Use of typically misogynistic words to describe women on MN

[minewouldbeyoug]

I'm talking about threads where an OP has discovered infidelity and the OW is referred to by posters as having 'no morals', being a whore, a slut, a cock - sucker etc.

There was a long - running thread (over several threads as they all filled up) here a little while ago where the OW had been described by the DH she was having an affair with as a really derogatory term which then was adopted as her 'title' rather than OW.

I in no way wanted to derail those threads where the OP needed a great deal of support. Which is why I've left it a little while before talking about my discomfort.

The threads were vicious about the DH as well but he was a bastard, a twat etc because there just aren't words like whore or slut that are applied to men.

The OP didn't use such degrading terms to describe the OW but many, many posters did.

I'm guessing (and hoping!) that most of those posters wouldn't normally use such terms to describe women but somehow, OW are fair game?.

I feel this is an extension of the idea that men can kind of do what they want sexually but women are held to different standards and there is a plethora of abusive terms to describe women's sexual activity but not for men.

I just felt extremely uncomfortable that women were using such terms - terms that have historically been used as unfair and abusive judgements by men to comment on women's sexuality.

JAPAB, those words are frequently used about women. Not just about their genitals. Or, identifying them solely with their genitals.

But I suspect you know that, you have probably made a bet with yourself to see how many nasty words you can get feminists to say or something. So I'm disengaging now.

YonicScrewdriver
"JAPAB, those words are frequently used about women. Not just about their genitals. Or, identifying them solely with their genitals.

But I suspect you know that, you have probably made a bet with yourself to see how many nasty words you can get feminists to say or something. So I'm disengaging now."

No, I truthfully said that I am unaware off the top of my head of any words where the inherent meaning of the words are sexist. Unlike with some racial terms.

I also pointed out that the words you wrote were slang terms for genitalia. And yes, I am aware that some men will refer to women collectively by their body parts. Of course words without such an inherent meaning can be used in sexist ways, that was never in doubt.

"You've just made really clear that you're on a wind up though....

Acting as if 'gash' isn't misogynist."

Don't think I made any comment on whether or not I considered them misogynistic.

Some men are crude beasts and will talk about sex and women in very crude terms. This isn't great. No doubt there are women who will talk about having had some [insert a slang word for penis] recently. While you perhaps should not automatically try to infer a deeper meaning about men or women from crude locker room style talk, it of course can be a signifier of it.

Oh FFS.

When men say "the place was wall to wall gash" they are referring to it being full of women, not disembodied vaginas.

Are you getting anything out of these discussions, dear?

"When men say "the place was wall to wall gash" they are referring to it being full of women, not disembodied vaginas."

Not disembodied ones, no. They are using a word for a body part to denote the people. Signifying that they "believe" that that body part is. in that context, the most important or relevant part of the people they are referring to.

Well they may not actually believe that as such, it could just be crude blokey talk with nothing deeper behind it.

That sort of thing is not unique to crude talk either. When someone talks about so-and-so's "muscle" meaning their bodyguards or otherwise hard men, they are not talking about disembodied muscles.

I said I was disengaging and I failed.

I'm now hitting the SGM button. Goodbye JAPAB.

it could just be crude blokey talk with nothing deeper behind it

That explanation doesn't actually make it any better.

And no it's not the same as "muscle" possibly because outside of bad Guy Ritchie films people don't talk that way.

Whereas in the real world wasn't there recently a prominent figure from football and his lawyer caught out using that extremely offensive term to refer to women?

But calling some one a "needle dick" was almost applauded on this thread quite recently.

I share the op's anger and frustration. But I feel that a careful balance needs to be expressed.

Are you trying to create that balance by pulling up men when they use that phrase on the internet?

Since the last few times I've noticed partial posting, he's come on solely to criticise an aspect of a woman's language whilst ignoring the wider problem she's citing, I doubt very much that he's on UniLad critiquing them for saying "I'd smash that" and other unpleasantries.

And of course one instance of the word needledick in months and years on MN is throwing the world out of balance vs rape threats, extreme and personal sexual insults, doxxing and all the other joys of the twittersphere etc.

I think that a lot more needs to come off the "insulting women" side of the scales before we reach a careful balance, don't you, partial?

I also think the OP's frustration related to the issue of women using misogynistic words about other women.

'Needledick' is very much the "locker room style talk" perpetuated by men that we've just been told we shouldn't take too seriously

It is an insult used by men towards men. If 'needledick' is a problem because it's derogatory for men, you would be better served going to a predominantly male discussion board and calling out the men there for using such terms. Would wager you'll find way more misogynistic insults, but still, it's probably the best place for you to start in your effort to eradicate the term 'needledick'.

Excellent point, Laurie.

Any thoughts, partial?

Is needle dick a real insult? Never heard it until I saw it on here.

I don't understand why words meaning genitalia are used as insults and by almost every. We are all made due to someone using them and they are fun to use.

Calling someone a "dick" or a "twat" just seems such a lazy use of language.

You've never heard the term needle dick?? It's been around for years

I've never heard any one say it and I've never seen it written down until the thread here.

I assumed it was a made up insult like (but not as clever as) skid mark.

Skid mark is a good insult. It's describing something unpleasant and unwanted and is not maliging sex, sexual preferences or genitalia.

"Maliging"? - maligning. If it's going to auto-correct please at least pick a real word.

Laurie's link is to a Hollywood film where it's used.

I think it's largely american and features in Hollywood films about high school/college boys. It certainly has been around for years. In The Accused (1988) it's what the watching, cheering men shout at one of the gang rapists when they're goading him on to have another turn, after chanting for the "Frat Boy" to have his go at raping the female victim.

I've never heard someone use the term in RL in the UK. When I have heard it it's been used by men but, according to this list of "10 worst insults for men", woe betide the woman who uses it…

www.brobible.com/life/article/insulting-names-to-call-guy/

Warning: "locker room style language"…of course an article about insults to men (largely used by men), is full of misogyny.

V glad to hear this raised as an issue, thanks. Must admit to wincing a few times on the relationships boards for exactly this reason, and briefly wondering whether one of the trolls who faked being a wife whose husband had cheated was deliberately getting all the commenters to refer to 'x's little slut' (tho was still convinced by said troll, so my antennae clearly ain't that good!)

Do I live a cosseted world of unicorns who shit rainbows? I've never heard use of gash or needle dick outside of MN. I'm pretty sure many posters of any sex haven't either.
Though I am chortling at the expressed need for 'balance' and the alleged neutral physiological ref of 'gash'. It's offensive and designed to be so.

UniLad, Pan?

Last paragraph of this article:

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/feb/07/uni-lad-sexism-teenage-stone-age