I'm in limbo a bit, waiting for the dc to start at school, when I'll have loads of time to get to the gym, at least for the first couple of weeks before I start back at university again.

I don't do that move, but I'd say that's pretty good feckity And 20 kgs is great for a bench press. You've obviously already got a lot of muscle. Good for you!

I just did Leg Presses with 176 lbs (88kgs), so over my own body weight! I'm stoked.

holly when I started exercising a little under 2 years ago I decided to swim. The thought of getting into the pool and having people look at me with all my jiggles and wiggles killed me. I actually bought a burkini style bathing suit that was really loose. But you know what, no one ever said anything or gave me anything but encouragement. Same when I started running and lifting weights. My gym is entirely big muscley Dudes and they are sweet hearts. There always telling me how good I'm doing and correcting my form if they think its wrong. I was so scared I was going to get harassed or fat shamed or laughed at and the exact opposite has happened.

hi!
erm (is this ok Yonic?) PELVIC FLOOR!

So much of this thread resonates with me. the "taking it too far" thing - my weight has always oscillated and I think it's because at my slimmest I am still stocky. So then I get into starving myself and then things will eventually go wrong. Very badly wrong. Also there is the "booze doesn't count" mindset ... and as others have said the "I don't really matter" mind set... and the "how the feck do I even exercise with a baby / SPD" situation (which is not a mind set but a set of practical difficulties)

Now my children are 4 and 6 and it's time for me to take care of myself. I am going to eat good healthy food and take as long over it as I like and enjoy it. If I sit down at the table and a child is dicking about and stopping me enjoying my food, I am NOT going to stuff it in my face, cold by the time I get to it, and feel unsatisfied, and then eat more and then think "feck it" and eat crisps and wine when they are in bed. NO. I am going to... put it aside and eat it later, slowly. I am also NOT going to anticipate the infuriating picking about at the table situation by glumly eating lumps of cheese in the kitchen while cooking because I am so knackered and hungry I can't face the mealtime while hungry (how perverse is that? I am too hungry to go to dinner?)

sometimes I am broken hearted by how shit mealtimes can be with kids.

I'd like to go out to dinner. Not with DP who doesn't really get it and tends to look at his watch. I want to go out to dinner, late, very hungry, dressed up, and have something lovely and take hours over it.

I'm very impressed with the weight lifting, my upper body strength is non-existent.

I didn't quite manage to get up at 6 so only had time to do the 2 of the three circuits in the shred (with my piddly little 1.5kg weights) but am pleased

I did something and will aim for the full thing tomorrow.
Also did a few pelvic floor exercises while waiting to go into a meeting, but am never sure my technique is right.

Magick, I have actually started to say 'go away, i'm eating' to my dcs (7 & 4), which might be a bit harsh, but I've had enough of eating with one hand or with a squirming toddler on my lap.

There's a story about legendary strong man who could lift up a bull. He trained by starting with a calf and lifting it every day until it was a full sized bull. Sometimes I feel like that with my children - they are 6 and 4 now and I still seem to pick them up for some reason every day. If I keep it up I should be able to lift 60kg easily in about, erm, 10 years?

I have shredededed this morning, so no gym this evening. Got kickboxing tomorrow evening. Currently trying to resist biscuits.

I've been to the gym this morning. My personal trainer was on a mission and I'm aching already. Lots of squats and leg presses so I'm really not looking forward to the stairs tomorrow. I'm not sure why I thought staying for Zumba and yoga was a good idea but I am feeling pretty proud of myself. I will be fit if it kills me...

Eating well is hard. I'm doing ok with veg filled main meals but resisting the crisps and junk snacks is much harder. I've tried substituting with herbal tea but that's not really doing the business. I think I'm going to divide up a big bag of nuts into snack portions and try that instead.

Happy to share the shouting!

I turned down a glass of wine with lunch so booze free September is off to a good start! I might go for latte free October next!

I've decided to do the #runeveryday challenge for charity to raise money for the refugee crisis, and go for 3 months, October through December. Just need to get it organised now.

Yonic i have the Dowe Egberts flavoured instant coffee. The caramel flavour and hazlenut are the nicest. 2 cals a cup.

Thanks!

Ok, I'm warning in advance this is a rant! I'm on another forum for sports and fitness and someone on it ask for advice in "toning up their bingo wings" so I linked her to a few triceps exercises. After that a personal trainer or wannabe personal trainer came along and told her these exercises would be useless because you can't spot burn fat and "toning" is a newbie phrase that doesn't mean anything, and tells the girl she has a long way to go before she see's any definition. And then tells her to reduce calories, cut this that and the other thing. From her pic the girl is obviously a body builder and that's her thing, but why be so difficult to someone who is just starting or who may have very different goals? It's crap like that that makes people drop their exercise regimes and healthy eating efforts because they haven't started looking like the bitch in the pictures. It drives me absolutely nuts!

I absolutely HATE this "it's all or nothing" view to exercise and healthy eating. If you don't look like a super model or fucking Arnold you're a failure! Why do we set ourselves up for these ridiculous goals.

Laughing at the idea of feckity weightlifting an 18 year old!!

And oh, fitfatty - I completely agree with that! You articulated something I've been struggling to get straight in my mind. It's just too perfectionist, too completist, too extreme - and unachievable for many like me.

Sera - amazing challenge!

I totally agree fitfatty. I (aim to) eat well most of the time but if it ever had to be all or nothing I'd just rebel against it and go straight off track. As soon as anything is banned I just want it more and end up obsessing over it.

I think it is also bad to start off trying too hard with exercise (by that I mean going from no exercise at all to mega gym sessions six days a week) because you're really likely to get injured and burn out. Slow and sustainable is my new motto for eating and moving! I did the c25k and thought it was fantastic.

Today I tried doubling up my classes for the first time (body pump followed by body combat). I am knackered but in a satisfying way. There is nothing like punching something to kill any work stress.