Wedding 'giving away' tradition

[Marzenka]

What do you think of the wedding tradition where the bride is 'handed' to the groom by her father? It is not common in other countries and cultures. Do you like/accept it or do you find it too old-fashioned and slightly insulting?

I only mention it as an example to others. Some women think all women live off men and only earn pin money but if you can see that plenty of mothers of the bride are the highest earners present and paying for the day then you encourage women to get out of those kitchens and do interesting high paid work!

Wow, super offensive.

You know full well that many FWR posters aren't "in the kitchen".

And that those who have chosen to SAH certainly don't think that all women live off men.

In your job, you surely respond to the actual facts in front of you, rather than engaging auto preach. Could you show other MN posters the same respect, please?

I only mention it as an example to others. Some women think all women live off men and only earn pin money

Yes, I agree. I find the biggest issue with the FWR aboard is that they all think women live off men and only earn pin money!

Well as a SAHM who volunteers with two organisations obviously my DD will not want me to give a speech no matter how many lives I improve. However DD has realised if she gets married there is all the faffing about organising and wasting of good money feeding family you haven't seen for years. So I doubt I will ever have to worry there. At the moment none of my kids plan on getting married... DD as it will hurt her future career as people will expect her to have kids and she is certain that career will come first. So rather than worry about the giving away tradition it is more worrying about if any of my children will marry. Perhaps I should be grateful none of them want to?

There may have been a touch of sarcasm in my post TheBlackRider hence the at the end.

Yes, I think they were!

Well maybe the previous poster should stop devaluing 'womens work' make sure people who choose to do childcare - for their own or other people's children - are paid an appropriate wage and pretending that 'masculine' jobs are worth what we pay them.
Not forgetting that when enough women do these hallowed jobs they become worth less.
But I suppose if childcare was a valued role then the men would get all the jobs.

Sorry, totally off topic rant.
FWIW no one walked me down the Isle, and after a long and embarrassing wait the registrar asked me in a snappy manner where the bride was.
It was in the 80s BTW.

I absolutely hate it and, TBH, I don't respect women who are 'given away'.

I also hate it when men ask their partner's father for permission to ask them to get married.

I also hate the notion of being 'engaged'. Ladies, you are not a public toilet! I'm engaged screams to be 'this bloke wants to own me forever but we can't afford to get married right not so he's given me a ring to show the world, well mainly other menfolk, that I belong to someone'.

I walked down the aisle with DH. It was in a registry office, so it was more walking into the room together. My sister did precede us, as the only bridesmaid.

I also refused to change my name unless DH did, so we merged our names.

I vocally made the point before the wedding I wasn't anyone's to "give away" so nobody said anything about it.

Throwback I disagree with yourr post!

I am huge feminist, but when I got married it was in church, in the village where I grew up and was confirmed. I had all the traditions. I really can't completely explain it and am a bit embarrassed really as it's so out of line with my views generally. My parents were amazed - but pleased. Perhaps subconsciously I wanted to please them. It was important to me that it happened in the village church where generations of my family have been baptised, married and buried, so maybe it was a question of all the traditional aspects all going together. We had the most fantastic wedding. It was perfect. Not that it did me any good, he had an affair and we're now divorced

But it still is right up there as one of the best days of my life.

I absolutely hate it and, TBH, I don't respect women who are 'given away'.

Oh no, I'm desperate for your respect so that really burns.

Throwback, I see from your posts elsewhere that you're married. Didn't you have a period of engagement, ring or not?

Throwback I also disagree with your post. But then, I am in the Southern US, where the custom is for friends and families to give lots of parties for engaged couples. Didn't want to miss out on that.

Besides, as I said upthread, I provided my own engagement ring. And I think I sent a pretty clear message on not being owned by a man by keeping my name.

Im getting married later this year. I am being taken down the isle by both of my parents. One either side (not a large dress!) I see their role in that part of the wedding as support for me and showing their support for the wedding.

The vicar will ask "who brings this woman" too because I am not property and we discussed this... Likewise I'm not promising to "obey"

"I think determining your respect for someone on the basis of their wedding is fairly bizarre tbh. There may be many reasons for people choosing what they do."

Yy.