So, following on from the school skirts being too short thread, you'll never guess what I was told today

[BerylStreep]

A friend told me today that the headmaster in her DD's primary school has issued a directive that all girls must wear tights all year round, and has personally briefed each class explaining that girls' legs should not be seen, and nor should their pants ever be visible. He was explicit that this was so that boys wouldn't see their legs or pants.

I'm and at this. So parents of girls are put to additional expense of buying tights, and girls are forced to wear hot tights during summer months. The message being given clearly to primary aged girls is that their bodies are sexual (including legs - horror), and that they are responsible for ensuring that boys don't get to witness such sexuality.

My friend wants to complain, and has asked me to help her write a letter of complaint. Can anyone help me compose a letter of complaint?

I'm tempted to advise my friend to write to the head in the first instance asking him to clarify the situation and the rationale for the policy, and await his response before she makes a formal complaint.

The head is completely bonkers btw. He is obsessed with appearance, having regular shoe inspections, and would single out any child for humiliation if they weren't wearing completely black shoes, and sends the VP on a regular basis to interrupt classes to conduct sock inspections - sometimes twice in the same day .

Any thoughts on what I should suggest in a letter of complaint / who should be copied into the complaint?

Getting all those children (oh sorry i meam only girls of course) into wetsuits for swimming will be interesting.
Please keep us updated op

Please will you / your friend let us know of the response? I've been reading this thread with horror - poor girls.

I think your letter was well written and there was no hint of hysteria, which can lead to peoples' views being disnissed - no matter how on point they are.

Agree. Brilliant letter. Can't wait for an update.

Great letter. I'd have gone with:
Dear [twat's name],
Thank you for making tights mandatory to deal with the levels of arousal caused by 5-11 year old girls' legs. Yes they will be terribly uncomfortable in the summer months, and risks thrush and UTIs, and is technically sexual discrimination, but it certainly is worth all of these things to ensure that no boys are aroused by the girls' legs.
Thankfully, females have no sex drive, so obviously, the boys will not have to similarly cover up.
I remain concerned that the girls' faces will be uncovered however. Hence I'm sure I'll have your support to send my daughter in wearing a pillow case over her head. I assume you will institute this as mandatory for the other girls ASAP. I will also be wearing a pillow case over my head - you can't be too careful. Can you paint the school gates bright yellow please? The pillow case significantly reduces visibility while I'm driving, and I need something I can aim towards. Please ask all the other mums to wear their pillow cases as well, and please ask the dads to mind well out of the way when they see us driving towards them. Clearly there will be some downsides and discomfort while everyone gets used to the pillow cases, but I'm sure it will be worth it. Thanks for your support.

Several users have written something to this effect in response to the original post:

"I'd remove my child from the school in this situation"

I am always surprised by the selfishness and heartlessness of some parents. Who cares how it impacts YOUR views and beliefs. Stop being so egotistical and consider the upheaval your children would face just because your ego has been damaged by a ruling on school uniform. The girl in question doesn't care whether she wears tights, shorts or a skirt, she's probably thinking about playing with her school friends and doing her school work.

The fact that there are people in this world, supposedly caring parents, who would limit their child's social life and potentially damage their educational standing, merely because of their own selfish opinions is disgusting.

In any case, the entire story is based on conjecture and I truly believe that no one is forcing 4-8 year olds to wear tights, especially not to control primary school boys' sexual urges. We don't live in the 1920s where a single decision by the headmaster is enforced regardless of other staff members and school governors.

In the 5th para you could replace the word disparity with inequality and say something like an inequality that contravenes the Equality Act (2010) and represents sex discrimination.

Good letter btw, although I'm not sure about the statement about the shoes. If the school rules are for plain black then the issue might be avoided if the rules were followed. I'd focus instead about the nature of the inspections and the inappropriateness of the public humiliation on the self esteem of children. It's bullying actually.

Hi Mrbinary.

If you don't believe the OP then MN guidelines are to report it.

lol @ MrBinary

who may or may not be the head of a mixed rc primary school in the uk

How do you know the child wouldn't care if she is wearing tights? I imagine she might care if she is wearing tights in sweltering weather.

I agree that removing the child from the school is not the answer. I think raising holy hell is the better choice.

I hated wearing tights as a child once I was 4 refused to wear them end of. Hated the way the felt still do know. If I had to wear them all year long would have been awful.

In para 3 omit either 'In addition' or 'also' as they mean the same thing.

Btw, are you absolutely sure this is an official policy? It might be an idea to start with asking the head to confirm that your friend's understanding is correct.

