Healthy living support thread for feminists

[SeraOfeliaFalfurrias]

In response to a few discussions we've had down the pub - there are some of us who are striving for better health through better diets and more exercise, but who struggle among the usual support groups where it's all about looking better rather than good health. And it certainly can be tricky as a feminist, walking that fine line between not conforming to beauty ideals through dieting and making sure you actually look after your body through a healthy lifestyle.

So here is a support thread for those of us who are trying to eat better and get more exercise.

Me, I could do with losing a bit over 2 stone to get back to a healthy weight. I had an ankle injury after running a marathon about 3 years back, and between not being able to exercise and the stress of my PhD (I'm a stress binge eater) I gained 3 stone and lost all my hard-earned fitness. I'm finally getting back on track, I've lost nearly a stone and am hitting the exercise hard again. The hardest bit has been getting back into running - while my ankle is better, my joints are really feeling the extra weight I'm carrying. It's also hard to do karate when your wobble gets in the way of you doing a good kick and you get out of breath when sparring. So I need to lose weight in order to enjoy my sports hobbies again. I'm taking it slowly, doing Slimming World but not religiously - I'm not in a hurry to lost the weight, but I also need to watch that I don't take it so slowly that it never happens!

Yesterday I ran 8km, which is really encouraging as I was still going strong at the end. Just a couple of months ago I was run/walking 5km and would have welcomed death at the end! So I feel like some kind of switch has been flipped and my body now "remembers" how to run. The down side is that both ankles are aching and stiff today.

My diet has been rather rubbish the last couple of weeks, including a few binges, and I put some pounds back on, but I'm in that good place mentally now and hopefully ready to focus on getting my body healthy again. I loved being lean and fit and athletic, and I'm not getting any younger (thoroughly middle-aged), so I feel like the window of opportunity for getting myself in a sustained state of good health without drastic measures being required is closing!

Love this idea. Reading and will be writing

Hi Helena, what an inspirational story. You're so right about there being this drive to lose weight quickly. It's what all the diet plans sell us, and we're a society of instant gratification. It has been well-documented that the more slowly weight comes off the more likely it is to stay off, but it's really hard to patient and accept slow change.

You're also right about the excess skin. While I wish people would aim for 'lean and healthy' rather than 'thin for the sake of aesthetics', you're quite right that if weight loss results in loose skin, we should be far more accepting of it. You remind me of this story of a woman who refused to appear in a weight-loss magazine after the they wanted her to cover up her 'flabby' stomach. The magazine maintained it wasn't about her loose skin, but... well, you read and decide.

And yes on the sports bras and sports kit being difficult to find if you're over a size 16. Hardly helpful for the larger woman to get into exercise when she can't find gym kit to fit her.

Try Bravissimo for sports bras - my DIL is a 34G & finds them there.

I swim 3 x a week & it has done wonders for me. I am lucky in that I use my local university pool, it's cheap & is a training pool so is only heated to 25/26C and totally laned, so there only tend to be serious swimmers in it.

However, I'd like to get more leg & general endurance strength so I am resolved to start couch to 5K. Won't be until October, though, as have a holiday before then.

I will be running but I don't enjoy it. My main sport has always been weight supported so I find it difficult making that change. Plus with extra weight to carry there is even more pressure on joints and tendons. I had to have 2 shots at c25k last year because of Achilles tendon issues (a decent pair of trainers helped massively in that too).

I run because it is quicker to pull on a pair of trainers and just go out of the door straight on to a 1 in 3 hill. Given a choice I'd rather go and do the sport I've been into for 30 years but it is incredibly time consuming and I'd have to fit in around other people's training times, which with small children and a full time job is difficult.

I could do cycling though .

Walking to work rather than bussing from the station!

I'm going to be swimming and doing body balance classes. I really enjoy swimming, and if I go after dd2 is in bed then I'm generally the only proper swimmer, although the sauna, steam room and jacuzzi are all full. I do enjoy sticking my music on and swimming away. It's just difficult to get motivated to go, especially after a full day at work, knowing that I still have marking/planning to do when I get back.

Great thread can I join?
I'm not actively trying to lose weight ATM as I'm expecting dc2 in dec but I want to slow down my weight gain. I've gained 2 stone and I can really feel the difference in my legs and knees.
I used to weigh a lot more a few years ago and had terrible back problems so I want to avoid that.
My plan at the moment is walking a little more and not over indulging.

So far today I have avoided the cake in the canteen at work (don't actually want it) and have booked a double session of Body Combat and Body Pump this evening. Feeling good!

