So, following on from the school skirts being too short thread, you'll never guess what I was told today

[BerylStreep]

A friend told me today that the headmaster in her DD's primary school has issued a directive that all girls must wear tights all year round, and has personally briefed each class explaining that girls' legs should not be seen, and nor should their pants ever be visible. He was explicit that this was so that boys wouldn't see their legs or pants.

I'm and at this. So parents of girls are put to additional expense of buying tights, and girls are forced to wear hot tights during summer months. The message being given clearly to primary aged girls is that their bodies are sexual (including legs - horror), and that they are responsible for ensuring that boys don't get to witness such sexuality.

My friend wants to complain, and has asked me to help her write a letter of complaint. Can anyone help me compose a letter of complaint?

I'm tempted to advise my friend to write to the head in the first instance asking him to clarify the situation and the rationale for the policy, and await his response before she makes a formal complaint.

The head is completely bonkers btw. He is obsessed with appearance, having regular shoe inspections, and would single out any child for humiliation if they weren't wearing completely black shoes, and sends the VP on a regular basis to interrupt classes to conduct sock inspections - sometimes twice in the same day .

Any thoughts on what I should suggest in a letter of complaint / who should be copied into the complaint?

So a boy's legs aren't sexual, but a girl's are... interesting.

Wow, I am even more cross now!

I'm pretty sure I couldn't distinguish between a boy's legs and a girl's legs if they were in an anonymised line up and pre-pubescent!

I am American so don't really have much experience with all this school uniform business, but I can say that as a feminist, if I were the parent of a child, especially a girl, in this school, my head would pop right off in outrage. I applaud you, OP, in helping your friend fight this.

What do they propose to do about PE? Or do they have this separately?

Outrageous! Why does a grown man think little girls' legs shouldn't be seen?!!!!! And why boys are more important in what they eed (not to see little girls' legs) than the girls' comfort, sweating it out in summer. Move schools after a massive complaint - go above him to the council. I wouldn't even bother with him as he sounds like a total twonk.

I mean, does he sit there looking out the window and thinking that the boys are staring at the girls' legs????

Try and get a few parents of boys on board to protest about the blanket suspicion of staring at girls' legs.

Yes - after all, the headmaster is implying that all the boys in this school are barely controlled perverts. I think their parents should be furious.

Dear HT,

I thought my child was attending an RC school, however the latest guidelines on uniform appear to indicate the school is now using Sharia law.

Please could you explain to me what might happen to a boy who sees a girls legs? Is he in danger? If this is to do with a boy thinking sexually about a girl then I think there is a safeguarding issue you should investigate.

Or do you want little girls to cover their legs because of your own perversion? If this is the case then you should seriously consider another career.

Perhaps you just think little girls are inferior to boys so you are deliberately making life harder for them, is that the case?

I am at a total loss as to why a little girl needs to cover her legs but a little boy doesn't. What happens when they go to their swimming lessons? Will girls have to wear tights to swim in?

What about a girl who breaks her ankle? Will she be prevented from attending because you cannot buy tights that cover a cast? If she will be allowed to attend not wearing tights why should any other?

Please could I see your risk assessment of this new rule?

Ooooh, liking asking to see the risk assessment!

Friend coming tomorrow to discuss a draft letter, can't decide whether to go for softly softly, 'I'm quite sure that wasn't your intention', or 'WTF do you think you are doing?'

Very surprised by the number of posts saying 'move school' like that was something you could do easily. And it leaves all the other children in the same situation. No, if anyone should be leaving the school it's not the kids.

Good point. Humiliating the children because of their shoes is really objectionable, too. It sounds as though this head needs to find another line of work.

I would hit the roof if this was my dc's school. Go in all guns blazing - all of them OP!

Please, please do mention UTIs in addition to thrush. It would be easy to find links about how bad tights can be for girls with a tendency to get UTIs. They are a serious health problem, very painful and unpleasant, and can result in lots of missed school.

Trying to take out the ludicrousness of this and thinking it through from the OP's perspective she has a dd in Y5 and will need secondary school references by the autumn half term.

I also would want to know a bit more about this man, is he the vindictive type? What are the schools results/reputation? Is this head generally respected in the community? Are the governors sensible or in his pocket?