Have you ever worn tights, Mr10011011? If not I suggest you try them before saying a child won't care if she's wearing them or not!
I wouldn't wear tights in the summer - I'm lucky in that my job doesn't require them - because they are too hot and itchy.I find it hard to concentrate if I am too hot, and I am concerned how school rules which prioritise appearance over comfort affect children.

DD1 is at primary. She would be livid if I told her to wear tights in the summer. She's a hot and sweaty thing. Being uncomfortably hot is really detrimental to concentration.

Yes thanks MrBinary for coming on here telling women and girls how they feel about this change of uniform policy and what we should be doing about issues that affect us (not you).

Beryl, change the letter forthwith. You're opinions are clearly selfish.

I'd also be interested to hear MrBinary, why you think such a change in rules would be suggested by the headmaster and what you thought about the humiliation of school children (primarily girls too it would appear) by him, for matters beyond their control?

MrBinary, I think you missed that the girl in question did challenge her headmaster by proposing skorts as an alternative.

I think you are new to MN - again, if you disbelieve the story in the OP, the rules here are to report the post not to post about your disbelief.

Incidentally, no one said anything about whether you had a DD - it was suggested you probably did not have direct experience of wearing tights in summer.

Hope that's helpful.

Oh and "hysterical" (what hysteria?) and "ugly face of feminism" are sexist insults. In case you didn't realise.

Mr Binary - so what if you've got a daughter of your own? That doesn't give you a single second of experience of living as a woman or girl so you don't get a free pass to decree what should and should not be important to women and girls or toss about sexist insults or make spurious allegations that this is to be expected in a Catholic school.

Yes I understand the semantics of your argument very well, unfortunately for you it isn't going to drive me away from expressing my views.

It seems that further explanation of my post is required:

I was challenged as to why I assumed that the uniform requirements were made by the Headmaster. For me to explain this and make perfect sense to reduce the amount of possible distortion of my comments, I had to explain that as a potential reader who did not question the post's validity, I would assume that the Headmaster directed any decision due to the information present in the post. As this is not the case it was important for me to mention my doubt to maintain consistency, not to cast further doubt upon the thread.

I personally feel that threats to speak to newspapers and multiple suggestions of withdrawing children from the school does indeed resemble hysteria and is an inappropriate response to this event.

"The ugly face of feminism" If you are aware of the saying, you will know that this refers to the bad side of an instance. Indeed there is a 'beautiful face' of feminism, but I think the post I highlighted showed part of the negative side of feminism, hence the expression used.

Neither of these are sexist insults, and I believe you are attempting to have me or my posts removed from the forum in a very obvious way.

If you need any further explanation, are not satisfied with my reasoning or take issue with any other part of my comments I would appreciate you letting me know.

I was challenged as to why I assumed that the uniform requirements were made by the Headmaster

I rather think that you were asked challenged why you'd assumed that the uniform requirements were made, not why they were made by the headmaster.
Your posts are bloody rude as well as nonsensical.

As a microbiologist with an interest in the use of language, I assume you know the root of the word hysteria?

Scalopsrgreat said "I'd also be interested to hear MrBinary, why you think such a change in rules would be suggested by the headmaster"

As for Hysteria, the historical roots are meaningless in modern conversation, a quick google of the definition will condone it's usage here.

Hysteria, exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion or excitement.

I believe that the notion of withdrawing children from school based upon these events is indeed an exaggerated response stemming from emotion, primarily anger.

for me.

Ugh sorry, spelling mistakes

*its

For the sake of clarity I am absolutely certain this policy has been introduced. I saw the letter which was sent home to parents myself, and also heard my friend's DD's account of the briefing given to classes directly. I have also spoken to another friend whose child, in another class, gave the exact same account, so I have no reason to disbelieve this.

The issue with the shoes - the rule had been before that they needed to be mainly black. The Head took up post, I believe half way through the school year, and then started enforcing all black, with absolutely no coloured trimmings. It was the fact that parents were expected to buy new shoes towards the end of the school year which caused concern, and as I said before, there are a large number of low income families attending the school, my friend being one of them.

Socks have been yet another change - only a couple of months ago the Head decreed that rather than white socks, all pupils were to wear grey socks. Hence the regular sock inspections, and as I said before, to the extent that there have been two inspections in the one day . Farcical doesn't even begin to cover it! The man is completely obsessed with all things leg and footwear. Now, having gone & bought grey socks, parents of girls are expected to fork out for tights.

I actually think that asking to see the equality assessment is absolutely the right thing to do, and given that our legislative framework in NI demands that it is done in every case where there is a change in policy, it should have been done. I highly doubt that it has been though, as it would never have got through any half decent equality screening process.

Anyone else vomming at the 'beautiful side of feminism' comment? patronising & condescending much?