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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

What do men think feminists should be focusing their energies on?

552 replies

PetulaGordino · 08/02/2015 21:31

It's pretty clear that there are many men with constructive criticism to offer feminists in terms of what feminist issues they should be focusing their energies, activism and outrage on.

This vital advice is at risk of being lost, spread as it is among myriad threads in this section. Perhaps it would be a good idea to collect it together into one thread, for ongoing reference when posters in this section consider their feminist activities and whether they are really focusing on the right issues.

Obviously it should be borne in mind that feminists are only able to focus strictly on one topic at a time in terms of activism and outrage, so don't overload us with too many issues at once!

OP posts:
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6
MephistophelesApprentice · 09/02/2015 15:01

TERF Trans exclusionary radical feminists. Those who do not believe that MtF women should have the rights of other women. Correct?

FloraFox I'm non-neurotypical and struggle with nuance. Do you actually want a response to most of your questions, or where they meant to be some sort of mockery? I do actually have responses, if you are interested, but I am genuinely confused as to which are serious.

I have made a response to LurcioAgain which I hope will answer the question I was reasonably sure was serious.

FuckOffGroundhog

And if someone has an internal sense that they will get on with white people over black people..it certainly isn't racism that leads them to feel that way. No.

I understand the basis of your comment. However, it would be a more accurate description to say that if she saw a group of people belting out 'Born to be Wild' she'd feel they were more likely to share her interests than a group singing "Blurred Lines". The internal sense in this case is informed by experience and readily available (albeit superficial) information on the differing interests of the group.

With the exception of the mental tendencies enforced by differing hormonal balances, behaviour is not innate to gender. As I am not a feminist, radical or otherwise, I cannot be a TERF.

King1982 · 09/02/2015 15:02

I get that petula, do you conform to gender roles in your life? I think that is the difference between being religious/athiest comparison.

FloraFox · 09/02/2015 15:03

This is a monumental derail so that King doesn't have to admit that his attempted pedantic take-down didn't work.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/02/2015 15:03

Saying gender roles are very important to feminism over and over, doesn't make it any more correct than it was the first time you said it. Sex is innate, gender a social construct. Women are oppressed because they have vaginas, not because they like fucking flower arranging.

Can we please stop calling Magnetic a cunt? He seems to lack both the depth and the warmth.

I am now home, and wearing slippers, so this afternoon, I am identifying as an elderly man. I might buy a pipe. If you don't all speak to me as if I am an elderly man, or deny my elderly maledom, I will start to actually fade like the photos of Marty McFly in Back to the Future. However, this might also be a crock of utter shit, just like similar sounding theories.

JassyRadlett · 09/02/2015 15:03

I like the atheism analogy, given some of the other discussions I've had on MN.

Magnetic, your self-worth is tied up in another person being subservient to you? Why do you think that is?

My husband and I both kept our own names when we got married. Couldn't see any good reason to change either of them. We didn't consider 'insecure people might think you're a doormat' as a good reason.

Enormouse · 09/02/2015 15:03

No magnetic? That's a shame.

I wanted to ask why my Dp acknowledging our dcs mixed race heritage makes him a repressed doormat.

I guess he's a racist too. I'm not surprised.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 09/02/2015 15:06

Meph as an explanation: sarahditum.com/2014/07/28/how-terf-works/

FloraFox · 09/02/2015 15:06

TERF Trans exclusionary radical feminists. Those who do not believe that MtF women should have the rights of other women. Correct?

Not correct. See here:

sarahditum.com/2014/07/28/how-terf-works/

FloraFox I'm non-neurotypical and struggle with nuance. Do you actually want a response to most of your questions, or where they meant to be some sort of mockery? I do actually have responses, if you are interested, but I am genuinely confused as to which are serious.

You could start by telling me whether you agree with the diagram I posted.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/02/2015 15:06

Oh, and DH couldn't give a shiny shit if I use his name, my birth surname or one I made up in the shower. This is because he recognises that I am a person. He could also kill you with one finger.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/02/2015 15:09

And (sorry) just for info TERF is an insult given by a very small minority of very vocal MtF trans* in order to shut women up who know that people with penises are male, because, biology. It doesn't mean that we don't think they should have rights, be protected from harm, have access to medical services or live peaceful and happy lives.

If you've been told other wise, that person lied like a cheap watch.

King1982 · 09/02/2015 15:10

Flora - not a derail.

Puffin- does your DH have a gun?

RufusTheReindeer · 09/02/2015 15:11

My DH feels the same way as puffins DH

Except the whole "kill you with one finger bit"

I have actually taken his name though....so my point may be slightly lost

Original poster
PetulaGordino · 09/02/2015 15:11

"I get that petula, do you conform to gender roles in your life? I think that is the difference between being religious/athiest comparison"

sometimes i do by chance because it fits in with my personal preferences or character. sometimes i can't avoid it, either because it is too ingrained through socialisation or because of society's structures. like atheists have to conform to the christian calendar in the UK if their children go to school

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/02/2015 15:12

No, he doesn't have a gun. He's neither in the Navy, nor the Artillery.

Original poster
PetulaGordino · 09/02/2015 15:15

i should add, that was a deliberately simplistic comparison on my part, for the sake of clarity

OP posts:
RufusTheReindeer · 09/02/2015 15:16

petula

You do need to keep it very simple for me...keep up the good work

King1982 · 09/02/2015 15:17

I'm not aware what calendar athiests prefer. I suppose the summer is good for kids to have off.

Original poster
PetulaGordino · 09/02/2015 15:17

and this is always the problem with analogies. people like to spend more time unpicking the way that the analogy doesn't work than they do actually focusing on the original topic in question

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/02/2015 15:18

Children don't have Summer off because of any Christian calendar, just by the bye.

Easter and Christmas almost yes, but Summer, not.

King1982 · 09/02/2015 15:19

What is his one finger death technique? Is he a roman emperor? (Technically a thumb)

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/02/2015 15:20

Are you sockpuppeting for Magnetic?

King1982 · 09/02/2015 15:20

Petula - I didn't say they did

King1982 · 09/02/2015 15:21

Sorry puffin

King1982 · 09/02/2015 15:22

Puffin??? What?

FloraFox · 09/02/2015 15:28

Here's one for the men who say "ahh now it makes sense" when something they couldn't understand when explained by a woman is explained by a man:

genderdetective.wordpress.com/2015/02/07/guest-post-derrick-jensen-responds-to-john-stoltenberg/