I opted for poached egg on toast for lunch rather than a cheese sandwich. I also got dressed in to my running gear so that I an ready to go as soon as it cools down enough, and I've put my iPod on charge.

I've dieted before, but never just tried to get healthy. It's nice to not be obsessed with points / calories / syns / dress sizes / weighing things. Just making small healthy choices.

Sera thankyou so much for sharing that article I feel exactly the same way she does. I do have before and after pictures (clothed) on Kodak from the first time but they havent been in any magazine. And your point about the instant gratification is a good one. Ive seen body shamers apply this term very readily to overweight people but those who want quick results or try to make you feel you are not doing well enough because even though you are losing ,its not coming off quickly are just as guilty of buying into the instant gratification thing surely . An excellent point.

Ive lost my weight at slimming world and although i still attend i dont buy the slimming world magazine anymore . Years ago it used to be quite health based ....now its much more looks based.

And re. Brooke from the article even if the mag had agreed with her at the outset they could easily have backtracked on that and airbrushed the photos. There is too much misogyny in the press for women to trust any promises they may make.

Have done v badly today eating snacks. Oh well!

Well I hope you enjoyed them, Yonic - and that's not said in an arsey way.

Everyone has some snacks sometimes, my downfall is cheese 'n' onion crisps. I could eat 2/3 packs a day no problem but I don't.

But when I do decide to have some I bloody well enjoy them!

No point in guilt.

Good point Magi, it's like all those people who talk about having a "cheat" day/ meal. You're not cheating because there aren't really any rules. If you fancy something "bad" have it, as long as it's not everyday you'll be fine.

Not really because they were "I'm too busy" food. But I am now walking to the station again and trying to clear my head!

I feel like I've done really well today. I took dd2 for a picnic at lunchtime and while she had sausage rolls, I chose to have tuna salad with no dressing (because I hate all salad dressings with a passion), and I enjoyed it , way more than I would have enjoyed sausage rolls. We had chicken and veg risotto for dinner. I also made fairy cakes with dd2 so I had to help her lick the bowl, and sample one with her, they weren't bad even if I do say so myself

I've even been swimming. I swam for 45 mins and was just short of a mile but the pool was closing so I couldn't do my last few lengths.

I try not to worry too much about food as I don't want to pass my anxieties on to the kids. God, I hope my kids are bulletproof.

I've always fancied triathlons but not enough to reorganise my life into doing one. Cycling would be my worst bit though - I can run and I used to swim for my county. Cycling is all a bit optional i.e. you can just glide along looking at shit, doing the odd push. Maybe because I had my bike primarily for commuting I never quite did it sportingly. I went off it a bit when I was knocked off my bike in London and the other cars just went round me, beeping crossly. A passing runner helped me out but the cars just went right by.

The Great North Run is a half marathon. That used to be a regular long run distance. Til children. I don't think you keep your condition for four years really, do you?

Outsself, I'm one of those people who has always been slim and has never had any trouble with weight. I never comment on my body because I never think to. My 8 and 9 year old daughters are coming out with horrifying stuff. 'x makes you fat', 'do I look fat'. etc. It's so hard to shield them from all that stuff, even if you don't have anxieties yourself.

I walk a lot, and also do reasonably strenuous 2 and 3 hour hikes. Hate running with a passion!

My next mission is to start more seriously with weights. I worry about osteoporosis. I'm really not strong enough, at all.

Morning all!

Feeling good this morning - got a 2 solid hours of Les Mills last night, came home to a very tasty jacket potato (they're great, I should eat them more often!) followed by strawberries. And got on the scales to a 2kg loss this morning. I don't expect that kind of loss to continue - it's just my holiday bad eating coming off (I find weight comes off pretty quickly if it's been recently put on - it hasn't had time to "settle"). But most importantly, my mind is still happily in "healthy" mode.

I do wish I knew why the switches between "healthy, no problem" and "binge on all the food" happen, mostly it's stress, but it's very annoying that I seem to perpetually exist in one state or the other for fairly extended periods. The occasional bad day would be fine as it would be easily counterbalanced by all the good days, but the bad periods always seem to last for weeks, which does a lot of harm. Stupid brain!

On the subject of kids, I have two DDs, 7 and 10, both very healthy weights. And I make a very strong point never to discuss weight or diets around them, or let anyone else do so, but I promote exercise for health and explain about how foods rate health-wise if they ask. But yes, like Itsthevibe, both of them come out with random "Am I fat?" or refuse to wear a certain pair of shorts because it makes them "look fat". It's terrifying, and I have no idea where they get it from. I guess it's from friends. For a few years now I've had DD1's friends refusing sweets when offered saying they've "already head enough calories today" or "I don't want to get fat".