I think I would put my child's overall needs for the future above my anger about this. I know it's wrong, but children have only one chance to get into the best secondary a parent can possibly get them into.

But, once the references and forms were in - then I would start my campaign.

What concerns me most of all and apart from all the H&S, comfort and equality issues is this man's mind. Why is he even spending so much time thinking about little girl's sexy legs and their impact on little boys that he has to introduce a punitive dress code? That for me is the real red flag and requires an area of this man's thinking that needs further exploration.

A strict uniform code I can live with. If it says plain black shoes, then I simply don't understand why parents buy anything else to be fair. However, uniform should be comfortable, accessible and practical.

Finally, what about the girls who have eczema?

Yes that is exactly what I was thinking about the HM's mentality Beaufort Brilliant letter .

I was going to put something else in that letter, thought better of it, but this morning - well I don't mean to offend but I went to schools run by the Sisters of Mercy, I feel I can have a go - and no I know no parent would actually send that letter.

Dear Sister Mary HT,

Sorry I know you are not actually a member of the Sisters of Mercy but you seem to be channeling the spirit of 1950s/1960s and think you are running a Magdalen Laundry not a school in the 21st century.

The Ryan report stated that women in S o M institutions, "endured frequent assaults and humiliation designed to make them feel worthless" and this is precisely what you are doing to girls in your care. Why are you doing this?

OK, this is my draft so far. Would be grateful for any suggested amendments:

I am writing in relation to the recent policy decision of the school that girls must wear tights to school all year round. I have concerns about its introduction for a number of reasons.

Medical advice states that the wearing of tights can cause or exacerbate medical conditions such as thrush, urinary tract infections or eczema. In addition, it will also be uncomfortable for girls in hot weather and therefore appears to be somewhat punitive. I would be grateful if you could advise if a risk assessment has been conducted in relation to the policy, and if you would forward a copy to me please? I would also be grateful if you could provide me with a copy of the Section 75 equality assessment for this change in policy.

In addition to medical and comfort aspects that this new policy creates, I am also concerned about the underlying assumptions and message which has been given to the children at the school. I understand that all children in the school from age 4 to age 11 were briefed by you, and told that it is inappropriate for girls’ pants and legs to be on show. However, rather than having any safeguarding effect, this seems to be sexualising pre-pubescent children, and giving them the clear message that if someone finds them sexually attractive it is their fault. I am quite sure you would agree that this is not the message that we should be sending to both our girls and boys.

Further to this, there appears to be an element of disparity, given that boys are permitted to wear shorts (and have legs on show), yet girls aren’t.

Could I ask you to outline what other options have been considered? For example, have you considered providing girls with a greater choice of uniform, such as shorts, skorts or culottes, and allowing them (and parents) to choose for themselves, rather than introducing an oppressive and punitive policy?

Finally, I would seek your assurance that no girl will be singled out should they not wear tights. It is with concern that I have heard about the regular sock and footwear inspections which are conducted within the school, and that children are singled out if they are deemed not to have complied with the policy. Whilst I recognise the benefits that uniforms contribute to having a sense of pride in the school and oneself, the recent and successive changes to the school’s uniform policy completely fail to recognised the impact this has on low income families.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

"girls’ pants and legs to be on show. "

I would take out "pants and" from this sentence as it weakens your point about the parallel with boys

And it's not a element of disparity, it's a huge disparity.

I would try to add something about skirts and ankle socks being culturally normal and traditional as well as extremely wide spread in the UK, this is basically the norm and these kids would be singled out in the area. Forward the letter (and mention that you have done so) to the diocese, priest, councillors and school governors and anybody else who might have some influence on this megalomaniac who overestimates the importance of his role.

For a kill all argument say something about religious extremism in case he's doing this out of deep religiosity.

Love Beryl's letter. Spot on!

I would lead with comfort - and specifically talk about it being hard to concentrate when hot. Then put the medical bit at the end of that para.

I also agree with pointing out that it is socially normal for young girls to wear socks and skirts and ask why the need to depart from that and want particular concerns they have.

Agree with Yonic too. Great letter.

Thanks all. I have taken your comments on board, and also added in a sentence that 'naturally I am supportive of appropriate safeguarding policies.'

I have forwarded it to my friend for sending.

I think that is really creepy from
the Head and a bit
mad.