When men call you darling or love

[Notrevealingmyidentity]

But when they are trying to be nice. Is there a way of dealing with it politely ? I can't say as it bothers me that much but it's just a demonstration of I'm the different one (which in my line of work benign female is different I guess but it doesn't feel right)

This is further complicated by living in the north where plenty of people call each other "love" and so on regardless of gender.

If you replied "thank you Alan" or "thank you mr jones" each time, do you think they'd notice?

As in if that's not their name you mean ?

No, I mean in the overemphasis of their name. If people use names "unnaturally" in conversation it jars.

Not sure it will stop them but might make them feel a bit odd.

Hmm. Maaybee. But a lot of people I can never remember their damn name . I usually work somewhere different most days.

What of you responded and called them darling? Or would that just be inviting trouble?

Really? You can't just ignore it? You've said yourself people do it regardless of gender. So why get worked up over it? Pick your battles.

Call them "son" back? Then you can make a joke but make the point.

I never said I get worked up over it. I said - if you refer to my posts that I'm not keen on it.

I should elaborate. Yes people to refer to each other as Love and so on. However a lot of my work takes place around the construction industry and as a rule I don't find the men in construction call each other love even if say a woman in a shop might call them love IYSWIM.

It highlights that I'm not one if them , I'm just the token female on site.

Actually calling them live back might work. It would be the right side of amusing but hinting that I'm not keen in being called it myself.

*love

Don't go to Nottingham then - people call each other 'me duck'. And in Glasgow it's 'hen'! Inter-male communication is 'mate' or 'pal', even when you aren't friends. It's a crazy ole world out there.

But your only option is to politely say that you aren't comfortable with it, and offer them an alternative.

There's a bloke at work who calls me darling - it's not just the way he is; I have had to point out he is married and has a child. I just say, "Please don't call me that. You know my name."

More generally, I vary between ignoring it, a Paddington hard stare, a raised eyebrow or "Please don't call me that," depending who/when/where.

Did you just refer to a man as a bloke? How dare you... They're people too, you know.

if it is gender neutral i would ignore it. I hate it when it's some man I don't know. It feels like a pat on the head. good dog. The master is pleased.

a male friend of mine did/does it to me and i sent him by viber that song by the australian baby 'don't call me baby'. he still does it

like the suggestion to call them son.

I don't want to be Mother though, so maybe

"thanks love"

"alright sonny"

It would be alright if you were in a pub in Huddersfield and all the blokes were "loving" each other too

At work, though, its just unreconstructed bloke habit, not meaning to undermine, I am sure, but nonetheless it does, so I would have to call them on it.

I might call them sweetie, or lovey or something exaggerated back.

Petal, perhaps
Treacle

OP, I work in a similar industry and regularly get called "love", "doll" or "princess". They are a lovely bunch of mainly older chaps, and to be honest I really don't mind. It hasn't occurred to me to take offence.

You know it's funny but this bothers in a different way than the what you might call obvious sexism. Because these are nice men who don't realise they are doing it IFYSWIM.

I wouldn't say I was offended by it - I know it isn't meant to be taken that way.

Ofcourse if I were in a pub in Huddersfield I'd fully expect to be called love by the staff be they male or female.

But at work in an man make (or relatively so) environment it's slightly different.

Have a lot of telephone conversations with the public at work and I'm constantly referred to as love, babe, darling', etc. I think it's probably laziness in trying to remember my name and they are just looking for a way of being relaxed and familiar without actually making the effort. The topic they are usually talking to me about is personal and sensitive and although I long to say, "OI! Don't call me babe" it would not be appropriate to pull them up on it at the time.
Colleagues who use those terms get told though

perhaps scurry, if you said "my name is scurry" every time they called you babe. It's not really pulling them up. You're not saying 'don't call me babe'.

luckily don't get called babe or love by colleagues but sometimes our 'clients' which is a grandiose name for them. they do it. i wouldn't necessarily want them to know my name. they might read something in to that.

If it's in the workplace, then it's okay to say, "My name is..."

But if it's in a shop or wherever, you don't necessarily want to give them your name.

It's about intention in my view. To many people "love" is the natural thing to say - I am guilty of this and am a woman. I also use son to young lads.

I just appreciate their politeness.

I'm guilty of doing this

If I spend too much time with my DGM often say 'flower' 'queen' or 'cock' - i know it's extremly patrinising and cringe after they have gone.