I do that too Sera. My recent bad period has lasted since the end of June, because I got stressed then, then sort of thought "well I've buggered it up now anyway, I may as well carry on".

I think I self sabotage quite a lot. People thought I was losing weight to look good on my wedding day, whereas I knew that I just want to be healthier. The few weeks before the wedding I ate all sorts of crap, and I think it was subconsciously to prove that we were getting married whether I'd lost weight or not. Now the wedding is over, I'm back into healthy mode with no problems.

It's very sad about kids picking up on this. I have 2 dds and 2 nieces. My dds are 15 and 5, and dd1 seems a bit oblivious to it all, she doesn't care what she looks like particularly, she's a geeky nerd, with a perfectly healthy size 12/14 frame (she has the family boobs poor girl). Dd2 sees me standing on the scales and she sometimes likes a turn too, but she's young enough that she just likes reading the numbers and she thinks whatever number it says means she's perfect. It won't be long til she picks up the insecurities of her friends.

This is a good thread for me. I have been losing weight recently, mostly through diet, but I've kicked up my exercise rates too. It was sparked by buying a swimming costume online in a size that I thought I was but struggled to get into it. It was on sale so I kept it as a goal to fit into. I've lost a stone so far and can wear it now. And I've been enjoying the new aesthetic, enjoying clothes shopping, which I never used to do.

So, my motivations and pleasure in my success haven't been entirely 'pure' in terms of doing it for healthy living. But the losing weight definitely felt like a 'now or never' thing, I've seen how many problems being overweight can cause as you get older, and how much harder it is to deal with later in life.

I have two daughters and I don't talk about dieting or food restriction in front of them. I've mostly done it through no snacking and slightly smaller portions, so nothing they would have noticed. I feel like when I put them in the creche (which they enjoy) so I can go to the gym, or leave DH to do bedtime so I can go for a class, I'm giving an example that it's normal to make time for exercise in your life. I've also enquired about a family taekwondo class for me and dd1 to go to together, which she seemed excited about - mostly about going with me rather than taekwondo itself, though I hope she likes it.

I like feeling fit, and I like feeling strong, and I like that I have discernible muscles in my arms now, but sometimes I look in the mirror and think how weird it is that there is less of me now. How strange it is that a person can be smaller than they were.

I also worry that by starting this process I might accidentally drift into taking it too far. Already I've reached my original goal and decided I'd like to lose another half stone, and now that I'm comfortably within my healthy BMI range, I think, why not aim for the middle of the range?

I wish making a decision to be healthier could come without all the other baggage.

I think your point "taking it too far" is really interesting FF.

I lost about 3 stone a few years ago, I then wanted to put some muscle on. I thought I'd be happy at X weight, I'm currently about one and a half stone over that. Unfortunately it kind of feels that it's never enough.

I think that goes with a lot of things health and fitness related. Whether that's weight, size , a running time or a certain amount of weight lifted. I think there is a potentially dangerous drive in some of us

I guess the switches being periods of healthy/not healthy, like Sera mentioned, actually protect against taking it too far, to a degree. Although a more stable outlook would probably be best in the long run.

I remember one Christmas, when I'd previously had a good run of losing weight, I actually had the thought process - 'fuck it, I'm eating what I like, I can lose weight again later'. Which was definitely a mistake because it's not that easy to make a deliberate choice to switch back to healthy mode, and it took over a year before it happened.

I think I'm a bit hyper-aware of the dangers of taking it too far because a couple of people I was close to when I was young suffered from eating disorders. Dieting became a dangerous and unhealthy thing to do in my mind. I understand the benefits now, and that it can be done healthily, but part of me has enjoyed the control and the ability to change my body, and that's a bit scary.

I could use a support thread! I've been battling PND/depression since having my babies and the medication I am on is known for weight gain (it's an anti-d sometimes used to help people who need to gain weight).

I injured my knee in December and have just recently started physio for it which is helping greatly. I do a lot of step ups and lunges right now to try gain stability in my knee.

I probably have 50 pounds to lose to put me at a weight that allows me to be active with my two boys, especially as they get older and more active.

I hope to be starting a job at the end of September which will help me with routine and less comfort eating on the days my boys are with my ex. 2 out of 4 work days I will be using public transportation so will do the walk to a further stop, get off a few stops early to add extra exercise in.

My biggest downfall is not eating properly. I make sure my boys eat properly but I fail myself. I'm pretty good with fruit and veg but have terrible sugar cravings - cakes, chocolate cookies (no smoking or alcohol though so I have some good things going for me). Any suggestions to cut a sugar addiction?